ah
so this
is what lips
are for

In this day and age, there are standards of learning, not standards of living
We are told you must "live to learn" not learn to live in a world that is dominated by test scores and letter grades
What college you attend and what fraternity you're in
It's keeping up with Jones' and pretending to be someone you're not
to fit in, to win so we stay in disguise
But at the end of the day, it's a thick veil of lies.
We chalk up our life to things people think we should be
But what is it about me that people need to see?
That I'm a daughter...a sister...a warrior
Or I'm a son on the run with ambition in my veins.
We've got so much more to offer than the grades and projects we sustain
So look at me...can you see me through your red pen marked haze that I'm more...I am more than a score

Sun sets on the Golden State;
Street lamps, they illuminate
The dark recesses of my soul,
The darkest parts which I don’t know,

Breaking through the fragile facade,
Through empty prayers to a faithless god,
Awakening my tired soul,
Awakening my aching bones.

Too often I fantasize
Of a youth romanticized
Because I just want to escape
From a reality that I contrive.

I could never achieve this,
The ignorant sense of bliss.
Instead, I spill my blood upon the page
And cry over the Gilded Age.

I wade through a sea of masks
Of broken hearts and broken glass.
I look down at them and see
Friendly faces staring back at me.

We mourn our loss of innocence
And our collective diffidence.
We’re weighed down by our hearts of stone:
Born from chasing dreams that aren’t our own.

Too often we fantasize
Of a youth romanticized
Because we just want to escape
From a reality that we contrive.

We could never achieve this,
The ignorant sense of bliss.
Instead, We spill our blood upon the page
And cry over the Gilded Age.

today in english class,
with my bare legs clenched and crossed almost as tight as I close my eyes when i see you,
i forgot how to breathe all over again,

you picked the part of Brutus while reading Julius Caesar,
the honorable, noble man,
looking me into the eyes like you did when you used to grab my throat,
and then the topic of manipulation came up,

you see, my teacher asked if anyone had gotten away with lying to someone to get another to comply,
you laughed instantly, saying
“i can get anyone to do anything,
i get whatever i want,”

seeing you everyday was hard enough,
you,
my abuser,
my ******,
we were best friends once, before you saw my body as your own,
and i know i am not allowed to complain,
it was my fault,
you did nothing wrong,
i am the reason you act like this i made you like this,

Brutus kills Julius Caesar, a man he loved and was brothers with.
i wonder if you would **** me out of love like that as well,
but then i remember,

you didn’t have the decency enough to love me.

i'm sitting in English class
looking at the others around me
there's two girls in this class
there's nineteen guys in my class
I look at their faces
but only when they are looking away
i cant be seen
observing
watching
it seems creepy
but the thing that's creepy
is that they all have sad eyes
there's no light behind them
what happened to that light
how can it be turned back on
with drugs and alcohol?
because that's what they do
how can they be helped
because they need help

most of my stories
i have no name for
i cant really express
how a title can change the story

its like a person
with an assigned name
and you expect them
to live that name

for instance, Ashley
she is a fun loving blonde
or brunet, who loves to party
she dresses in ripped jeans and crop tops,
that may be a little too short

Or Jessica
who is the meanest ***** in the school
she wears ****-skirts
and sparkly tops,
that always accentuate her chest

the stereotypes that live in highschools
strangle everybody
who fits within them
even if they aren't them

Ashley just wants to be called Ash
and wear baggy T-shirts
and sweatpants

Jessica wants to be called Jess
and go by They/them pronouns

People should be able to fit on
where they want
not where they have to
to survive

A little bit of Confucianism and Buddhism
The worthwhile life of Taoism .

Go with the flow maker Lao,
Communism and Chairman Mao
Stood no chance against the holy prism,
Opened up a deep wide chasm

The way, The path
Just do the math.
All day and all day
Just look at nature and it'll be okay.

Reason and knowledge,
Take the pledge,
Just look at nature and stay away college.

Things you can't comprehend,
Sins to amend and commend,
Just look at nature and you'll find a friend.

Master Lao, the maker of Tao
Finding ones place within this town,
Be one with nature and forget the crown.

Remember the magic of this mystical place,
Right in your head and right in your face.
Yin and Yang,
Walking with a cane.

The End is near,
We got all but haste.
Receive with open arms and a fragrant taste,
A little bit of aloe that's nature's paste.,

All will heal and All will feel
Beneath the tree,
We will see
Beneath the tree,
Just you and me.

Happy 21st birthday

I remember the date of yours every time
And I know it’s not today
Makes it kind of funny
Since you never remember mine
And it’s not today either, don’t worry

I dream about you every so often,
My beautiful birthday queen,
The beauty standard who I hold myself to,
Skinny but imperfect

In my dreams, I feel your hands on my neck
Sometimes a wedding veil or silken glove,
Strangulate me too
Choking me, you’re choking me, I can’t breathe
I can’t breathe around you living either
You throttle me with…. with… with…

Anyways, I hope nothing but the best for you,
You, insufferable *****, you,
I have never felt lonelier than when I stood beside you,
My high school bestie whom I love to bits and pieces,

But happy birthday
You deserve nothing but the best
From me and from everyone else
On this day you have to share with your sister
And a bazillion other people, too
You deserve Vanilla cakes
(Because I know you don’t like chocolate)
And silver rings and beautiful diamond things
(Silver because I know it looks better on you)
A kiss from your smoking hot boyfriend
(The one I’ll no doubt have a crush on *** laude)

And, of course, sincere congratulations from me
Your high school best friend
The girl you left behind
So that you could mack on boys
And had someone to pick up your slack
But in your absence, behind your back,
I became someone new
New and still a little – a lot – naïve
But someone wise enough to know better
Than to tell you *******
On a glittery, twenty-first birthday card

P.S. I hope you like the flowers
And that your real card finds you well
And the fifty dollar note I left for you
In the envelope, an embrace, I never want to give you