I am stuck
In a maze of empty corridors
Lined with a thousand mirrors
Distorted and evil
And all staring at me.
When I look into the first mirror,
I do not see myself.
I see a malformed human
Staring back at me.
Ugly.
Fat.
Unlovable.
With blue pools of sadness
That well up
And drip tears of helplessness.
I am scared.
So I run.
But I stop a few mirrors down
Because I see another girl
with bruised skin
And cut cheeks.
She has been beaten.
But by whom?
I am scared.
So I run.
But again I am distracted
By another girl.
She sits alone, naked.
With wrists that are red
And thighs that drip the same.
She has been cut.
But by whom?
I am scared.
So I run.
I want to leave.
But the exit eludes me.
I start to panic;
I don't know what to do.
So I sit down
And cry.
But I hear a voice
Calling out my name.
So I run towards it.
But it's dark.
It's so dark.
Where is this person?
I run past another mirror,
And there is yet another girl
Who looks just like me
But happier.
Prettier.
Loved.
She is the one calling my name.
She wants to help me,
And yet she can't reach me
Through these mirrors I've created
For myself.
I am unreachable.
So I walk away
And, seeing an empty mirror,
I climb in,
And I am transformed into
A malformed self-image of a girl
Who has been beaten by her thoughts
And carved by her own hand.
And I want to go back.
I am scared.
So I try to run.
But I can't.

I am stuck in this hell I've made for myself.

Why do they say ‘suicide is never the answer’?
They never give any other solution, do they?
Just a caution to the wind
A guilt trip to the Internet when you look for methods
If someone put a gun in my hand and told me to defend myself
I’d place the gun to my temple and pull the trigger
If someone told me to stay alive for them
I’d place the gun on the table and do as I was told

******* was he beautiful.
Everything about him was.
For him it came naturally.
He was flawless in everything he does.

******* was he smart.
He seemed to know everything.
Passing every test with an A.
Treated by all the teachers like a king

******* was he kind.
Treating everyone with pure love.
Knowing the struggles of life.
It's like he was an angel from above.

******* was he funny.
Knowing just how to make me smile.
The feeling was amazing.
Just laughing with him for awhile.

His parents loved him dearly.
Knowing they had the perfect son.
It helped him succeed.
While still making sure he had fun.

What a shame this boy seemed to lose himself.
What a sad story to tell.
Because behind that perfect smile.
He was caught in the deepest part of *hell.

I'd say I'm sad, disenchanted,
uninspired, unmotivated,
****** up, beaten,
tired, depressed,
already dead,
hopeless,
but hah.

I know I'm just *pathetic.

The flashbacks are the worst
The thought of the gulps of water and the pills hitting your stomach
Passing out, imagining how it was to be discovered barely breathing
Throw up everywhere, blood dried on your wrists
Bottles scattered, white skin
But worse than that the regret
Not the regret of the action but the regret of the result
Thinking of the pain that would have been avoided if only you stayed in the car far away
So far your unexpected existence has not been justified and you fear it will never be
Just another failure to write on your skin

"Daddy why are you and mommy not married?"

Well sweet heart, ill tell you why.

Mommy and daddy used to date, a very long time ago, and daddy broke her heart, daddy still loved mommy very much and we talked everyday, years passed by and mommy wanted a baby, and knew we would be great parents, but mommy didn't love daddy the way he loved her, but daddy loved mommy so much, he gave her you. Mommy still didn't love daddy and we could never be together,  but she knew id be able to raise the perfect little girl, and here you are princess. Mommy has you, and I'll always have my two favorite girls.

"Okay daddy!"

I wish my writings could get noticed more.
Words bled out of my heart, right to the floor.
Finding someone to relate is so rare,
As I write choking on hopelessness and despair.
Yet knowing this I keep bleeding out,
But curse with this constant doubt.
That these words will never find an end,
And my gouged heart looking to mend.

You say "i love you" to the girl of your dreams;
Even though you sense that it is not all that it seams.


You are battered with the thought that she is not interested in you anymore;
Because something ruined your chances to score.

The feeling of hurt, sorrow, regret and hope come in all in one time;
You still feel like you did some type of crime.

All of a sudden you don't care anymore about him/her anymore;
Because you have found again loves pleasant shore.

Everyday you live like it is your last;
Even though they go by so fast.

You meet your ex and your become friends and that is when you realize what made your relationship end.