Tortured eyes were your burden now wicked storms linger and the rattle snakes charm isn't so appealing as his venom no longer does course within your veins .

Can you battle alone as I stand silent witness?
Does that entice as well as repulse ?

Are we the maggots of a long since expired corpse .
Will your paradise collapse to unveil nothing more than the delusions we conspired to know together my dear.

Take a number and wait for this stay of execution you've died already within my thoughts .

The funeral was held within the confines of this room are lust left nothing to hold but the empty shell and hollow words .

******* and die !!!.

The bitterness only serves to mask.the truth we knew so loNo as we stood together blood in palm .

No visions may intrude upon my silence .

You once knew the pain that was love cross to bare.
Never beg sympathy when you requested the death of this existence .


You are nothing and me something far less .

So shall the door remain closed

You were a mother who was both special and divine.
If you hadn't died, today you would've turned sixty-nine.
I would give anything if you were still here.
Everybody loved you because you were a dear.

You died over four years ago and it was the worst thing I've ever been through.
When they said you'd die, I felt helpless because there was nothing I could do.
The day before you died, "I Love You" were the three words that I said.
When I saw you lying motionless, it was sad because I knew you were dead.

The doctors couldn't save you after you became ill.
It took two years for this heart of mine to start to heal.
I still miss you and I have something to say.
I'll always love you Mom, Happy Birthday.

Rembrandt, you maniac!
While other guys were down at the local tavern,
drinking and playing cards,
-- or off visiting Paris --,
you were in the studio.
Long after your students had left,
there you were, slaving away.

Did your family get sick of posing?

Others painted us as we seem
-- a bit better-looking, I suppose. . . .
You painted us as we are:
proud, sorrowful, hopeful, uncertain.

Where we'd seen only ugliness you found beauty.

The Bible? You made it human:
We felt Christ's pain! Magdalene's astonishment.

You were foolish with your money,
failed to pay your debts.
We forgive you.

You were stubborn, mean, obsessed.
You loved us
only when you were painting us.
We forgive you.

You worked on your own paintings
instead of ones which might have sold at higher prices,
ones which might have paid your debts.
We forgive you.
Because your art is so incomparably beautiful
we forgive you.

I know just where I'm going
And what I have to do
I’ve looked into alternatives
And discovered what is true.

I've got my mind made up
I'm in possession of the facts
I recognize the pitfalls
And how confusion acts.

There is a higher road
And I am going to take it.
I am going to change my course
And I am not going to fake it.
I’m going to speak my mind
If I am ever really asked.
I will tell the honest truth
That will train me for the task.

It took a very long time
For me to get myself here.
I had to stiffen my resolve
And face up to my fears.

I had to choose between
Pretty lies and hard reality.
I had to let illusion go;
Let truth be the best for me.

I’ll take the higher road
And I am going to take it.
I now have changed my course
And I refuse to fake it.
I’ll welcome those people
Who love me who I have become.
I will tell the honest truth
Let that be my rule of thumb.

Lyrics just aren't hitting
Like they should
Everything I've been doing
Just hasn't been that good
I'm losing faith
Too busy chasing girls
Putting dreams in the fire to burn
Why I try and find love only to get burned
When will I ever learn
I should put these dreams first
Just keep letting lines fly out the window
Like I'll remember that even though I don't
Thought I was killing it
Truth is no ones feeling this
And I've lost the connection
I once had, feel disconnected
It's all going bad

This is all I've ever wanted
And I keep on letting it go
Took my eye off the ball
And now I'm letting myself down
Keep trying to figure my life out
And I keep on falling into the same old traps
And when everything felt right
It just collapsed

I'm losing every line
That was in my mind
Thought everything I wanted
Was in my sight
Now I see that it's not
I've got work to do
Finally feel like I've got something to prove

Not gonna let another line
Just slip through the cracks
I want them to take notice
I want them to see the flame is still there
See I'm still striving for greatness
Come to far to turn back now
And if they don't take notice that's alright
I'll find something that will capture the mind
I have and I can
Sometimes I wonder if anyone understands
The things I'm going through
And the proof is in the words
that I write
This is the story of my life
Within the lines that I write
If you want to know me
It's right in front of your eyes
Always throwing my heart out on the line

This is all I've ever wanted
And I keep on letting it go
Took my eye off the ball
And now I'm letting myself down
Keep trying to figure my life out
And I keep on falling into the same old traps
And when everything felt right
It just collapsed

I'm losing every line
That was in my mind
Thought everything I wanted
Was in my sight
Now I see that it's not
I've got work to do
Finally feel like I've got something to prove

It's in these songs
That's where I belong
It's in the sentences
My emotions lie
It's in the way I write
It brings out the thoughts of my mind
It's the power it brings
It's the inspiration it gives
That makes it so special to me
It's the way it can change somebodies life
It's the way it always changes mine
It's the way it can make me see things in a positive light
The time it's always been mine
I'm grasping on, yeah ready to fly
Aim high, will you come along with me for the ride

This is all I've ever wanted
And I keep on letting it go
Took my eye off the ball
And now I'm letting myself down
Keep trying to figure my life out
And I keep on falling into the same old traps
And when everything felt right
It just collapsed

I'm losing every line
That was in my mind
Thought everything I wanted
Was in my sight
Now I see that it's not
I've got work to do
Finally feel like I've got something to prove

©2017 Written By Benji James

There's a lot of illustration left in these pages
The confessions I confess have become contagious
Here's a little more of my story untold
We all wait patiently for it to all unfold
I was the one left out in the cold
Don't like my lyrics find somebody else,
To pull off of your reading shelf.

©2017 Written By Benji James