The words I write,
come with no crime.
Tapping away,
in a field of grey.

Imagination,
temptation,
and the need for acceptation.

It is a meditation.
Feeling everything,
letting the words come up
as I'm puking.

The words I write,
help me survive.
Not alone,
forever be known.

Breathe in
Breathe out
Monotone, dull, routine
Get up, dress, work

Flash a smile
Drop a laugh
Don't let anyone
Not one, see

Behind this mask I'm dead
Breathing isn't a sign of life
Not anymore
I move, I work, I talk

But it's robotic
Autopilot
Happiness, joy, fulfillment
Sadness, grief, pain

Gone
Replaced by
Grey

my life is greyscale
yours technicolor.
I pretend to like my movies black and white.


you look at me and see mountains
but under these clothes are holes

you confuse the beams for starlight

there is no starlight
not even moonlight
to complement your sunlight

just reflections of vacant spaces.

I turn the lights off so you don’t notice
that I am more nothing than something
more empty than whole.

I fake it so you stop
before you have enough time to realize
that I am just a ghost.

the breath of life is gone
wonder, awe, all of god’s little blessings
bled out of the holes.

you can try to fix me
but I evanesce faster than you
can sew me up.

I have nothing to offer you
that can be seen, felt, heard.
Touched maybe
but my soul recoils from your outstretched hand.

touch me fast
before I feel
touch me hard
before I fade away.

I was lost before I met you
I did not know where I was going
Needed to meet the right person
To get slow motivation flowing

I was broken, scared, and alone
You came along, made me whole
Took the past pain I felt
Lent comfort to my face and soul

You made the choice to be happy with me
Life has been better since that day
I have a reason to keep pushing forward
When skies are dark, still, and grey.

My world was monochromatic
Full of one basic color scheme
But now it’s full of varying shades
More stunning than anything I’ve ever seen
He brings me a mood of many hues
Never ceasing to put put the mind to ease
Because before him I knew only shades of grey
And now I have more color than I’ll ever need

i am in a haze today. it is cloudy and beautiful outside. it is also pressing down on my chest and i struggle for air. i wore your shirt to bed last night and it helped steady my oxygen supply. i wish you were here to say my name and speak to me in my native tongue to remind who i am and where i've come from. i'm forgetting everything, slowly. recreating yourself is only good when you haven't done it five thousand times over. i just want to be me now. but how do i become me if there is no you? pick me up from the library and walk me to class. hold my hand and tell me that you will stay with me no matter how grey the sky is or how cold my fingers feel.

Memories.


There is an old grey man sitting on the floor,
Looking at his reflection in the mirror.
He thinks to himself: What could have been?
What could I have changed?
To change the past and the things that I've seen?


No man deserves to see, the things we saw.
A collective unit, marching to war.
Thankfully now, I don't recall it all,
Just the men that I had killed.
I saw them all, with that look on their face,
That look that just makes me, feel so ashamed.


They were just kids, the same as us,
All just playing, at being soldiers,
All knowing the seriousness, of it all
And still all of us, were willing to ****,
Or be killed, by another kid with a rifle,
Just like the first one, that I killed.


But here's my best friend, to make me feel better,
Hello, Jack Daniels, I'll just get you a glass.
Ah that's better, I can't think anymore,
I think I'll just change the video and watch something else.


Oh what's this in here, Saving Private Ryan?
Oh, I haven't seen this in a while.
I'll just put it on and pour another whisky
And after this, I'll go to sleep.


Hmm, that's better, time for a drink I think,
Ah good Ol' Jack, always a good drink.
Oh it's six in the morning; I'd better get up,
Think I'll have a drink and then go for a walk.


But first I'll have a drink and see what's on the Telly,
Where's the ice, **** this weather.
Ah good Ol' Jack, let's see what's in the video shall we?
Oh it's that film I put on last night, when I fell asleep.


Saving Private Ryan?  Oh I haven't seen this in a while.
But remembering the lads, always makes me smile.
I'll just put it on and pour another whisky,
Then maybe I'll have a little snooze,
Before I get something to eat.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.