What would I do if you wanted this to end?
I would smile. I would hug you. I would offer you my reassurance.
Then I would leave you there to melt off into a puddle made entirely of the mess of me, sliding around in up and down directions scattered and strown like the pieces of my heart.
I was swimming in a new headspace when you jumped in with three words. I hope you realize soon they weren't true. Did your mother never tell you not to dive into the shallow end? I guess not. You're so used to leaping into what's shallow you don't even know you deserve better. But, what is really sad is they don't know either.
I didn't. But now I do.
I could easily be addicted
EASILY be addicted.
I'm easily addicted.
or am I easily addictive?
or addictivly easy.
I'm easy?... me?
am I addictively easy?
easily an addict?
I mustn't be.
YOU are the one addicted to me.
over and over i told him my love was not for his keeping.
he held on to hope so strong.
last night we kissed for hours.
then i had to tell him
that those kisses, that feeling, last night, was the last time.
Uneasy and numb are the hand and the lighter. They dance together before the fire, not thinking of destruction, only enjoying corruption. once a wildfire spilt into the wilderness, and the spark still lingers day after day — a stale burning of understanding. My need to be needed, and his wildfire life burnt the bushes down; we watched the ashes subside. This is what our togetherness looked like — uncovering all of the figures hidden in the shadows. They would chase him day by day round and round his tortured mind. He in the shadows and I in the light. Running and jumping, shouting, “this way!” He failed to hear. Darkness is all too loud in his forest. He turns his face knowingly, careful not to look at the flames. I chose patience in that race. He needed a steady hand, a voice who knew how to call upon the light. But how long was it until the pressure suffocated my sunbeam strides? The fire may be over but now as ashes drift closer and closer still to my face… covering my body in the ash-filled darkness and distancing me from his shadow.
when i get nervous i cannot eat.
this is eating me alive.
it's like a lustful liqour night.
like cool cigarettes.
like gunpowder waiting to jump the bullet.
it's like me and you.