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Wanderer May 2020
Dance like young fool
let the heart rule

no practice, no steps
move from joy

use your soul
lose control
Wanderer Nov 2019
There aren't many days
in which your presence
couldn't improve the quality
but some days
I can feel your absence

As we sit around the dinner table
and talk about our days
I yearn to hear how yours was

While we smoke by the fire
it feels as though
we are missing something

There are moments
that are so deafeningly silent
that they scream your name

It's as though we still expect
to hear your voice
fill in the pauses in conversation

It is always the little moments
the casual gatherings
beer in hand

those are the moments
that you live for
and taught me to appreciate
There are moments when I miss you intensely, when I wish you could be a part of everything going on. I love everything that you add to a group, and our house isn't the same without it. But I don't miss you because I feel like I need you, which is honestly the most healthy thing I have ever felt. In the past I hated being far from the person I was dating and I would wake up and go to sleep every day wishing I was with them and feeling incomplete without them. With you, I would absolutely choose together over apart because I enjoy you but I don't need you. I am loving where we are, having the distance and learning how to take care of myself is crucial now. I like my routine and time alone and it has been a long time since I have had that. And then I can be really excited when I get to spend a few days with you every couple weeks.
Wanderer Sep 2019
The smoke licks my fingertips
as I light the cigar
a fix of nicotine on a bad day
a way to keep the bad thoughts at bay
A long pull fills my mouth
with a bitter taste of artificial grape
A low for me I guess you could call it
A hypocrite I guess you could call me
Wanderer Jul 2019
Her eyes lit up as we drove into the farm
a gorgeous landscape of flowers and horses
a crowd of inviting people
who said they loved her
but hurt her
every day
I could see the frustration
as they told her no
to the simplest of things
because she was female
and watched as her younger male cousin
was always put on a pedestal
for all his "hard work"

This is the place she called home
because although it wasn't perfect
And it wasn't painless
It did hurt less than
The way "mom and dad" did
It didn't cut as deep
As the shards of broken glass
scattered through the kitchen did
It felt like love
compared to living with two
that despised each other
It may not have been everyone's joy
but it was paradise to her
Wanderer Jun 2019
Everytime I lay my head upon my pillow
I am reminded of your smell
The sweet scent that brought me much comfort
It lingers as though you are still there
Pulling me close to you
As we drift into dreams
Version 2: A ***** pillow case, I don't want to wash

When I lay my head upon my pillow
I swear I can smell you
the manly but sweet smell
that has always brought me comfort
but I can't tell if my pillow case is holding onto your scent
or if sleeping reminds me so much of you
that my brain makes it up
Wanderer May 2019
No longer just a living room
the space had transformed
into something more intimate
void of screens
the lovely voices of those who were present
opened up the space to laughter
to sharing and stories
hot tea and biscuits in hand
a smile on my face
and a comfort I had never known before
Wanderer May 2019
I have such disdain for the words "I Love You"
these words have been said a billion times to me
by some who mean it
but by more who don't

they were the words used
by the boy who ***** me
to explain why he had put himself inside me

they were the words muttered
at the end of my parents phone calls
hoping to convince themselves
or maybe others
that they cared for one another

I have said these words to acquaintances
family members I barely know
and even passerby's

But for some reason they are still the only words
that come to mind
when trying to let you know
how you brighten my days
how your smile warms my heart
and how every time I think of you my eyes light up

I love you
but there's so much more than that
I want you to know
there is meaning behind the words
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