After  years  of  you  giving me the silent treatment                                                        ­                                          if  no  one  calls  I  think  it's because  of a disagreement                                                     ­                             Because  of  your consistent  lack  of communication                                                    ­                  sometimes  when  I talk, I forget people are listening                                                        ­         Convinced I am never enough or  I'm too  much                                                        ­                                                I overdo for others in hopes of earning their love                                                             ­                                                     Under your  sense of grandiose entitlement                                                      ­                                                      I've  put myself last and under your judgement                                                        ­                                                    With persistent efforts to  disrespect me                                                                                                                          I  over explain and apologize habitually                                          I've  accepted bread crumbs of your affection                                                        ­                                             a love  concocted of toxin and poisonous venom

What if I told you I dreamed too high,
But you always wanted me low?

My head clearly belongs in the clouds
While your face is upside down, in the ground.

My feet on the very edge of the chair.
Too busy in my fabricated daydreams, unaware.

Do I miss you? Not really.
Thanks for all the times you treated me painfully.

If only you could see me now,
I could take you to those clouds.

But I know one day you’ll visit me
Bothered by the disgusting feelings.

I loved when your hands were on me,
But now all I feel is the weight of rope tightening.

I know you only want to talk                                                  because you  know  I'm  going to walk                                                                I  met  your childish silence                                                          ­ with  strength  and defiance                                                         ­  You  thought that I would cave                                                             ­ Stand  back while you misbehaved                                                       ­    Now  that  your  tower moment is here                                                         all  that ego has disappeared                                                      ­    While  you  gathered stones to throw                                                     I  was growing on my own                                                              ­          You  were full of foolish pride                                                trying  to  conquer and divide                                                           ­  You  always knew I dealt in truth                                                           and  that's something you can't do                                                           This  is your consequence                                                      ­                     This  is your tower moment

I’ve seen how fast
A life can pass
Yet I’m too tired for life’s dance
Too worried about the egos
of the worlds cast
And too stressed to pick up the trash of my own little worlds past

min     mal
         i
pr          sm

Whether from arrogance or negligence, I yawn at their stance
Not a chance I’ll advance.

Science tends to disagree - research believes in therapy
As far as claiming it'd make me happy.

        'Have a 30-minute walk each day',  
She dares to say as I continue to pay.
        'You carry trauma from your childhood'
        'Navigate your thoughts and it’ll affect your mood'.

Sorry doctor, I’m lacking modesty -
I seem unable to take you seriously and seeing you hurts violently.
I could easily earn your degree.

Undoubtedly, people will say:
        'How can she expect to be okay?'
        'She's abusing of her sick leave pay'
        'In no way committed to her healing journey'.

To which I’ll roll my eyes at any day.

It's funny how you keep crawling back to me
It's such a pretty and beautiful sight to see
You do know that your obsession feeds our connection?
So at this moment, give me all your attention

Why do you always look like a lost dog?
You look like you can't go nowhere without me
Even as much I throw the log
You seem bewildered without me

You always praise me
Every single bit of me
To the way your gaze lingers on my flesh
To the way my words seem to live rent free in your mind
You always usher me to tell you what my full but empty words mean
Yet, I don't pay you any mind
After all, I did tell you to be in that dog cage, didn't I?

It might be a little narcissistic
Not at all pessimistic
Your words fuel my superiority
And suddenly I'm your number one priority?
💋
Much better!

Worship me and make me your goddess
Be sure to not say anything nasty, or you'll get cursed!
'kay?

I shed the mask I wore so long—
A thousand roles, all played, now gone.
Silence hums where noise once thrived.

No more the need to win or prove.
The mirror cracks; my hands go still.
No shield, no sword—just open skies.

When I let go, the fog withdrew.
Less of “me” made space for “we.”
Love rose where pride and fear once lay.

Old battles fade like distant storms.
The fire within now gently warms.
I become the peace I once feared.

Distraction corrupts you.
As you lack interest.
I am just, noise.
Your ears are cushioned; absorbing a buzz.

Just listen to me, respect me.
Mocking me as I try to be civil.
You belittle me.
And the buzzing stops.

Your head finally turns.
You slapped the fly,
and its juices neatly seat the bench,
and you stare, and you don't care.

I slump, melting.
Clenching my jaw.
You pluck my wings,
and I let you.

My dignity stripped.
Your ego; unrestrained, unrestricted.
I just watch,
as my eyes blurt a river.