There are so many times I'd like to be brave
Times I should fight, but instead, I cave
It doesn't make sense why I am this way
I can't face the mirror, I'd rather look away
It's strange, being defeated by one's own mind,
Assaulted by thoughts too cruel to be kind,
It's so much easier to hide from it all,
To write from the shadows, not standing tall,
With a voice that's never meant to be heard,
To express reality without saying a word,
Imposing boundaries when they shouldn't exist,
Acting like it's okay, but to quietly resist.
Doing everything one can, just to save face,
Caught between a rock and a hard place.
I'd hide my words away if I could,
In a secret lair no one will ever find,
With shame leading the writers' crusade,
And envy at the helm behind acting kind.
It doesn't make sense to feel this way
Blamed for thoughts you cannot control,
Emotion must have its voice stolen away
If left free, it will take its toll
Exposed, one watches, stuck, paralyzed
As it reigns hell on all who bear witness
In the battlefield between wrong and right,
It's designed for another kind of person,
Perhaps one much stronger than us all,
Who can do everything with finesse and poise,
Who bears their burdens with grace, with no noise.
In the end,
Maybe I don't want to break the glass,
Maybe I just want to prove to the world,
That I was not made to be a waste of space,
That I could reach the ceiling in the first place.
Maybe the way I think is wrong,
Maybe I'm an affront to nature,
Maybe my mind wasn't meant to be,
Maybe I'm an impossible creature.
Does this make me any less valid?
Does this make me unworthy?
Maybe I don't ever make sense..
Nevertheless, it would be nice.. to be heard.
Where do you find courage in the land of fear,
Is it a treasure, hidden at the end of a rainbow,
That appears when the sun rises in the west,
Where the rain falls upward, instead of below?
I'm told to climb mountains that are molehills,
Yet I'm not told which ones are deceptive,
I'm told to look for mines when the land is clear,
I fail, but I'm trying to be perceptive.
I meet people whom I can't help but trust,
They lead me through valleys and rivers of glass,
When the time comes that I need to reflect,
Their illusions shatter, and I fight to pass.
If there's a day that I learn to be brave,
When I'm not defeated by my heart and mind,
If I get a chance to help someone else
I hope I don't ever forget to be kind.
It's easier to be afraid
To hide with your head in the sand,
It's easier to walk away,
Than to stay when things are unplanned
It's easier to be alone,
Than to put yourself out there,
It's easier to be angry,
Than to accept that life's unfair.
It's easier to sit in sadness,
Than to give happiness a chance,
It's easier to make judgements,
Than to look beyond a first glance.
I know all of this in my head
I wish I could apply them well,
I'll fail, I'll try and try again
Until the day I excel.
What is living but good practice,
To learn to get up when you're down,
Believe that this won't last forever,
That good will always come around.
I'd **** myself if it meant it spared you all the pain,
I'd willingly go crazy if it meant that you would stay sane
I wish I didn't have to make an impossible choice,
I'm trying to handle it with some grace and poise,
I hate that I see your face devoid of a smile,
I know it will remain like this for a while.
I hate that I'm making your dreams disappear,
I hate that I can't predict the future; it's so unclear.
The world refuses to help in any way,
I'm forced to hurt you, to ruin your every day.
If I could ask the universe for just one boon,
It would be for time to fly, so I can be with you, soon.