My life was a tragedy.
Like a train wreck with mounting causalities.

I was on a Ferris-wheel of suffering.
As soon as I hit the top, I simply found my way back to the bottom.

I was the actor, all hopes lost.
Sitting, waiting for help to save the day.
Only my help never came.

My life was a joke, just no one was laughing.
The audience wore mortified expressions, rather than those of joy.

Agony spread like cancer through my veins.
It calcified around my heart and left me broken inside.

No matter how hard I tried to swim, the cinder-blocks were chained tightly to my ankles.

But then...

Then I met you.

Call me a *******, cause I can't stay away.
I'm captured in the pain, the agony of love.
It's gnawing at my heart, and has been since the start.

Call me a sinner, cause I'll never be a saint.
The church has nothing left for me.
You are my religion and you're crawling in my veins.
You surely aren't an angel, at least not the kind with wings.
Still I'll always follow, the broken path you lead.

Call me a hypochondriac, I simply can't resist.
You suffocate me softly when you whisper in my ear.
Now I'm terrified that our first kiss will be my end.
You toy with my emotions, now my heart is caving in.

Our love is like poison.
Tragically, it's sweet.
I can't get enough, and it brings me to my knees.

She asked me to hold her.
I was confused at first, and wanted to ask why.
But then I saw the sadness, the sadness in her eye.
We were dealt different cards, but we both got losing hands.
I took her in my arms, and you know I held her tight.
Until the crack of dawn,
through her darkest night.

I have this horrible habit of not feeling my feelings
I don't know if its because I'm scared or if I even do feel
Maybe in the moment I don't; feel
Maybe those emotions just throw themselves into the ever spinning ball of feelings swirling in the catacombs of my mind
And they just sit and fester

Maybe all this is true:
But where do they go, you ask.
Well its a damning thing it is
That one small, tinny, most insignificant event can release months worth of anger, despair, and fear and hate
The tiniest thing can unveil the truth
The curtains which hides my eyes lifts for maybe one moment
But I already see it and I begin to cry
Because what I see, I don't like
What I see, I hate

So I sit here clamping my teeth so hard they might shatter
Holding my breath so in my throat sobs gather
Worthless tears that don't even matter
I threaten myself, I threaten, my heart
I threaten I'll beat me until my skin parts
Yet, nothing will happen
I'll probably forget the one day that I felt
And I'm ashamed to tell you why
Because what I do is wrong:
I just walk away
I make no changes
I once again feel no more
Why?

Because I'm scared out of my ******* mind
I'm scared, and I can't tell anyone
Because if I do its real
And if its real
Then I'm ******

If dreams came true, I'd be there by your side.
We'd watch our favorite movies while drinking coffee on the couch.
If dreams came true, you would tell me that you're sad.
I would tell you I feel the same.
That everything would be okay, and not to be afraid.
If dreams came true, we'd be the only two adults dancing in the rain.
People would stare, but we wouldn't have time to care.
If dreams came true, I'd be there when you had nightmares.
I'd hold you in my arms and chase the dark away.
If dreams came true, you and I would be a melody, and it'd be my favorite song.