I can't breathe, I scream, I scream though not out loud, inside of me I scream, my breath slowly withering. I can't seem to use my brain, or think straight. I want to throw a tantrum, cuss, and fight the world, do all I can do to try to breathe and maybe I'll make it through. Wait! What? Let me see what are these things that makes it so I can't breathe. one of them is math, though it might seem simple it's dreadfully terrifying, can't seem to get it straight... every turn my brain is rhyming. Another, is being told what to do, I want to be good, I want to obey and do it God's way, is it just the fall of Man that makes it this way? Or is it my own Rebellion that makes ME this way? ... the third one is the feeling of being lost, or stuck mentally or physically I can't stand it... it puts me in Hysteria, my mind starts screaming "let me out! let me out of here! I demand you to do what I say! I'm not your captive." Help! Help! I don't want to be this way. I can't breathe, I can't breathe... please

in one sentence alone
you could either destroy my city
or build my home

You came to me like a fairytale,
I held you close; I looked into your eyes,
they were deep and full of soul; chancing fate.
I kissed your neck and shoulders, your belly and your ***,
We took each others bodies and tasted freedom.
~
I couldn't help feeling this was your one and only,
A secret that you'll keep to your self ~ "A happy thought!"
Secure in the knowledge that you were once utterly cherished;
And that you alone would choose martyrdom; rather than embracing me.

Run away, since my anger has no end,
It's your light that has led me through anguish, through hurt and dark,
But your love had you seized - and you easily gave me up.
I'm not to distinguish an enemy from a friend,

I'm not to believe our family can be healed.
Run away, little Sister. I cannot be stopped or ceased,
A beast's the one that always spawns a beast,
Satan's the one who needn't be saved or peeled,

The apple falls not very far from the apple tree.
I remember us, children, we had our faith, our love,
We believed that His aid would descend from the skies above.
Run away, little Sister, since it will never come.

"Da Dramatics"

when I hear I don't do drama..
It makes me..
Pull back my hands..
Cover my face again..
Look away.. shy away..
Because..
No miracles can be performed here today.

If You don't do drama..
See drama may be rolled up in my sleeves.
As I act out my creativities..
Share my masterpieces,, drama may be what bleeds.

Drama in the sense that.. How I color my days..
How I blur out the craziest of ways.
How I finger paint with audio lyrics..
How I try to make sense of dimensional physics.
Confessions and testimonies,
bleeds from my knees.
And if I have to hide so much inside.
Zip my lips...Be ashamed of my slips.
Hide shades of identity.. Blur what bothers me.
Only offer out the candy..
The weather hasn't always been kind to me.
Your telling me there's no place for me.
because there are days times I need to be
as naked as can be.
And I need you to be naked around me.
To Dance naked with me.
Well I'ma need you to be able to take it.
As I can't fake it.
Drama is musically.. parts of my harmony.
Tamed/drama .. You have to be strong enuff cinematically
With ears of christianity
  Embrace me theologically  and love me.
Don't fear the pets I have chained. On leases beside me.
I'm a soldier dramatically.
Drama does not define me.
But It can be calmed made to behave spiritually.

Except the dramatics as you accept my harmony.
SelinaSharday S.A.M 2018