Back and forth
And back again,
In and out you go;
There you were,
Now here you are,
No place too close
Nowhere too far,
An endless loop
Of your indecision
Leaves me dizzy
From all this spinning.

I run as fast as I can--
From myself,
From my anxiety,
From my depression,
From the voices,
From the guilt,
From you.
Yet every corner I turn,
There are the feelings--
Of self-deprecation,
Of fear,
Of apathy,
Of frustration,
Of judgement,
Of my heart breaking.
When I finally let go,
There you are
And when you're gone
There come the rest.
I am caught in a web
With more predators than prey,
And I am ripped into pieces
That will never satiate them,
Nor you--especially you.

I can't get away from him today, no matter how hard I try.
Everywhere I go, he seems to be in the same place.
I go to a different area, and he suddenly appears.
I wish I was just imagining it, but he's really there.
As in; the hall, the library, the cafeteria, I can't escape him.
It seems like I can't feel better, without him appearing again.
I hate not wanting to see him, but it just hurts too much.
When I look at him, I don't see the same guy I loved.
All I see is someone who hurt, used, and betrayed my trust.
I wish I could stop worrying about him, but I can't.
And seeing him just makes me feel worse about everything.
All I know is, it's hard trying to forget about him.
Because I can't pretend that he's not here.
I keep seeing him everywhere.

"Everybody's talking at me,
I don't hear a word they're saying,
Only the echoes of my mind,
People stopping, staring,
I can't see their faces,
Only the shadows of their eyes,
I'm going where the sun keeps shining,
Through the pouring rain,
Going where the weather suits my clothes,
Banking off of the northeast winds,
Sailing on a summer breeze
And skipping over the ocean like a stone."

-Harry Nilsson

I'd ask you if it looks real but you're nowhere to be found
     I call your phone
           It rings
   But that's the only ******* sound
       I wonder the man I'd be if you had chose to stick around
             As I'm smoking on these rocks and not the ones thats off the ground
                 The ones that cut deep and not just bare feet
     The kind the police always be searching for with the hounds
        I don't sleep or eat I feel cold in heat
        I can't ******* think unless I'm surrounded by a cloud
      But I start to crack, I'm not safe but claim I've got it on lock
             I was taught how to smoke by the boys up the block
            See they were there in your place and I forgot your face and its to the point the only thing I love is my squad
          I'm done talking to God
          And my dealer won't pick up
          So I keep up the facade my smile is not a mirage and my desert of cracked lips actually budge and the muscles push up and it isn't that hard
          And I'm talking just to myself
          Watching as I grin
          Trying to make a fake into perfection

Everywhere,
there are things that remind me of you

bamboo, chocolate, snuggles

Things so common,
but I always think of you

lemonheads, games, stylus

Things so feasible,
so easy to associate with anyone

art, late nights, dark rooms

Yet…
You make them seem like so much more

In the whispers of my love
In the flapping wings of a dove
In the *** of a child
In the untamed wild
In the lion's roar
In the swinging swords in war
In the scream of the fear
In the laugh of our dear
In the falling drops of rain
In the cry of someone in pain
In the dancing chimes
In the songs and rhymes
In the flow of the breeze
In the dancing leaves of trees
In the light of sun and moon
In the sigh and heartfelt swoon
In the chipping of the birds
In the rhymes waiting to be heard
In the heart and its beat
In the blazing fire's heat
In the lightning's thunder
In everything I wonder
To the earth music belong
Even in the silence, I hear a song
In everywhere I hear the magic
In everywhere I feel the music