Never drop kick an alien,
Or they will shoot fudge in your ears,
And nut in your eye.
Then stick a needle in it,
Then stick a probe up your ****** pipes.

Nobody wants those things done to them, so I advise that you don’t ******* the alien that took you from your planet.

Oh **** the E Mother ******* T is at it again,
Stealing cows and ****.
Running the farmers out of business.
What do they need the cows for anyway.
Is their planet running out of milk or something?
Are their women not producing enough ***** milk for baby alien lips or something?
Makes me so mad that I want to drop kick an alien....
But I need to keep it together,
Because I know what they will do to me if I do.

life's constant journey
always tooling.willing.bleeps
precision mapping

I loathe to appear boring
but I am.

Mesmerising reflections
Sordid depths pried
for a sliver of truth.
Geometric shells
Fenestrative awakening
enrapt you non-somnambulant.

Suddenly
I find attraction no longer active.
It must be an affirmation
I’m unsure of what
Perhaps never to know.

Here's some homework howlers,
By hilarious pupil terrors,
"An octopus has eight testicles."
Did I read that with my spectacles?
"Mozart sailed to Vietnam." For how long?
Why is there a clavichord in the Mekong?
"Rome is now in Africa." Do tell,
Didn't you learn map-reading too well?
"Mummy and Daddy's fave place is bed."
Do your parents really want this read?
Are these mud-coloured glasses, or what?
How did I survive teaching this lot?
It's hard to take them too serious,
Homework howlers, hilarious!

Goats are Nature's own
ambulating Demolition Derby
in hilarious miniature

It's quite hilarious
When you say "I love you"
When in fact,
love is a verb
not a noun

©IGMS

I inserted a suppository right after I had been using super glue.
My hand is stuck in my **** and I don't know what I'm going to do.
When I went to the hospital, the doctors and nurses laughed.
They were in hysterics from laughter and they called me daft.
When they laughed, it offended me so I kicked the doctors below the belt.
They kicked me out and blacklisted me because they didn't like how it felt.
Because of my problem, I can't drive a car or ride my bike.
I can't afford a taxi so to get to places, I have to hitchhike.
The drivers also laugh and I have to slap them to make them keep their mouths shut.
It's been three years and I don't think I'll ever be able to get my hand out of my ****.