Sorry to disappoint
But I'm starting to crack
I took on too much
Now I'm slipping
Tired eyes, tired heart, exhausted mind
I wish not to bother you
With my melodramatic problems
I do not want to be here now
I want to be free
With my poems to keep me company
At this point
I don't think I can promise anything
I'm sorry to disappoint
I'm sorry

There was a time when you could make me fall right back to highschool.
The days of virginity and innocence.
Years between our encounters and you'd always be just beneath my breath.
So juvenile and oblivious to all the ways you'd disappoint.
So attached and forgiving.

I found myself at the end of your plank too many times.
Cannonball at my ankles.
Looking down your blade with the point in my neck.

I'll see you again soon...

I always used to feel.
But now I can't conjure the same devotion.
The image of you has finally muddied and spoiled.

I noticed this transition and felt the change somewhere along the way.
Affirmation that I don't need always live on that plank with my heels hanging off.

I am not the girl who sits by the phone waiting for you to call

I am not the girl who will tell you that she misses you

I am not the girl who will whisper to you how she really feels

I am not the girl that will ask you to come over tonight

I am not the girl you will drape your long arms around

I am not the girl hanging onto your every word

I am the girl you are frustrated with because I am not that girl.

Ooooh baby listen up God made you for me and me for you which became a blessing for us but life keeps getting in the way and when ever we try somehow the plan is always rearrange and I know how much you need me and it breaks my heart believe me baby it seems like forever that I waited for you in a world of disappointment and lonely people but one thing is true but we gotta go our own way and I really don't want to leave it all behind but we get our hopes up and we watch them fall every time and it's so hard to watch it slowly fade away and he said what about us? What about everything we been through? What about trust? And that I know he never wanted to hurt me and I said I know and I'm going to miss you so much that it's going to hurt me more than it hurts you and baby it's something about you that makes me want to stay and work it out.

Self centered woman
you're so wrong about
so many things I can't
even begin to reach
for half of my dreams
because of your words
that lead me to believe
I've failed you- maybe
I'm not what you were
wanting so badly..
but telling me lies and
staying away from him
will not change the way
that I feel about you-
disappointed.

One
Pretty and kind
Startlingly considerate
But
He is afraid

Two
Athletic and funny
Strikingly aware
But
He is beloved

Three
Purposeful and hardworking
Peculiarly tolerating
But
He is away

This Colorado song
Means nothing without
You here.
I'd give back
Every mountain
Just to hold you near.

I may be silly
And my head may be
In the clouds,
But I feel I'm
Lost in a crowd
Without you around.

This Colorado sky
Seems pointless
Without your song,
And smiling at
Every sunrise
Suddenly feels so wrong.

But I'm sure I'll forget you;
You'll be a memory
From long ago.
Like the time I spent
On a train
Breezing through Colorado.

You bounce about in peoples faces
Like some kind of advertisement
Flicking your hair about
And beaming through resentment
You are far too pathetic to be considered
An adult or even a responsible creature
You pile makeup high on your lips
The deemed favourite feature
You throw yourself at every man woman and being
And smother them in compliments
They'd never return
In hope that you are everything
They shouldn't be seeing
You could never love again
You are not worthy of the kisses you steal
You cry at night and cut so much
Disappointment is your favourite meal
Please please save yourself
Stop desperately seeking our approval