What were we?
A huge mess tied in a bow?
But I loved you so much it hurt
When I had to let you go.

I'd send you a text; a greeting.
You'd reply; a greeting.
We'd talk about a few things; small talk.
We'd casually flirt and enjoy; affection.
I'd revive the conversation; hopefulness.
I'd try my best to keep it flowing; eagerness.
We'd continue to an unmutual conversation; unhealthy.
You'd neglect contributing to the conversation; careless.
I'd restart the process daily; care.

But, you'd never even try to start a conversation let alone try the process I've perfected; speechless.

Why...
                                  I ask myself,
Why can't i be good enough?
       I'm either too quiet or too loud,
too energetic or too dull, lifeless...
        I'm too nice or too mean,
too dramatic or too emotionless, numb...
       I feel everything or i don't feel enough...
                     Why...
     Am i never good enough?
   I love myself yet i despise my existence...
                     Why...
Is it that the only person who thinks I'm
                                                                ­           enough,
    is the person who deserves the world,
                                                          ­           the world i can't provide...
  But maybe he can show me that for once,
                                                           ­                 I am good enough...

Every day, without fail
My heart beats for you, but to no avail
Youve never looked my way, never cared
Always worried about the way other people stare
So I sit in the back of the room
Broken, dying, vying to be with you
The lights are dimming on the outskirts of my vision
Why was I the one given this mission?
I take out my anger and saddness in ways
That honestly no one would be able to name
I cry in bathrooms, pound on walls
Scream in silence, drown them all
All the feelings I felt for you
Died fighting for breath in the pool that is you
So I sit in silence at the back of the room
Numb to it all, unknown to you
Its funny (not really) how emotions work
That as soon as you notice me, ive already been hurt
Your feelings for me are unreceprocated now
Well, it ***** to be you, feel my pain now.

I can plan out a lifetime based on one look,
A glance in my direction,
Though disputed,
Can prompt my imagination.

Our life would be happy,
Without harsh judgement,
You'd hold me close,
And laugh when I made the coffee wrong,
But we'd be happy.

This disputed glance,
Probably aimed at her,
Not the deeply loving girl,
Slightly to the right.

I followed the lines
on my palm
and they never
seem
to make up
their mind
as time
passes
by

a half step back and a quick turn
brings our lips within inches of one another
you lean into me
your soft lips resting against mine
as your hand brushes across my side
landing on the small of my back
and pulling me in
to you
to that moment
everything falls away
nothing else exists
just your body against mine
as our lips playfully dance together