I wish you looked at me, I wish you noticed. See how I'm trying to grow, become strong?
Yes, I might slip sometimes, but does the wish for you to see me make me wrong?

Should I just tell you and admit my truth, finally knowing my place in your life?
I am not ready to know just yet; fear tastes so sweet when you hold the knife.

I know you've noticed the way I smile while we talk and we laugh, sleep in each other's arms.
I know you've heard how fast my heart would beat when you tickle and fight me with your playful charms.

I used to wander; is there more to it? What you gave made me feel wanted and safe.
And I thought feelings would forever linger if I just love, care, and behave.

I know your life dreams are so different from mine. Still, I want to tell you, because I never dared.
I need to release those words from my mind; I wish you asked, I wish you cared.

My love is too powerful to keep inside; not a single second of longing is spared.
If you're not listening, I still need to speak. I wish someone asked, I wish someone cared.

Please let me say those words out loud and clear. Let me keep talking of what love means to me.
All I need now is a familiar soul, someone who will see the meaning of my words.

Please, let's talk, laugh, and cry. Remind me how it feels not to be lonely.
Don't expect riches, castles, or lands. All that I have to give is my love only.

I know I am not a king, not a noble knight. I am not deserving of love to share.
But if you read this, you might understand. Tell me you listen, tell me you care.

i just wanted something normal
something that made life make a little more sense
but since you have no inkling on the meaning
of what peace is
and love seems to be the bane of your existence
insistent on making me suffer you.
my love for you, a redeeming quality
to be a blessing for a curse
each day seems to be worse
with a random sparkling moment
just to hold me hostage longer.
i thought i was stronger
and you seem to brighten when i fail to enlighten;
when i am my vulnerable self.
who hurt you?
because now you are the poster child for why i need to heal.
and theres nothing gracious about breaking:
clawing me down just to prove you're real.

I never write about love.
I just write about what happens after.

Because writing it in black and white
would mean it’s real—
and I’ve never had real, no matter how hard I tried.

And let’s be honest,
I don’t believe it’s real.

You can’t force real,
because real is the little things—
the acts of love.

Like showing up without being asked,
loving without being begged,
standing up for you
in rooms where everyone else sits silent.

It’s the way they make space for all of you,
shining light on the parts the world
would have told you to hide.

I’ve never seen it.
No acts of love.
No one showing up.
No loving without being begged.
No one standing up.
No one making space.
No light shining on all my flaws.

So I don’t write about love.
Because I don’t believe it’s real.

I'm holding onto a makeshift raft                                                          sailing  into a hurricane's wrath                                                            ­             Tossed  around in a sea of emotions                                                         ­ trying  to navigate a turbulent ocean                                                          The  waves crash in mercilessly                                                      ­ choppy  waters, dangerous seas                                                             ­   in  the perils of uncharted territory                                                        ­ drowning in tempestuous energy

If I had to think of one phrase to describe me,
It would be: “I feel…deeply.”
Happy to sad,
Melancholy to glad,
The good days feel amazing,
And the bad days feel…bad.
But I feel…deeply.

Sitting in a room full of people I’ve seen,
Talked with, greeted, and shared some things.
Yet, I still feel like a stranger,
Who wandered somewhere I shouldn’t be.
This lonely feeling,
I feel it…deeply.

Friends who’ve moved on,
Without a second thought,
Leaving me to fend for myself.
“Who needs anyone else?”
I’ll say to myself to muffle my grief,
But I still feel it…deeply.

Helplessness, entrapment,
All fueled by anxiety.
I gnaw at the ropes,
Trying desperately to break free,
With what little I control,
I guess I just go with the flow.
As I weep,
Because I feel…deeply.

Perhaps, I’m too different.
Perhaps, I’m not enough.
Perhaps, I’m just forgettable,
Perhaps, that’s all I ever was.
These fictitious thoughts creep into my reality,
As I feel…deeply.

I wish I were normal,
I wish I fit in,
And I wish I wasn’t abnormal,
But a normal bystander instead.
I know there’s only one of me,
And I should be the best me I can be,
But sometimes, it feels like,
I can’t even be me…right.
This, I feel…deeply.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t think,
Sometimes I wish I were less advanced.
Would it be easier,
Or would it be harder then?
Why does everyone around me seem to function like they’re fine,
While I’m struggling and crumbling on the inside?
Life never said it was going to be fair.
I just wish I didn’t care.
But instead, I drown in an ocean, searching for meaning,
This I feel…deeply.

What am I to do?
What am I to say?
“This is who I am.”
And go on with my day?
Sometimes I hate how I am,
My biggest hater is myself,
And no one else.
Though it’s easier to assume they do.
Even if it’s not the truth.
Sometimes I wonder how my life would be,
If I didn’t feel so…deeply.

I don't know what to call it
unrequited love , maybe
One sided  for sure,
You occupied a space in my heart ,
A drug i couldn't resist ,
A habit forming one.

I longed for your smile ,
Those ocean eyes
Glittering with mischief ,
your stare gave me butterflies
And awoke an extinct part of me

Small details,
like acknowledging my name ,
Made me feel seen ,
Like i mattered .
You opened a gate
Between imagery and realism

I had long nights
Creating our world ,
Where we dominated
And no one else mattered
Yet you had another world -
One i wasn't included in

Still i let you occupy me ,
Even when my mind whispered .
My heart was busy resisting,
And now i doubt
If you even noticed me .

But no_
I will never regret meeting you .
You will always be apart of me ,
Just like a book
I will always refer to .

So this is goodbye ,
From a girl who once felt seen,
Who was ready to give her all ,
Yet was let down .

Sometimes
some people aren't meant to stay .
They are stories left unfinished ,
Those with no final chapters.
Maybe that's what you were

Maybe it's time i choose me
Over us
My dreams over him _
Because i deserve great things .
I always did .

I hate you
Don’t be alarmed
They’re strong words
But what I feel inside me
is unbearable
The truth is, I’m afraid
Afraid to say goodbye
and end up in the arms of another
who might hurt me
Not you—you’re good
But still
you’re hurting me
My heart races
because it knows what it wants
Freedom
Yet I keep it
caged