I am exhausted of
feeling exhausted.
I am emotionlessly emotional.
I am hopelessly hopeful.
I am sitting still at 1000mph.

History, beaten empty and dry
brings a warning I cannot carry out
And I love you but it’s not enough to hold onto
screaming with no release until
my throat is sore and I have swallowed all our memories
but I am not full.

Dreams are tangled in your hair, shining
from the rims of your glasses
I see myself,
a blessing and a curse I am to keep
stuck in a bottle shattered by truth--
I am awake and I cannot see you when I try
to hear your voice, gravel
under my bear feet but so lovely
like a memory of summer.

You are so plain but I am lit up inside, flickering
like a flame
and its wax is running down.
I won’t love you forever but I’ll try to capture you
in my head
while we are still here, together
and kiss you between your eyes
in a memory that I conceived
but was never born.

point out my shame, I'm to blame
for I give away my heart easily
now I got nothing inside my chest
but negativity

love is a myth, love is an illusion
love in the air creates pollution
I want to stop loving—I have to
cause everything I've ever loved left
just like you

I live to be loved...
So maybe that's why I want to die.

how will i prove
the love that
still pines
for you?

a mixtape
filled with
all the songs
we know
by heart
and sing
at the top
of our lungs

photographs
you took of me
smiling shyly
at the
lens

flowers
that we planted
together
that grew
in every corner
of my garden

ticket stubs
from when i
remember you
were so scared
of heights so
i never let go
of your hand
in mine

an exhibit
of the things
i collected
from all the
places
we have gone
to

unsent letters
that kept
my spilled words
about every
thing
that I
felt about you

myself
with this thing
inside me
too tired and beaten up
to beat
perpetually
but never
failed
to work
helplessly

to those who say
war is a battle fought with weapons and threats
oh how lucky you are
to not know what it's like having a war in your head

I build up the walls
all around
to prevent their words
from bringing me down

to those who say
war is a battle fought with weapons and threats
oh how lucky you are
to not know what it's like having a war in your head

it's all over now
they have gotten in
oh my hopeless head
the demons win

to those who say
war is a battle fought with weapons and threats
oh how lucky you are
to not know what it's like having a war in your head

and waited
and waited.

And slowly,
he melted away with
time,
like how
acid
eats away
the living flesh of
his heart.

I have so much love
to give, but it seems like no
one really wants it.

I lost my heart, to love
I lost my mind, to love
I lost my faith, to love
I lost my hope, to love
I lost my passion, to love
I lost my happiness, to love
I lost my words, to love
I lost my hunger, to love
I lost my wonder, to love
I lost my body, to love
I lost my control, to love
I lost my motivation, to love
I lost my brain, to love
I lost my myself, to love
I lost my life, to love
I lost it all, to love
I lost it all *for you