Take me back to days we both know when
Beautiful words you used to speak
Now a whisper in the wind

Take me back to the times we used to share
Hand in hand as we walked the city streets
Now I reach for phantom skin
Memories held within

Take me back to when forever was you and I
But I guess all good things end
The nightmares settle in
Now I'm wishing for your kiss
To fill my emptiness
To mend my brokeness
And guide me to a future
Where light shines once again

I keep telling myself to do my best and follow my dreams.
Yet lately my mindset has been the complete opposite.
I'm sitting around and achieving nothing.
I've been thinking to myself, What am I doing with my life?
It's like I'm purposely choosing to trap myself in a tiny cage
And if I fail in life I'll  only have myself to blame,
I can't and feel like doing nothing when I'm in this type of state,
And when I hear that I have inspired people with what I say,
I feel fake.
I've gotten used to this sort of feeling and I've finally become comfortable,
I've lost count of the days that I felt this way
It's all become one long stream of consciousness
where everyday feels absolutely the same.
I don't have a routine anymore,
I'm just sleeping, doing nothing and wasting the time away.
I've become the type of person that I used to hate
Feeling completely hopeless,
constantly making the same mistakes again, and again, and again.

I've lost the feeling of purpose.
I'm finding it hard to get myself out of bed in the morning.
I keep distracting myself from fixing the issue.
Never quite been the best at taking responsibility.
I'd rather waste my days doing nothing laying in my bed and
then spend my nights awake, feeling horrible because I can't feel decent.

You have to keep mentally telling yourself that you are worth it,
but every now and again you get tired of telling yourself the same thing.
Your mind just goes blank,
and it becomes super hard to feel productive and happy.
I could pretend that I'm great and happy all the time like some others do,
but truth is, I've never really been a good liar.

So instead I will hide away in my room ashamed to show people my face, too ashamed to socialize.
I'll keep reminding myself that I've achieved nothing these past couple of weeks.
I wish I could get over this phase,
become motivated overnight and start to create.
It's frustrating because my mind won't work that way.
I've become so negative and I'm tired of it,
The only way out is forcing myself to change.

The problem isn't the work I have to do ,
It's me,
I'm constantly cutting myself short.
I underestimate what I can do.
I have literally become my worst enemy.
Yet I'm still not doing anything about it cause I'm too scared to compete against it,
I feel like it's too hard.
Yet if I don't do anything about it I will eventually fall back into this phase,
And once you're back into it it's 10x harder to fight off
and I know that,
Yet here I am doing nothing about this
and when I do inevitably lose all hope
I'll only have myself to thank.
So I'm done treating myself this way.
I'm worth it, and so are you.
Thank you.

She was like none I’ve ever met
Meeting her I would never regret

Her quirks, fishing rods
Reeling me in with ease

When I’m at crowded places
Her silhouette is what I seek

I can’t help but wear a smile
Whenever she’s within a mile

I lack the courage to tell her this
And her image I always miss.

through all this, I've overcome nothing.
with you on my mind but not by my side, and not in my heart where I wish you'd reside
it's all too soon.
too little too late.
I wait for you like a drought awaits a monsoon, and a night time sky awaits a blue moon.
they said you'd be here any day now
but it's been years of tears and hopeless thoughts of you coming back.
it's hopeless...
& you're never coming back.

In front of me?
To my left?
How about my right?
What have I to live for?
When all I do is look
For love and find nothing
I can't remember the last time my help was needed
When I mattered
Little has happened to me
That's the problem
No one loved me
Hated me
Asked for my help
Ive no motivation
To live or to die
For a cause
Or for someone
I need a reason
Anything just one
To keep me going
But at this rate
I will be forgotten
Till I am nothing

i get mad sometimes
though i have no right to be

she doesn't notice the way he feels
and i think
does she not see?
that she is the cause
of his pain?

but none of it is her fault
absolutely none

love is not a choice
it would be far easier
to live in a world where feelings were nonexistent
and love wasn't so significant in our lives

but then the question arises

is a world like that
worth living in?

When I go back
and listen from beginning to end
every song I listened to back then,
I feel so sad.

Remembering all that I did,  
back when I was feeling hopeless.