How can losing any part of ourselves bring us down to our knees so quickly and with so much force? As if the laws of gravity hold true not only for the tangible, but for the intangible as well.

We seem to believe that "losing" or "lacking" only means that something is taken away from us. We forget that when a part of ourselves is ripped away, more of those parts grow back stronger and heavier. Just as our muscles are torn and repaired, our souls work the same way.

You may think you're lacking-- but in truth, you're getting stronger.

I am unfathomably heavy
Pinned down by the lead filling my body
Numbness seeps into my skin
My vision clouds over and sounds become muffled
My lungs are full of lead
I cease to breathe
It tastes lonely and complete
I am immovable
Dirt cascades across my face
Buried deep where I belong
Down in the burial grounds
Where my crushing weight goes unnoticed

We are all born heartless
That's why as children we can climb high
Off rocks we can fly
For our hearts are so empty
Of all things
But my heart is heavy
Maybe so is yours
Washed up with words like lead weights
Piled with past people like barbells
Filled full with feelings like chains
Tethered we are
Beaten and scarred
Bloodied and marred
Locked up and barred
No longer does the air seem open
Nor do the trees
No longer may we roam
Free as can be

Moving on is hard
When you're weighed
Down by a Heavy Heart

its just a casual contemplation
a simple situation
to put and end to the piercing pain
brought to me by biology
a dead eyed smile
a bright light
a final goodnight
to leave the world
if only for a little while

There are no monsters beneath my bed
I see the monsters outside instead
They peer through the windows in the dark
But inside they never dare to tread.

There are no monsters beneath my bed
All my monsters live in my head
And Those who leave the darkest mark
Are those words that I've said.

There are no monsters beneath my bed
They trap my limbs in heavy lead
And when I upon my path embark
My final hope turns into dread

There are no monsters beneath my bed
I find them here instead

I felt the weight of a million universes on my shoulders and in my head, pounding

Blood rushing to my head and I cannot fathom obtaining any peace until my blood has stopped pumping

Undesirable, inconsolable, insecure, three words to describe my demeanor

Torn from what I wanted , needed, and all I knew, brought to a state of numbness

Walking around like an emotional, emotionless zombie, unable to think speak or feel properly

Heavy heavy heart, what more can you endure when all you've got left is shattered pieces, too shattered to put back together

My eyes fill like a bathtub and my skin tingles with a feeling of remorse

There's a deep pang at the back of my throat, and a sharp stab in the center of my chest, I cannot feel this way .

This is not what it is supposed to be.