Please forgive me, Star.
I seem to have spammed you with
Notifications.

The quakes on sea beds roar out my name,
My head bow in the crowd in shame,
Insatiable hunger for fortune and fame,
Now desperate desires impossible to tame.

The universe is torn in two before ny eyes,
Imagination and thoughts all filled with lies,
Trusted friends becoming enemies in disguise,
Once a loving heart now becomes cold as ice;

Lord please forgive me cause satan lied,
Send down your angels let them be my guide,
Either heaven or hell has been difficult to decide,
Running around in shame but nowhere to hide;

My deepest confessions is honesty displayed,
I accept the freedom for which you paid,
Bleed upon my dying soul just as you said,
And i will become a child whose life's remade.

You know what the biggest crime in the world
Is to love someone more than they deserve
The punishment for it is nothing but get destroyed by the very same person
Never trust a person so easily neither let go of someone so easily
Forgive your enemies but never forget their names.

-to be human is to sin

you tell me that good people are everywhere
but where are all these good people
when the facts are screaming
"emergency, emergency"
"alert, alert"
when the facts say
that almost every ******* this planet
has at least once in her life
been touched in a way she didn't consent to
the facts say that most ****** predators
are known to the children
fathers;
fathers have ***** their daughters
while mothers cry silently
because the world does not want to hear
the stories under the blanket
the guilt and the shame
the pain.
the pain.

you say there are good people
show me
show me
that boy who gives to charity
his hand rode up my skirt last week
that girl who prays five times a day
she watched as her boyfriend called me a *****

my five year old cousin knows what it's like to be penetrated

i lost my virginity before i got my period

my best friend doesn't want to be touched because she sees her ******'s face in every man

i was blackmailed by a boy who said he wanted to marry me

my mom;
my mom and i have bonded over
what it feels like
to have
a man inside you
who doesn't
doesn't
belong there

what kind of god wants an empty heaven?
because the kind of people on this earth
the filthy **** who carved their names between my thighs
there are too many
there are too many
men who have done
women who have watched
silent observers
silent thieves
murderers
no one says anything
then they pray to god
but their sins
their sins are on my skin
see me
see me as i burn
see me as i burn
because if these repenters
who have lived their lives
hurting others
who say their grace
then stuff their ***** in my face
if these repenters
are who i will find in heaven
then i do not want to go
i do not want to go
to a heaven with them
i do not want to go
to a paradise
that looks a whole lot like hell

but if god
chooses to not forgive these repenters
then heaven will be empty
because we are sinners
we are all sinners
we ask for forgiveness
then do it again

i have lied
i have cheated
i have wished ill upon another

tell me; am i good person?
was he a good person?
when he ***** me then apologized
when he ***** me then prayed
when he ***** me then cried
and said he made a mistake

when he ***** me
said sorry
and did it again.

if he makes it to heaven
i'll take the other train
if he does not
then none of us will
because our devils are too clean
and our angels too *****

i'm not quite sure if i'm looking for repentance or for revenge
i have done wrong and i have been wronged
is there a place for me in heaven?

what kind of god wants an empty heaven?
what kind of god wants a heaven full of sinners?

where is the god that will love me?

where is the god that will forgive me?

Fake love that stretched me cheeks to a ***** too steep and now my lies chaise me in my dreams who can sleep when happiness dictates you nightmares

Over exaggerating idealistic scenarios only to boost my hopes and motivation without any recognition of success for my to suppress who I am

Remorse of lost emotions that I never had the luxury of experiencing. Joy to watched children dance in the light and to the rhythm of laughter, punish me for my lack of interest in an idea so trivial, that only someone who doesn't know pain could accept

Gracious temporary hosts who held me close and told me to try, try again and were my only friends and who saw my end only to never let me go ever again

Individual alone time, lonely songs sang to the wall and the rooftops on my lungs while they are burning beneath me

Various memories infection my body; nerve spasms, flinching, clenching, screaming, shaking, horrific past events in which I had no control over much like my body

Everyone who left leaving only one to rely on, to lean on, to cling on to have my back to which I am lying flat, wind knocked out of me by reality

You've got to take the good with the bad,
smile with the sad,
love what you've got, and remember what you had.
Always forgive, but never forget.
Learn from mistakes, but never regret.

My beloved please do not play with my heart
Do not leave me in this cruel world just alone
Take me along on path and never ever depart
Do not throw stones on me less I weep,moan

If I do not see any message from you I feel gone
I search for you being lunatic just my all around
I see complete darkness your presence make dawn
With you I am in the skies and without on ground

Please be with me and take an eternal embrace
Less I die and my soul remain in search for times
My sweetheart you are my real love and grace
Please be kind and forgive my all sins and crimes

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

Let's be honest here,
On this enlightened day.
Here I stand in fear,
Not exactly sure what I should say.
I stand before you,
Trembling in fright,
My sad reality has come true,
As I keep my composer with all my might.

Look, yes, I make mistakes,
More than most seems,
I know I made your heart ache,
But know it haunts my dreams.
You are my friend,
And this friendship I don't want to end,
Because of my stupidity,
My dishonesty
And certainly my arrogance.

Here I stand before you,
Asking, begging, for forgiveness.
A request, not an order.
A true mess of an offer.
But yet here I still stand,
Holding out my hand,
A gesture that I hope for you to take.
A gesture to mend the broken pieces.
A gesture of a friend.
A gesture I hope for you to take.