I had built my confidence out of fragility
It was like a sandcastle, so beautiful and bold

I almost believed in it; I was almost convinced
That this confidence will endure the strongest of tides

But then and with the first wave of reality
The sands moved under the castle that was swallowed by the shore.

And denial swallowed my presence along with the storms of insecurity and fear ...

For Some It Seems Perception ... LEANS ...  
Toward THOSE Dreams of ... " FANTASIES " ...  

But TRAGICALLY The CATASTROPHE ...  
Is Perception ISN'T Better Than ... REALITY ... !!!
In FACT Thoughts Like These NEED Some CLARITY ... !!!  
  
Perceptive Brains NEED To ... TAKE THE STRAIN ... !!!!!  
And DEAL With The REAL Rather Than Leave The Keel ...  
UneVenLY Balanced And ... PAINFULLY Challenged ... !!!  
  
By This ... What I Mean ...  
IS ... " Living The Dream " ...  
AIN'T ALL That It ... " SEEMS " ...  
  
Sometimes Within Life You HAVE To FACE Trials ...  
That REALLY ... AREN'T That Nice ... !!!!!  
  
NO TIME For DENIAL Or ... " Jeremy Kyle " ... !!!!!!!!!!!!  
THAT Line ... Makes Me Smile ... !!!  
  
What's Up With THAT SHOW ... ?!?  
Perception FULL BLOWN WITHOUT The ... " Green Mile " ...  
  
NOBODY Can Know Another Mans' WOES ... !!!  
Perception Is Something ... Reality BLOWS ... !!!!  
  
When Comfort Zones Go And FALSEHOODS Unfold ..................  
Perceptions of People ... Make Some Turn To EVIL ... !!!  
  
"He ain't no bad guy, he don't know the game !  
We'll make him feel like, he's sweeter than cane !"  
  
See ... " Kindness For Weakness " ...  
Can Leave People ... TEETHLESS ... !!!
  
It's ALL A Deception This FAITH in ... " Perception " ...  
  
"He's got to sell drugs, just look at his mug,  
and look at his hair, it makes me feel scared !"  
  
See Perception's A LAIR Where Cats Should BEWARE ... !!!  
Cos' Reality BITES Just Like Those ... BED MITES ... !!!  
  
Affecting Your Sleep When Thoughts Start To ... "creep" ...  
INTO YOUR CONSCIENCE Because of PURE NONSENSE ... !!?!!  
  
Like ACTS of Deceit That Leads Some To ... "CHEAT" ...  
And Treat Their Beliefs Like Leaves Blown On Streets ...  
  
THROWN Here And There In FACT ... EVERYWHERE ...  
As If What They KNOW Just ... CANNOT Be So ... !?!  
  
Now THAT DON'T Add Up ... Perception And TRUST ...  
TRUST What You KNOW ... NOT What Is On SHOW ... !!!!!  
  
THE HYPE's Been DEFINED ...  
PERCEIVE ... What You Like ... !!!  
  
I Deal In What's FACT NOT Fantasy Acts ... !!!!!  
  
It Seems That Most Minds PERCEIVE What They Like ...  
Rather Than Walk The Path Where DARK Finds The Light ... !!!  
  
Perception Will ALWAYS PREVAIL In These Types ...  
Who Just CANNOT Face ... The Darkest of Times ... !!!!!  
  
Because They THEN SEE What REALITY Feeds ... !!!!!  
SEEDS And SEAMS That Sometimes Seem ...  
As If THE DREAM ... AIN'T Quite So Clean ... !!!!!  
  
But Truth Be Told As Time ... U N F O L D S . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  
  
It Is Just What It ... NEEDS To Be ... !!!!!  
FILLED With ... Vagaries of Scenes ...  
  
Scenes of MORE Than ... PETTY Wars ...  
Scenes of PEACE ... And YES BEAUTY ...  
And EVEN Scenes of .... UNITY ....  
  
Which ALL EMBRACE ... " REALITY " ... !!!  
  
But Reality's SEAMS AREN'T ALL Like These ... !!!  
It's Balance and TRUTH That ... In MY VIEW ...  
SHOULD Be USED ... To School The Confused ... !!!!!  
  
Cos There Are A Few Who'd Rather CHOOSE ...  
Perception OVER ... What Is TRUE ... ?!?  
  
So ....
Is Perception BETTER Than ... " Reality " ...  
These Days I Can SEE ...
How To Some It Can Seem That It May Just Be ... ?!?  
  
I Guess That's The LESSON That Leaves MANY STRESSING ...  
The Ideas of INCEPTION ... That Minds Be ACCEPTING ...  
  
So Here's My LAST QUESTION ...  
Is It All A Deception That's NEEDING CORRECTION ... ?!?  
  
Or NOW An ... INFECTION ...  
That NEEDS To STOP Spreading ...  
Peoples' ... " CONCEPTIONS " ...  
  
Of Life Through ...  
  
..... " Perception " ......

Hush we’re not talking about it
We have nothing to say
No we have nothing to share now
Nothing can help anyway
We buried it deep you can’t find it
And we won’t let anything slip
I can’t even try to explain how
But I’ll try to give you a tip
Just walk away, what you don’t know
Can’t hurt you or anyone here
We smothered emotion completely
So now there is nothing to fear.

I could easily be addicted

EASILY be addicted.

I'm easily addicted.

or am I easily addictive?

or addictivly easy.

I'm easy?... me?

am I addictively easy?

easily an addict?

absolutely...not me!

I mustn't be.

YOU are the one addicted to me.

The vicarious visage of life
Hidden behind masks.
A broken mask
Means a broken man.

|content warning in notes|

i never met the little one
they flushed away that night
a fleeting dreamt up fantasy
miscarried out of sight.

i never even thought not once
a fate where they survived
but all i think about them now
is that fleeting dreamt up night.

i never met the little one
whose name i wouldn't hear
for losing more than fantasy
was too dangerous a fear.

"Yo, for my anger settle,
Man give me a treble !    
Wait, i've got to mingle      
So, give me a single    
in fact, i'll take a double    
cos' this may start trouble !"    
    
All These DOUBLE STANDARDS ...    
Are Getting Me ANGERED ... !!!!    
      
From Lawrence To Walker ...    
To ... Christopher Alder ...  
      
It Seems Some English People ...    
CAN'T Deal With The Evil .. !!!    
That LURKS In Their House ... !!!    
When They Get ... FOUND OUT ... !!!!!!!    
      
We Blacks Should SHUT MOUTHS And NOT Speak About ...    
The Way We Get Treated In Some English Towns ... !!!!    
      
Or Speak of Our LOSSES Because of White Bosses ...    
Who've Got EVERY RIGHT ... !?!    
To DISMISS Our Plight of Fighting For Lives ...    
When Police SHINE THEIR LIGHTS ... !!!!!    
      
Or KEEP Us ..."In The Dark" ... ?    
About .... MONKEY CHANTS .... !!!    
    
While Black Soldiers DIE On Police Station Floors ... !!!    
They'd Rather Deny How We're Treated Like ****** ... !!!    
    
AND ... Left On ALL FOURS ...    
While THEY Have A LAUGH In Stations And Courts ... !!!!!    
      
The Standards They Have DON'T Add Up Like Math ... !?!    
They'd Rather NOT HEAR About The .... " Veneers " ...    
Behind Cover Ups That ... EXPOSES STUFF ...    
      
About Just How LOW Their Standards Can Go ... !!!!!    
Excuses EXCUSES And YES ... MORE EXCUSES ... !!!?!!!    
Are What They Provide To Cover Their LOOSENESS ... !!!    
      
"All people do wrong !"  
    
Is Their NEW ... " HOT SONG " ... !!!  
      
ALL THIS While ... " Trayvons' " ...    
Are LOST Due To Shots From ... Zimmerman Bods' ... !!!!!!!!!!!!    
      
"Of course we should *****' !    
Let's erase those chapters !"    
      
See I'm Down With The Man ...    
....... " Lilian Thuram " ......    
      
So Take The Stance THAT ...  
DOUBLE STANDARDS Land In The Laps of CLANS ...    
Who Stand Next To Racists In Various Places ... !!!!!!    
      
But WON'T Get In The Faces ...    
of Those Who Spread HATRED ... !!?!!    
      
I Wonder Sometimes Whether They Recognise ...    
Or Take Time To THINK ... About ANYTHING ......    
BEYOND .................................... Their Kin .... ?!!!?    
      
It's CLEAR Most DON'T ... !!!!!    
And WON'T Rock The Boat ...    
When Within Their Folk ...    
      
They Hear Subtle Jokes ...    
That EXPOSE Attitudes With Racist Styled Views ... !!!!!    
      
How Many Make FEUDS Within Their Own Crews ... ?    
It Seems There Aren't Many Who TRULY Are READY ...    
To REALLY Say Something They'd Rather Do NOTHING ... !!!  
      
And Be YES ... COMPLICIT ...    
With Those Who ARE ... RACIST ... !!!!!  
      
But Are QUICK To Run Lines ...      
And Wanna Start Fights With Blacks Who AREN'T SHY ...    
To Speak On Their Crimes And Bring Them To LIGHT ... !!!!!    
      
The Question Is .... WHY .... ???    
      
Their Standards Seem ....... " DOUBLED " ... !?!    
When Their Feathers Get ... " RUFFLED " ... !!!!    
      
It's CLEAR They Get ... " TROUBLED " ... !!!    
And Just ... WILL NOT BE HUMBLED ...    
      
I've Said It Before ... I'll Say It AGAIN ... !!!    
      
It's Like Mos' Def' Said ...    
      
"When they do it well, It's seen as success !    
When we do it well, It's seen as SUSPECT !"    
      
But Who Are ... " SUSPECT " ... ?!?    
When Their Standards Are CHECKED ... !?!  
  
It's Time To INSPECT And Let ME Cut The Deck ... !!!    
I Ain't From Wu Tang But Know About KLANS ...    
And IGNORANT Gangs Who STILL Take The Stance ...      
      
That ...      
      
Immigrants Cause Their Country's Downfall ... !!!  
      
So Let's DOUBLE CHECK And Get This CORRECT ...    
When They Move Around Across DIFFERENT Towns ...    
      
On YES ... FOREIGN Grounds ...    
      
Does Their Migration ... ?    
Or ......... IMMIGRATION ...    
Make For ... BETTER Nations ... ?!?    
When How They Get Stationed ...    
Seems To Bear ... NO RELATION ... ?!?    
To ... Living In SQUALOR ... ?!?    
And BEGGING For DOLLARS ...    
Or BEGGING For POUNDS ... !?!    
      
That's REALLY NOT HOW They Seem To Get Down ... !?!    
Do They FEAR POLICE When They Walk The Streets ... ?    
Upon FOREIGN Shores Or Live Like The ... POOR ... ?!?    
      
Their Standards STAY HIGH ... !!!    
Wherever They .......... " LIE " ...........    
Of Course I Meant ... " LAY " ... !!!    
      
But In The ... U.K.      
Immigrants AREN'T OKAY ... !!!    
And Should YES .......................................... PLAY AWAY .......    
      
UNLESS They Will Play In Ways That Display ....    
A Wish To CONFORM And NOT Kick Up A Storm ... !!!    
When How They Are Treated Is ... RACISM Born ... !!!!!!!!!!    
      
I DOUBLE UP My Standards So That They Stay HIGH ... !!!    
And WILL NOT Have HANDLERS Decide How I Ride .... !!!    
      
And DON'T KEEP ******* Types ...    
Standing .... By My Side ... !!!    
    
And DON'T Hide Behind Lies ...    
Or ....... IGNORANT Pride ... !!!!!!!!    
      
Cos' It's Now CLEAR TO ME ... !!!    
Some FORGET Their Manners ...    
And Seem To Be HAMPERED ... ?!?    
      
When It Comes To Them SEEING ...    
      
How They ... "HOLD" ...    
      
.... " DOUBLE STANDARDS " ....

Afraid,
afraid to speak my mind.
Afraid to tell you the truth in fear of you getting defensive and rude.
So I let you trample over me with your gas lighting and ****** words, I start to believe what your saying even though I know its lies. Your always right and i'm wrong, so how could I know right from wrong?
Oh, that's right! I've been telling myself the truth, while you've been living in denial your whole life. But, I'm just a silly little kid.
All that matters is your feelings, never mine. The last thing you called me still rings in my ears "Abusive", "Toxic", "Narcissistic"..... I never once told you any of the rude things I wanted to call you, because you already knew what you are. Look in the mirror and repeat those same words to yourself they suit you better.
I know i'm none of those mother.

You Know It's Funny To Me How Some People Be ...
It's Like HYPOCRISY ... DEFINES Their Breed ... !!!

Like White Girls QUICK To Run Their Lips ...
About Racists ... Who They Sleep With ... !?!

I've Met A Few Who Thought They'd Use ...
The CLASSIC RUSE of TRYING To PROVE ...
They HATE Racist Crews ... !!!!!

They Seem To Think That Talk They Bring ...
Will Make Me Feel They ... KNOW The Deal ... !?!

Why Oh Why Do These Girls TRY ...
When Racism Lies Between Their Thighs ...
And In Their Minds When ***** They LIKE ...
Are ... NOT LIKE Mikes' ... !!!!!

I LIKE That Line Because It's Design ...
Proves That My Mind Is NOT Inclined ...
To Fall For Words That Have NO WORTH ... !!!!

Are You Taking Note Girls ... !?!
Girls of ALL TYPES OH YES That's RIGHT ... !!!
You FAIR Skinned Women Need To Take Note TOO ... !!!
From Caste Systems To ... Light Skinned Crews ... !!!

These Attitudes Are Just NOT GOOD ... !!!
What Makes You Think ... Dark Skin's A SIN ..... !?!

Da BLACKER Da' Berry Da SWEETER The Juice ... !!!
Quick Shout To Alfonso ... I'm Feeling Your Tune ... !!!
That Line Was HEAVY ... Like ***** That We Use ... !!!!!

Now White Girls Are Thinking ...

... " I'm hearing that's true !?! " ...

Well Girls Listen Up ...
This Racism Stuff You Now Need To DROP...
Just Like Those G-Strings For ***** of ... Dark Skin ... !!!

So Take The ... " BIG PLUNGE " ... !!!!!
And You Might Have FUN ... ?!?

But Only Do This ...
When Your Racism's DONE ... !!!!!

The Type That You ... "Hide" ...
Because .... " DEEP Inside " ....

The Thing That You FEAR ... !!!
Is ... This Line RIGHT HERE ... !!!
When Things Are ... UNCOVERED ...

" ***** ****** LOVER !!! "

From Maybe Your Brother ... !!!
Or Maybe ... Your Mother ... !!!!

Or Maybe Your Friends Which Clearly Suggests ...
You CHOOSE To Accept Their Racist Comments ... ?!?

See Wordplay Like THIS Is NOT JUST ... " A Myth " ... !!!
There Are LOTS OF CHICKS Who FEAR The BLACKLIST ... !!!!!!

So STICK To The Zone Where You Feel At Home ... !!!
Face Up To The Person You ACTUALLY ARE ... !!!!
And Keep Your FAKE Sermons And Liberal Cards ....
Where They BELONG Right Next To Your Thong ... !!!

The War's NO EXCUSE To Hold Racist Views ...
Neither's HIS - Story ... Because It's OLD News ... !!!

UNLIKE The NEW SCHOOL Who Happily Cool ...
And Take The ABUSE ... From IGNORANT Crews ...

When They Find A ****** Who's Rich Like Hilfiger ... !!!!
It's Clear These Girls USE ... Professional Moves ... !!!!!

Like ... Paid For Girls DO ... !!!
Take Time Think It Through ..............

Meantime ... " Here's Some News ! " ...

Yes Ladies It's TRUE ... !!!
There Are SOME Black Dudes ...
Who You ... SHOULD NOT Choose ... !!!!!

In Truth ... Quite A FEW ... !!!
But Don't Get It Confused ... ?!?

There Are Some White Boys ...
Who ... You Should AVOID .... !!!!!  

NO MAN Is Immune From Having ISSUES ... !!!!!
People Are People DON'T Let FEAR Deceive You ... !!!

FEAR's NOT A Thing To Be Nurturing ... !!!

See It's FUNNY To Me What Started This Piece ...
It Stems From A Party I Was At Recently ...

A Party of Saffas' Kiwis And Aussies ...
The FINEST Young Lady ...
QUICKLY Spoke To Me About Her Beliefs ...
She Was Doing A Degree In ..... " Psychology " .....      

Then She Started Speaking About .... " Racist Themes " ....
Because Racist Words Had CLEARLY Been Heard ...
From Men Clearly SCARED When We Had Got There .....

I Told Her To ... " Chill " ...
While She Played With My Hair ... !!!
But When THE TRUTH Spilled ...

Her MAN It Was CLEAR ...
Was An IGNORANT One Who EXPOSED HIS FEAR ... !!!

When She Started To ***' ...
Cos' Her ***** Got WET Just From Touching My Head ... !!!!!

It's Clear She Is STUCK In A Mental Prison ...
From Which She WON'T Walk Even With Her BIG TALK ... !!!

She's One of The Subjects of This Simple Piece ...
Who's Helped Me  Express How Girlies Like These ...
Can Be So Naive ... And DENY Honesty ...

When Thoughts That They Play With ....
BETRAY Who They ... " LAY WITH " ...

MAN ... All I Can Say Is ...

..... " It's Funny To Me !?! " .....

Ya Know ...
The System REALLY Is A LOT of Things ... !!!

A ... " House of Cards " ...
That Are ... CLEARLY MARKED ... !!!

Because Systemic FARCE ...
Seems To Be UNIVERSAL In This World of Ours ... !!?!!

I've Now Seen HOW ...
Systemic MALFUNCTION Is Linked To CORRUPTION ... !!!
From Those Who Use ... TRUNCHEON ...
To Meat That's Called ... LUNCHEON ...

NEITHER Seem To Be STRUCTURED ...
To Do More Than ... PUNCTURE ...
And RUPTURE Heart Function ... !!!!!

SYSTEMIC Instruction ...
Is USED Like ... BLOOD SUCTION ... !?!

VAMPIRIC Breeds Whose Systemic NEEDS ...
FFED OFF The People So Do EMBRACE EVIL ... !!!

LEECHES With Speeches ...
Whose Words Seem To Deal In ...
HYPOCRISY ... CONSTANTLY ... !?!

Their Philosophies ... HONESTLY ...
NEED A .... " COLOSTOMY " .... !!!!!!!!!!!

Because **** Retention Seems To Be The Direction ...
Systemic INFECTIONS ... Are CURRENTLY Heading ... !!!!!!!

Talk That Is FARCE That They CLAIM To Be SMART ...
KICKS **** Like An *** Who's NOT Had Some Grass ...
To CALM DOWN Their MOOD So DOESN'T Move Cool ... !!!

The System Is SCHOOLED ...
In Breeding NEW FOOLS ... !!!

Bernie Mac' Said it BEST ... !!!

IGNORANT Heads Are Now WALKING DEAD ... !!!
But YET Somehow EXPECT To Get Some RESPECT ...
From A System HELL BENT On Leaving Them SPENT ...
With NO FORCE To Use When The System Makes Moves ...

To Give Them ... HARD LABOUR ...
WITHOUT A ....... " Light Sabre " ......... !!!?!!!

Entertainment TOO ...
Systemically ... " Prunes " ...
The TRUTH To POLLUTE ...
The Minds of Our YOUTH And Some Elders Too ... !!!

From Music To Film The System is CHILLED ...
When It Comes To ... EXPOSURE ...
of Art That Is POTENT Like Cancer To Smokers ... !!!

They Deal In ... " DISCLOSURE " ...
But Somehow These P.O.T.U.S. DON'T Seem To Serve NOTICE ...

They Just Deal In ... " QUOTAS " ...
Like ... " Roger Moore Lotus " ... !!!

SPIES Who DENY The Masses GOOD Lives ... !!!
Because THEY FLY HIGH While Poor Folks Survive ... !!!!

The System ... DOES LIE ...
I Think You Will ... FIND ... !!!
And Turns A ... "BLIND EYE" ...

To Those Who They Ply ...
With Trades FIT For SLAVES ... !!!
Who NOW ... DON'T Wear Chains ... !!!

So ... LOOK At Your Life ...
Does The System SUPPLY ...
YOU With The Freedoms ...
of Those With ... SILK Ties ... ?!!!?

CORPORATE Types ...
Whose SLAVERY Lies ...
In MONEY Plantations ... !!!

Do You Get What I'm SAYING ... !?!

Now I'm NO Anarchist ... !!!
But The System NOW IS ...
BROKE With NO FIX ... ?!?

NEW AGE Genesis ...

Gay Couples Raise Kids As Transgenders WIN ...
Awards And APPLAUSE For Being ... REAL WOMEN ... ?!?

Errrrrr ... Something NEEDS FIXING ... !!!

So Now It Seems WOMEN ...
Face ... Systemic TRIMMING ... !?!

When Men Can Make CLAIMS ...
To Plaudits And Fame And EVEN ACCEPTANCE ...
Because They CHANGE Names And Dress Like A Dame ... !?!

I HOPE FEMINISTS  ARE Looking At ... THIS ... !!!
Instead of COMPLAINING About CHAUVINISTS ...

The System ENLISTS ... CONFUSION To SPLIT ...
GOOD SENSE From ................... LOGIC ...
If It FILLS The Pockets of GREED Driven LIARS ...
Who Are NOT ... " Good Friars " ... !!!!!

They're MORE LIKE Deniers of TRUTH And RIGHTS ...
UNLESS They're INDULGENT In What Is REPUGNANT ...
To Minds NOW Resigned To ... "FALLING IN LINE" ... !!!!!!!
Because They DON'T Want To Be .................. OSTRACIZED ... !!!

For THINKING And SPEAKING ...
In Ways NOT CONFINED .............................................

Because of The FEAR of ... SYSTEMIC Ears ...
CLAIMING Their Statements To Be ... " ANTIQUATED " ... !!!!!!
These People Are FATED To FIND Themselves BATED ...
Like WORMS On A Line Because They're Inclined ...

... To BLEAT Just Like SHEEP ... !!!!

When SYSTEMIC Sheepdogs Do MORE Than Just Creep ... !!!
It Seems That These Peeps' Are ... Mentally WEAK ... !!!

And ONE DAY Will SEE That FREEDOM of SPEECH ...
Should ALWAYS Run FREE .........................................................

And NOT Be ... "IMPRISONED"
Cos' ... "System RESTRICTIONS" ...
May ONE DAY Well REACH ...
A Time Where Our LEADERS ...

CANNOT Be ... " IMPEACHED " ... !!!

From Racists To Sexists To MONEY Indexes ...
And NOW YES It Seems To ... ****** COMPLEXES ... !?!

It's CLEAR That ...  " The System " ...
Stems From FLAWED beginnings ... !!!!!

So THINK What You WILL ...
But THINK About ... THIS ... !!!

When You CHECK How We Live ...
What Do You Now Think ... ?

... " The System Really Is ?!? " ...