every time
someone
comes around
I fall
even when
I know
it will never
work out

every time
someone
wants me
it's too difficult
there's always
a distance
between us
yet I fall

I try to be the best I can-
Accepting change
and letting go.

I try to be the best I can-
By not picking flowers
to let them grow.

I try to be the best I can-
And that’s why when someone
says to walk away from you,

It seems so easy-
Because it’s the right thing
and my mind knows it too.

It seems so easy-
But the pain immobilizes me
into the same **** cycle.

-I deserve better

to do the right thing for
the wrong reason or

to do the wrong thing for
the right one

loving you
has made me think
"should love
be this difficult?"

It’s been a while
I thought I was happy
I am happy, but something still holds on
Panicking, sweating and embarrassed
I don’t like you but I miss you sometimes
I will not forget the terrible things you did and still do
You broke me and I will not forgive you
In a glance, I see the happy and beautiful person I fell in low with
On the other side
It hurts to see you like that
On deep water, and I don’t know you anymore
I’m nothing to you, just a stranger

oh how I wish, how I wish!
To turn back in time, twelve years ago
To meet me, a beautiful ten years old
With mother holding out two shirts
One is green, the other blue
Oh how I wish, how I wish!
To have to make that difficult choice
oh how I wish, how I wish!
For my choice to be as simple as colorful shirts
Yet here I am, at twenty two
With choices that have become much worse
One will make me despise myself
The other will cost me a year,
Either one will bring no benefit
Cause none is blue, none is green.

i am.
like an old porcelain doll
cracked.
i don't want to be dropped
I'll shatter,
pieces all over the floor.
on a shelf i sit
next to others sitting pretty
in dresses and makeup
looking like people they aren't.
i am quiet but honest
because i need protecting.
i know where i've been recently
i've been covered in dust
sitting alone
in a room with no one to hold me.
pushing myself off the shelf,
allowing the cracks to move
across my
body.

Dont come near me
I am toxic to consume
Dangerous to let go.
Difficult to measure
How venomous I can be.
I live Entangle within me.
My life dipped in poison
Running all over my vein.
Would make you only numb