To dare is to touch,
touch the hallucination of your presence.
My reverie doesn’t do justice,
to your eyes under a blithe twilight.
My hands run through the air silhouette,
collecting wishes of you in my palms.
They come in handy when writing poems of our love.
I cut through the illusion,
afraid,
I will let you deceive my heart.

A bone in my collar curls up,
your scent tickles my skin.
Catching up with puzzled eyes,
I try to unravel this time,
this moment,
this love that sends me chills.

Why do I smell you here?
In my basement?
I barely heard you unlock.
Sweat trickles down in confusion,
disclosing the hard-held anxiety.
I am surprised,
startled at how weak the air could get.
Almost failing to help me breathe.

I leave my corner,
swaying feebly to the restricted music in my head.
Tapping and twirling into a gamble,
into a bet to lose my sanity.

I let you play me.
Let your scent grow on me.
Falling lightly into your notes,
I almost dare you to love me,
to love me like I am a home.

I sit through the tunes in my head
by the heat of the ablaze night.
Its grotesque fire bellows inside me,
rage envisaged breaking my soul.

Streams of dots,
haphazard connections,
reels of memories burst through the veins.
Reminiscence of perfidy sting in lapses,
hurt every rib,
every gap in the bones.

Ribbons of lies unravel my skin.
I start to burn.
A corner at first,
then all through the back.
Fumes rise in sync with the flames.
I lose a skin here, a patch there.
Smoke choked my barren eyes.

I believed.
I lost.
I am paying through the ashes of mine.

Like tulips of the spring,
burns ornate pores of my dark.
An array of greys and black
to disguise flesh as rainbow smudged by the scars.

Your accidental touch,
my aloof heart,
set up the incantation.
Will you tell?
How do you dissolve smidgens of spill over my skin.

i want him
i want his arms around me
his hands on my hips
his eyes on me
his lips on my lips

i want him
every broken piece of him
i want his body
but im greedy
im selfish
i want him all for myself
i dont want to share

but i need him too
i need his heart more than his hands
i need his hope more than anything
i need him to be here
maybe not mine but still alive
i need him
somehow
some way
i do.

"First of all I wrote this to remind myself in the future, but then realized I should share it:> so that those people who might feel the same would know that they're not alone. Take your time to read it and please no hate, the world should always be beautiful, agree? also, to let people know that being one doesn't mean being alone. enjoy for I have taken up a lot of time to gain courage to post it on public:>>"...

Hey, you must be the future me...or just probably the aged me.
Do you remember this day? one of your good friend's day.
The day you had an open eye about the pyramids of humans.
The denial is there but fear not for it is what you call 'normal'.

You saw how people tend to change for someone, change is fine.
But when I say change... you're having a flashback right now...
again, when I say change it should be always for the better because if not... it's not change, it is just the old world and the old thing you have there. Change is something that builds you not to destroy you, agree? I'm sure you do...because you're still the old you.

The old you that believes in changes, that fights for it. That defends the people that change for the better and despise those who not. The old you who holds the past so dearly yet so ready to let go of the broken memories, because the old you only trust him to make everything beautiful again.

if not, then forgive me for I have change...

Whatever you have realized today won't change its past, but surely made a better future and a better you. For I know you have realized that have one is enough and she's still with you, am I right? those people who made you feel like you were less, don't shout nor be furious...let your success scream for you, let it fight for you, let it be your freedom, but let him finish all the battles. No one nor nothing can top the faith when it comes to your trust in him, that's why promise yourself, me, that when 99.9% of you changes...let the 0.1%  be your faith! for you know he won't let you go!

The pain, the feelings and thoughts you have there...don't be upset because bare a little more and happiness will set.

What I really mean by this note...
you felt like your too different from the others, right?
yet you defended by saying "I know and I've accepted it for a very long time now". Yes, you do accept, yet you feel like you've been trap for a very long time and accepting the fact that they're up there made you free. that's all I mean. Let it go, being cautious is fine, but guilt for the wrong thing can ****. you bared since 7th to 11th, just...just let it go...focus on greater things and wholesome realities.

If they're not like you, always remember you are not like them.
If you can't be with them, be with the people who makes you feel enough. No dramas here, being emotional isn't my thing. Pardon me, if I sounded too dramatic nor emotional...I was just being realistic about life. life isn't life without those, right? K, no more explanation about that, cause the one besides you knows what you mean.

All I wanted to say was be happy for you have lived, be grateful for you have felt, be satisfied for you were blessed. TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY!!!