That day has been branded when my world did stop
I experienced new meaning to that word called shock
How that womb through which I was first brought into life
has now been rendered so void, having gone under the knife

While doctors and medicine had been one form of plight
living with cancer had imposed its own fright
So when her will to live seemed to be giving up the fight
my world around me began to look very blight

What words and what feelings can overcome
that moment of emptiness standing under the sun
How naked and shallow does all reality take
when your meaning for life gives you nothing but ache

What reflections would weigh, when my tears started
other than my mother before me, my mother now departed
A soul has been released from our world below
no longer to bring me her smile with her loving hello

If I'm the Doctor,you're the nurse
This surgery couldn't get any worse
Until I find out I'm not a Doctor- or a Miracle worker.
You're so close from pulling the red right out of me
Now you made it blue
Like the artificial coloring dyes
I really can't say goodbye

After running some tests
Injecting needles in your veins
******* blood from you even if it's the only ounce left

He says you're sick
Holding a pen, he prescripts
It's for you to buy, a list of medicines

And so you have to try
You have no choice but to buy
Or else, as per Dr. Quack Quack, you'll die

As you take in
Your wallet's thinning
While the packets of medicines are still stacking

Then another symptom came
And so you have to visit the clinic again
Déjà vu you thought, Dr. Quack Quack greeted you smiling

He says you're sick again
Holding a pen, he prescripts again
It's for you to buy again, a list of medicines

Oblivious to you
He's preparing his checklist too
After traveling to Europe, next stop to Honolulu

Inside me
While you grew and grew
I never knew
Your heart was broken
And that there was one
Where there should’ve been two.

After you were born
The doctor explained
Your lungs wouldn’t last
You were breathing too fast
And growing too slow
Your blood flow was mixed
And you had to be fixed.

So right from the start
Your heart wasn’t whole
But your soul
Was a universe
And your eyes
Were comprised
Of millions of galaxies.
Your body was strong
And your cry was a song.

I named you beloved
And through you, I discovered
For the very first time
I was whole.

Please always remember
You are far more beautiful
Than broken
You are my ultimate inspiration
And I’ll always consider you
My most perfect creation.

I might be dying.
I don't know yet.
The doctors are still deciding
if I will meet Death.

I can feel
all the weird thumps.
I just don't know...
I'm in a slump.

The doctors have done the tests,
but no one knows yet.
Am I the subject of a pest,
or a huge destructive mess?

Stabbed by words so deep you sink and drown in your own blood
because you've cried out all of your tears.
Truth so lost almost impossible to be found
Bleeding away your cares
Is this an expression for two?
and when you speak the truth people wonder,
"Am I speaking to the crazy or the sane side of you?"
They say you need help from a professional.
Does this mean that I need to seek help from someone who has experienced my situation
or Some one who is only qualified to deem me insane with their education
Getting payed to pass judgement on my minds creation
Limiting to a life of medication
You're giving people jobs they are not qualified for
So I fake like I take your pills
And walk out the door
No offense but I don't take poison from people who have never been insane before

Waves ran wild across vibrations of metal
Like a guitar playing under an ocean wave
Carrying the purpose and dream of one man
A piece of metal of a surgery gone wrong
Saved, an outer symbol, the only one
I dreamed about it last night
This man, his piece of metal
As I am a water creature, a fish very true
I picked up the symbol and attached it to a compass
This compass does not move, mixed in place forever
A symbol of his attitude
His direction will not waiver, this is his truth
I handed it back to him as a gift of gratitude
An example he is of strength and determination
And for that I have admiration~

Everywhere I look, there's an emptiness
where you’re supposed to be.
I told the doctors how I see nothing in everything,
so they prescribed pills to help me see.

My room is always so cold
but your breath was so hot.
I told the doctors I still feel it on my neck
so they gave me more pills to make it stop.

I took the pills for years
but they haven’t helped at all
So I stopped the prescriptions
and started my downward fall.

The doctors will never fully understand
that I will always look for you everywhere I go.
Antidepressants and mood stabilizers are making my mind a
bomb, ready to blow.

i'm exhausted
of Rx bottles and diagnostics
of appointments and waiting rooms
confusions and delusions
of crying on the bathroom tile
and losing track of time
inhaling and exhaling just to stay alive

life's a crowded room if you ask me.