Think back to what you said...*

People live in dark realities,
A grim fairy tale of
Hope and heartache.
People always try--
But then again,
People always fail:
Is it better to question your potential,
Or falter in a better place?

Some give in,
Trying to fill the wallowing gap in their chest.
#heart.
Ending up heartless on street corners,
The scams begging for money to
Buy their drugs,
The ones who really need help suffer.
Their first mistake:
Setting out to fail.

Others let it gather,
A dreary storm in their eyes,
Clouding their perception
While every friend turns hostile:
Fiends consulting the enemy.
Let the storm blow over--
Don't give in.

The Sun, He calls to me
And I go to Him with a subtle hesitation
Knowing I’ve been hurt before
(I knew that I’d been hurt before)
But still I run
And fall down before Him
And He kisses my cold white face
And I melt under His hot red heat
And He says He will make me beautiful
And I believe Him
(and I believed Him)
And the longer I stay, the harder it is to leave
He begs of me a few more minutes
And then a few more
And more
And He tells me He loves me
And I love Him back
(and I loved Him back)
And then the time comes when we both must depart
And I wave goodbye
And He tells me to come back soon
And I tell Him I will if He does
But after He is gone
It takes me some time to realize
That I am not the same
(and I am not the same)
Because He has stained me with His crimson mark
Burned me with His good intentions
Blinded by His beauty I allowed my surface to be altered
And the sting on my flesh is a familiar one
Because this is not the first time
This happens to me year after year
And I never learn
Because He looked so innocent
So enticing
         So intoxicating
And He called to me
And I could not refuse
(and I cannot refuse)
But that was the last time
(and this is the last time)

A darkness, the gloaming,
Passes through the hill
Terminating summer
And the remainder of our laughter

Now I halt at the ****** of my tracks—
Awaiting, anticipating, yearning for the best
The best has passed!
Or perhaps was never intended

Not for now, not this fall,
Not ever, at least for me—
Should I accept that?
Or never lapse under the weight

The weight of autumn,
Jubilation evanesced
Apperception of edging expiry
The beginning of absolute rest

A failed romance,
Deteriorated to the end
And leaves you ruminating,
“What could have been…"

Pathetic

The worm pinned beneath the claw of the morning bird,
Doomed,
No brain to realize it's peril,
Just automatic twitching
Back and forth like an equally wretched dog's tail.

The drunk homeless vagabond,
Too filthy for mere soap,
**** fights for supremacy of stench, With feces, blood and *****.
A human stain on society.
Nobody's father,
No one's son.

****.
Pull your skirt a little higher,
Her husband may not have noticed you yet,
Buy that man another round.
Where are your morals?
Lost with your self worth?
And you too stupid to comprehend that your emptiness cannot be filled by the ***** that you swallow.
Wake up wrinkled and alone,
No yoga pose is going to save you from yourself.

Me,
In your eyes when I show weakness,
Cry over veiled insult,
Admit defeat in the face of misery,
Depression.
Well I'll give you that,
What is depression anyway but a weak man's excuse to fail?

Pathetic.

Again, I have failed.

I have failed myself,
I have failed my mother,
I have failed my teachers,
my future, the time.

I ignored what they asked
my responsibilities
I threw in the trash.

It keeps haunting me,
day and night,
the need to run away
from everything
Yet its still hovering above me
and it pains me
its scares me
it kills me

but this time
it won't let me let it go
and cry