I want to write,
     But I can't feel the rhythm,
          This isn't right,
   Cause this isn't living.

The sky is dim and it's midday
Today I will hear others say:
"It is such a depressing day"
Yet I love a sky dark and grey  
A cloud threatening rain
Grants no cause to complain
Wind whispers or rages through trees
I am quieted in the breeze
There's beauty in the quiet, in the stark stillness, in the fierce echoing storm
The sky is in a riot, showing God's brilliance, and beauty in every form

There's a demon in my house.
Nobody knows the route it took to be... but there are theories.

Some believe that it fills the gaps in broken families,
Others that its welcomed in by misfortune and tragedy.


And I?
I think it has been here all along.

At first, its hard to notice the demon is even there.
Once where  joy resided, only a  dull ache is felt.
But before long it spreads until one is beside it.
Next to the demon.
The world begins to fade into a illusionary grey haze.

So
so
slowly.

Infact, by the time you realize its been living with you... in you... its been days.
Your chest is as hollow as the now empty packs and bottles
that you think may solve this sorrow.

But you're wrong.

Once it is let in,
there
is
no
exercising....
this demon named depression.

wouldn’t it be nice if the world were so black and white
then we wouldn’t be riddled in grey mud
trying to figure out what is ultimately “right” or “wrong”
while knowing that (right or wrong) doesn’t exist
not really

our world is filled with
contradictions
lies and truths alike
deceits, some for the sake of loyalty

there is no simple “right” or “wrong”
everything is a little bit of both
whether one is more this than the other
depends on your storyteller, no?

And as I feel your presence
Receding behind me,
Unable to turn around
I freeze
Unable to take a step forward
A step away from you.

And yet you continue to recede
My nonchalant facade
Fading away with you
And I close my eyes
Knowing when I turn around
You'd have disappeared
Leaving darkness in your place,
Sightlessness
Soundlessness...
Lost to a place
Where I can't reach out
And sense your warm memory.

So I don't turn around.
I don't let my emotions flow,
Slowly opening my eyes
To the sight of a grey
Barren world again.

If I pop this little pill I'll be able to get all my work done. Am I opening a door? One I cannot close? Walk with me as we venture through this together.

grey cotton candy
fills the skies
the blue hues
in the rain drops
fill me from within
tainting my mood,
now I just want stare
at the moon
I'm a sad man
filled with madness,
I melt from the light
exposing my darkness
or exposing where
my light stems from