Blue Orchid Dec 2018
We keep an abundance of boxes in the back
For the day we decide to leave the life we’ve made
Stumbling towards beginnings
That slitter away from my fingers
Before familiarity is gained
And our hearts ache from the loss
I once asked my mother
Why it was that we chased our on tails
Why it was that we run from customary things
And right in to unfamiliar once
Why we couldn’t stay and belong
While knowing it was the right place for our hearts to settle.
I once asked my mother
Why she never liked my friends
And had me cut ties as soon as possible
I asked her why she never favored any of them
Why she let me be alone with my thoughts
Until the only friends I could make
Where the squared once in my library
I once asked my mother
If what she told me about love was real
‘That it was a figment of an aching mind
Trying to make something more of its existence’
I asked her if I could love the way she loved him
Before he decided we weren’t worth his love anymore
Before his eyes fell on another
Perhaps more beautiful
Conceivably younger and better
Before we started this ludicrous run from our own emotions
Chased by a past that left its mark with ink that stung
I asked her questions that made my chest feel smaller
And its contents bloated
By hope and better things
Inflated to a point of pain and at the same time pleasure
I asked her to give me reasons
For our choices
Why we never chose to be happy
Even after we found happiness
Why we let the elephant grow in our own living room
Until it was chocking the very life out of us
And all she could say was
“Mother knows best.”
III Apr 2018
I've seen the sun,
It's shimmery glow,
And felt it's warmth too,
And yet,
I still swim deeper,
Without knowing why this
Is what I do.
sarah Jan 2018
my emotions pile up and overlap until
i have no idea what i’m feeling or
what i want
a flood of doubt is rushing through my mind
and i can’t let it out
so i’m left drowning, questioning everything
all the decisions i’ve ever made, that i will make
who i am
who am i?
where is my heart
i think it must be split in two in two different places
what else could explain these opposite alienated emotions
being unsure of where your heart lies doesn’t work when
everyone and everything asks for your all
how can i give it all
i   d o n ‘ t   e v e n   h a v e   i t   a l l
Late night stars Sep 2016
The Faster I run
The Slower and slower you walk

The Faster I fall into you
The Slower and slower you drop me

The Faster I call
The Slower and slower you pick up

The Faster I drown
The Slower and slower you jump in

The Faster I sink to the bottom
The Slower and slower you gather me up

I slow down and i'm ready to lay
but you pick up the pace ready to stay

The faster you move on to me
The slower and slower I move on from you
1 am
Delaney Jun 2015
I am drowning
in a pool of my own sorrow,
and it is the worst pain--
the worst death--
that I could have ever imagined.

kp Aug 2014
I knew that loving you was like willingly jumping into a lake with cement blocks tied to my feet,

but I had always wondered what it felt like to drown.
Bitter Heartache Jun 2014
Feeling fail.
A shallow discontentment
only brought about
by the success of others.
Challenges conspire.
Everywhere I look
beauty and joy
My poor body,
weak and restless,
struggling to breathe
under the pressure.
Water surrounds me,
pounding in my ears,
and it is done.

— The End —