life *****
but so do those with
sweet teeth
in the presence of
candy on a stick.

He thought everything was alright
since he never heard her sobs.
So he went on with his life after
a halfhearted apology.
And she went back to bed
filling her favorite pillows
with her silent sorrows.

if i'm not falling i'm flying
if i'm not changing i'm dying

why can i only exist at extremes
instead of living in between?

No poetry today.
No words for the despair.
No calming the fears.
No poetry today.

in her life
there are worlds
full of lies and illusions

in her life
there are moments
where she just wants to press the pause button

when the eyes she used to stare are no longer blue
when the stories she heard are no longer true
she wishes she could undo
everything he put her through

took her long before she could finally breathe
before she could finally eat

then
again
she's ruined

in just a blink
she's trapped
in the middle of time

she thought she left it behind
but it was just in her mind
no matter how much she declined
there she is
intertwined

she thought her life is no longer his
she might need to rethink
she thought she can finally spread her wings

but there she is
trapped in the middle of everything

how strange it all sings
how strange everything leads around
strangely all this is strange
how strange it is now october
and the fact that now is not november and the fact that
now is not september and what is now
there is something and that is strange

how strange it is very all around
how strange everything is very and incomprehensible
and why and why does this circle exist
and why and why am I a hostage in it
did i sing too loudly or at all
very very quietly I really sang
I was too strong man or very
and very weak about what is the reason for all

reason about the reason all around what's and
these all the weirdness of these all sorrows
all the joys of where and why and why now
not december and why now is not february and why
and why am I saying all these words now
because I know that now everything is in the same lane and
that now everything is both yes and no and always

20.10.18

Everything matters
Even the little things