I was danglin' my feet off the edge of that pretty throne
called Childhood..
swinging up and down and all aroun'
twistin, sometimes just dangling my feet, twin tin'...

and all the while, My pappies were standing by the picnic table,
talking about how sad it was
that they ******* a man.. ruined his life in fact..
and well, after all , thats just how it's gotta Be
it was accident and all... sort of

and I heard 'em telling a lie in fact!!  a Whole Lie about this guy!!
an wasn't even nothin' that took place.. Nothin!!
and not one of 'um.. with enough integrity to say anything

so I sat there swinging.. thinking 'bout it all...
then,
I heard a man come up and say "problem solved ...he done killed himself..."

and it was then, that I saw the LIFE leave their bodies
everyone of them..
except ONE.....

lifted up like smoke
just left em...
knowing what they'd done
lied, hated.. ruined a person, took away his Name...his  hope..

left 'em, with all the children unfinished..
not one son grown up yet

So I asked that One... what are gonna do?

and I Saw him Look... and SEE
the legacy of his Life
standing out like a Vision of the Grand Canyon
Pristine like....

and then suddenly, there was rivers  inky Blackness flown' like crazy...
running thru the hollows
running,
like a River of unstoppable Magnitude
cutting through Rock like it was Nothin'

creating a whole new World of UNDERSTANDING.....

and he turned to me and said...
I'm gonna make it Right
For your Pappy...

and He did.
He saved my Life.
He fixed my breathing...

Dying alone is the secret of life.
It’s what everyone does but no one realizes.
Gather together your thoughts and dreams one last time.
Nothing known and nothing unknown of death.
Infinite wishes of dreams not found.
Thankful for the dreams you were able to make true.
Y**ou die alone after a life of dreams created with lovers and friends.

Sometimes I feel a sadness
So deep it hurts to breathe
When life slips to madness
And puts you on your knees

No god walks beside me
No king or country calls
No man is bound to duty
No cause is worth the fall

I'll walk with dignity
Right into an open grave
I'll take death with impunity
I'd rather die than be a slave

Dear you.
You have become old,
you can make your own choices,
and no one will be there to stop you.
You have become old
and you have learnt a lot from life.

You have met a lot of people,
different hearts and characters,
and some that you loved a lot,
surely stabbed you at the back.

Some that you believed would never be away from you
were the first to proof what betryal was.
You learnt to love, care and be tolerant.

You learnt how to hate
and dislike,
you took examples from your childhood
and carried them to adolescence,
you vowed never to be like your father
and up until today you are still not like him.

You learnt how to carry you self well in public,
while standing up for yourself.
You led almost every group discussion
and you were always the up-front
person in class,
you forever said your words
and they stuck loud and clear into their hearts.

You became a rebel,
by not doing what the majority did.
You have kept your varginity up until this day,
and no form of drug has ever been diguested into you system.

You stood up against what you knew was wrong,
and you forever made things straight,
you didnt care whatever it took,
even being hated was never at any chance going to stand in your way.

You promiced yourself to be true to your own being,
you kept your diginty,
you left a smile on faces of those who felt secure around you.
You never lost confidence
and you didnt care what people thought about you.

You learnt to love,
accept,
apologise,
and forgive,
and up until this day you have forgave even that sharped knife that cut too deep.

Dear you i wrote this counting down to those few days left before you become a young adult.
I am proud of how you fought through all those trails.
You faced it all,
and no daughts have ever stood in your way.

Yours loving,
most caring,
the only comforter,
the only one that understands you.
The only one to never live your side,
the one that has always felt all the pain when you got hurt.

Yours loving friend...

MYSELF

She would not show that she was afraid,
But being and feeling alone was to much to face,
Though everyone said she was so strong,
What they didn't know was that she could barely carry on.
But she knew she would be okay, so she didn't let it get in her way,
Sometimes it all gets a little too much,
But you have to realize that soon the fog will clear up,
And you don't have to be afraid,
Because we're all the same,
And we know that sometimes,
It gets a little too much.

Some of us are older
And we remember a time
When being less than rich
Was not considered a crime
And dealt with Congressionally
By huge measures of stealth
Designed to take away rights
And relieve us of any wealth.

Some of us are older
And owning a home was not
Just a memory, and also
Was not just an empty lot
Where a house once stood
Before the owner got behind
And the bank ignored their pleas
As if they were all blind.

Some of us are older
And remember banks as friends
Who helped us with loans
Where good credit could begin.
We recall the days we could
Send our kids to university
And not saddle them with debt
That condemned them to poverty.

Some of us are older
And we remember the beat cop
Did more toward protection than
Murdering people at traffic stops.
We remember being told as kids
If you are in trouble find a cop
And old enough to have seen
The time that all began to stop.

Some of us are older
And we don’t recall seniors freezing,
Eating dog food alone in flats
And sitting in emergency rooms, wheezing
Because they can’t afford insurance
Because premiums were so high
And the insurance companies
Preferred that they just die.

Some of us are older
And we remember a country here
Where Christianity did not mean
Anti-black, anti-poor and anti-queer.
We remember you had to go
Down south to find hateful Christians
And it living life with dignity
Was not out of the question.

Sitting there homeless on the street
Staring at all the passing feet
You gave me time out of your day
While many choose to look away.
As many, heads bowed, rushed on by
You stopped and looked me in the eye
Offering your hand without fear
Where most won't come anywhere near.
We spoke for a while which was nice
Reminding me I had a voice
You wanted to know how I fared
I knew you genuinely cared
You gave me help, a coin or two
For that I will always thank you.
And then alas you had to go
But there is something you should know;
What you did while talking to me
Was help restore my dignity,
Making me feel I have value,
And though homeless I matter too.

How awesome is your name throughout the earth and your majesty is far beyond  the wonder of the earth and the heavens far above. It is exalted by all creation, even from the mouths of newborns. You have fashioned praise in defense against evil and chaos and render them powerless. I look to the heavens to marvel at your handiwork. The sun, the moon, the stars that you alone, by a word, have set in place. How is it that one as great and awesome as you would notice us, to care, and love us? But in all our frailty and mortality you have created us to be like you, a little lower than the angels. You gave us glory and honor. You have us power and authority to rule over what you have fashioned. You gave us dominion over the birds in the sky, the fish in the sea, and the beasts of the field. You have given us all of this. How awesome, how great, is your name Oh Lord My God throughout all the earth!

Lord, we exalt and we praise your name through all the earth. How great how marvelous are the works you have made. You have lifted us up from our smallness and weakness to be like you, to be close to you. You have given us power, authority, and dominion over your creation. Help us to be good stewards to take care of and nurture all of creation and all life. We are too prone to turn our thoughts to the evil one and we don't always protect and respect this gift as we ought. Forgive us Lord, look with love and compassion upon your beloved, and lead us back to yourself once more. Amen.

---

what is it makes a person
great in this sad world?
where there's such mediocrety
it is a precious pearl

is it that they have money?
that they have accrued
a trillion dollar bank account?
does this make a person good?

perhaps they have a famous face
or well regarded name
maybe they play basketball
and have a winning team

is it artistic talent?
was Vincent van Gogh lauded?
in his painful lifetime
was this man applauded?

perhaps they are as Edison
and have a brilliant mind
but Edison used Tessla
to him he was unkind

this is what I think
makes a man or woman great
that they give life their ALL
that they do not faint

if you sweep the street
and make it clean and bright
If you are an educator
and bring poor children light
if you are a poet
on a humble poetry site
it is forgiving others
not having to be right!
if you are a boxer
and don't give up the fight

this is what is greatness
it's not playing a part
it is truly living

with your entire HEART.


soulsurvivor
(C) 8/31/2015

Always fighting,
From the inside,
Breaking the walls,
Of his former pride,

The scattered remains,
Washed by the rain,
Fading all hope,
Of easing his pain,

Searching the puddles,
Through autummal leaves,
Scratching the floor,
For broken beliefs,

Brushing the grain,
From trembling hand,
Mixed with dirt,
And goldless sand,

He crawls away..

Leaving his dignity,
And all that he gained,
In the gutterless hole,
For a moment of fame.