You are my ginseng

another ingredient in my antidote:
this conjuring of awakenings and borrowed wisdom that I brew at night

In the cauldron I keep under the bed
next to the mug with your name

No one knows about it
except for you, me and whatever spirits may inhabit the room,

you loom
over me when … naught but a shadow befriends me

You see these sorrows of mine have me speaking in past tongues
back to times so historic, I need to be at the present with you at a time so euphoric

If only you could feel in a moment
what you make me feel daily
could your body even contain the glee?

You’d need 2 or 3 clones


AS I’ve said, you are my ginseng

a treatment prescribed to me by Karma herself
because the beatings and betrayals I’ve endured
ensured that my reward would be a love that made every nanosecond worth it

And I will make sure to take a dose

every

day

you

let

me.

Addicted,
to the art I create,
I know I should go out,
but would rather stay in,

on pace to become a legend,
already are even though I’m still livin’,
it’s interesting when you witness your self,
in all the glory of your own bestowed blessings,

no priest but lots of confessions,
no niece but lots of relations,
no family tree no fresh air to breathe,
but lots of friends that’re all refreshing,

and speaking,
of them,
I should probably be out,
being sociable,

but I can’t pull myself away from these words,
as I write them out of me compulsively,
acting like it matters at all,
like maybe these words will help change our society,

because right now,
it all feels fckt up,
either we’re regretting Last Night’s ending,
or we’re too anxious and awkward to touch,

what the fck,

would rather not curse,
but it’s hard to hold back the verses when it hurts,
so bad sometimes I’d rather leave this place I’m in,
but I don’t because suicide is worse than any day on this earth,

so no matter what I do,
I don’t **** myself,
so no matter what you do,
don’t **** yourself,

please,
we need us here,
the most beautiful souls always seem to leave the soonest,
and that’s honestly a shame my dear,

so instead of picking up the gun,
pick up the pen,
instead of picking up the pills,
pick up a mic and set a trend,

switch your addictions up,
go from giving in to giving a fck,
see we’re all addicted it’s just a matter of what to,
some are addicted to hate other’s are addicted to love,

addicted,
to the art I create,
I know I should go out,
but would rather stay in,

on pace to become a legend,
already are even though I’m still livin’,
it’s interesting when you witness your self,
in all the glory of your own bestowed blessings…

∆ LaLux ∆

Venice, CA.
October 10th, 2018

I once was lost

Through superman’s cape….I flew

Crashed Down….Overwhelming weight
A heavy Cost…Placing too much
on emotion’s plate.

Saving The world….Never Myself.
Guilt then flooded  my once clear mind…

I left my once colorful heart
Upon a dusty and barren shelf.

The views in the mirror was opposites of myself.

I threw down the cape..I am human once again.
Wanting release from this jail

lost and locked away …

This place was where the real me had been.


Peace in my mind…A real me emerged.

Flying to meet the fate…hope’s light.
Electric Lighted freedom….Strong Wisdom

My true destiny ..I’m flying to

A future in the world…it is now bright.

I was the childlike girl next door for him.

He was a gentleman and the crush of almost all the neighbours.

He never spoke too much so I was never a good listener.

For him I never mattered so much.

But I, like all other neighbours, had a crush on him.

His body never got my focus, but his writings were.

Day by day I fell in love with his unspoken words.

On a rainy day I wanted to express my love,

As because it was his favourite season after all.

Yes, he loved monsoon a lot.

Many neighbours had asked him once, 

Why he love monsoon so much?

He never spoke too much, as I have mentioned above.

But he said he will narrate it on a rainy day.

When I went and knocked his door, 

His roommate said he had went upstairs.

Greeting him a smiley bye, I went to meet my guy.

Love for him or for his words, I was confused a lot.

But I had already started calling him as my guy.

Silly or stupid or again childlike girl, what he will address me now?

I was wondering and riding towards him.

He was sitting near the terrace door and was writing something.

Hey, hi, Writing some poems I guess Mr.... 

I was silent for a while.

It didn't bother me anytime, but I realised,

I do not know his name.

***! what a great lover I am,

Without knowing his name I had fallen in love with him.

My heart corrected me this time.

You have fallen in love with his writings and unspoken words and not with him.

I smiled and said to my heart,

May be I have fallen in love with his writings and unspoken words, 

But the love for him is pure and real,

And I believe the love for him is also devine.

My conversations with my heart was broken by his touch.

Seeing me lost in my own world,

He had given me a **** on my shoulder and said,

I am a writer so I want to be known by that.

He may have wanted to say something more.

I truly like a bad listener stopped him and said,

Shakespeare had once said,

"What's in a name!" 

And being a lover of your writing, 

I too want to say, 

In name there is no fame 

Because fame is there where creativity and innovation resides.

He actually smiled and kissed my forehead,

And then took me to the terrace and said,

When I had come,

The place was new, people were new,

But when I saw you, I felt something not new.

I do not knew by your name but your smile was very much known.

Your smile was like the sunshine which I knew from a time immemorial.

Then were you spoke to me for the first time,

Your words were like the breeze which inspires me to write.

I used to notice when you read my poems after coming home.

Your comments after reading my poems everyday,

Was the best gift for everytime.

And you thought you never mattered so much!

I was happy that you understood my writings more than I had expressed in words.

I am not worried about the answer, I may get now,

But after knowing about your favourite season, 

Monsoon became my favourite too.

Without any fear, I want to confess that, 

I have fallen in love with the childlike girl who stays nextdoor.

Whatever be your answer,

Just say it keeping the raindrops as our witnesses.

Drenched in rain but my tears were real.

I felt like Monsoon had gifted the best rain that day.

Without any confusion, I hugged my guy.

Many days, months and years had passed since then.

Then what! 

He continued with his Writings and unspoken words.

He now goes for world tours,
To spread his unspoken words.

And I?

Being his better half, accompany him everywhere.

I am indebted,
to her like a samurai,
that’s why she is my girl,
and I am her guy,

she is my Mermaid,
and I am her slave,
so I always come second,
because she is first place,

at worst case,
I knew she’d get me with the right hook,
because I’m a sucker for good words,
almost as much as I’m a sucker for good looks,

I took,
the bait hook line and sinker **** it,
she got me with the right hook,
even though she’s left handed,

we take nothing for granted,
I give her the ground where I’m standing,
total opposites that’s why we fit together,
every moment spontaneous no planning,

see existence exists in every instant,
an instance of this is the existential bliss,
that her and I have when we unite,
and our unity is sealed with a kiss,

like a rose I suppose,
which is a reference,
Seal, kiss, rose,
now do you get it,

see there are similarities in my similes,
and metamorphosis in my metaphors,
and no I’m not **** about my analogies,
or allergic to verses so there’s always more in store,

topic always hot like that shop at the mall,
that’s us when we’re on fire like a phoenix,
see she saved me after I’d been crucified and burned,
not by Romans but by romance so I owe her my soul like Jesus,

I mean this,

she made spoken art light up from my broken heart of darkness,
broke apart then lit the spark so call us Spontaneous Combustion,
because when we’re together no matter whatever everything’s better,
and we light up the sky like lightening bolts see she’s where I put my trust in,

never rusting,

her mom died so on Mother’s Day we went to the beach,
where she protected me from myself and I protected her from the wind,
see we lived life grateful for every moment,
because we all know we’re all gonna go we just don’t know when,

well one day you’ll be gone and your love will be gone,
because we all get lost and then get gone like the wind,
see this is real love no counterfeit,
this is both generous and genuine all real no pretend,

when,
with here I feel found,
my lullaby for restless nights,
is the heart in her chest and the sound it makes when it pounds,

I am,

indebted,
to her like a samurai,
that’s why she is my girl,
and I am her guy…

∆ LaLux ∆

free book available worldwide here:
www.scribd.com/document/367036005

Since you came into my life
It was the first time I set my eyes on you,
  it felt like love at first sight.
I knew then that my dreams had come true,
  my feeling was so very right.

Since then i've been constantly thinking of you,
  with warm thoughts that put a smile on my face.
Some of them seeming very real,
  it makes my heart begin to race.

Your voice, when you talk, the way you walk,
  I think you are so very fine.
Your every ways make my heart soar,
  and sends chills up and down my spine.

I look deep into your beautiful eyes,
  to feel something I never felt before.
This feeling, and then I see you smile,
  it just makes my heart melt.

The wonderful feeling of your touch,
  when we were hand in hand.
It makes me smile and slightly laugh,
  now do you understand?

I will treasure all the times we've had,
  and the ones that are to be.
For us, I wonder what the future has to bring,
  I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Being with you, my prayers have been answered,
  I found all I'm looking for.
You are all i'll ever need,
  I couldn't ask for anything more.

Everything you gave to him
you can call right back at whim.
Regardless of physical closeness
a summoned soul returns to her hostess.
Some sections sullied if abandoned
can bleed blackness where they landed.
If a cleansing seems worthwhile
you can try another style.
The soul’s appendices when spent
regenerate with love’s intent.
Hues of blue that softly scatter
soon can spectrum when we matter.
Keep on crying to dry your well;
keep on praying to bind your spell.

I tried to tell you
how I feel
you said,
"That can't be real,
You're my friend
That's the way it is
Besides I really love him."
He played you
and you broke down
Girl, I told you
he would ******* around.
You don't believe a word I say
but it ***** how he left you this way.

You got in deep
You got hurt
You keep going back
girl, you don't learn
I told you "I love you."
But it doesn't work.

Just another day, another boy
He played you, like a toy.
Broke your heart, then ran away
look how you are the very next day
played you like a fool
Girl, I bet you feel used
I come around to cheer you up
You thank me with a hug.

You got in deep
You got hurt
You keep going back
girl, you don't learn
I told you "I love you."
But it doesn't work.

Another boy again?
I've tried to be there
Yeah be your friend
You're on your own
My heart was out on the line
this whole time
Can't chase you around
Don't need to see you
keep getting hurt
You told me, "you think he is the one."
He gave you some great times
Now you've been left on your own again.

You got in deep
You got hurt
You keep going back
girl, you don't learn
I told you "I love you."
But it doesn't work.

You came to me the very next day
You asked
"Why does everyone keep leaving me?"
I looked deep into your eyes
looked at the ground and just sighed
I had no answers, cuz you're on my mind
I think to myself, how can they do things like this
to a girl like you.
It's so hard to push you away
because you come back with that beautiful face
And I can't help but capture a glimpse of your grace
You know when you're with me I'll keep you safe.

You got in deep
You got hurt
You keep going back
girl, you don't learn
I told you "I love you."
But it doesn't work.

You found another boy
You think his the one
I'm on my own again
But I know the truth
you'll come running back one day
But the thing that hurts the most
I miss you every day that you're gone
There is nothing I can say
To stop you getting hurt
But I'll be their girl when you call.
I won't let you go alone through the fall
When you need a friend
I'll pick you up again
I just hope you know
You've got a real friend
that is never letting you go...oh

You got in deep
You got hurt
You keep going back
girl, you don't learn
I told you "I love you."
But it doesn't work.

I am your best friend
Best friends stay until the end
I'll dry your eyes when you cry
Kiss, caress and hold you tight
Maybe we can be together someday
But for now your best friend I shall remain.

©2018 Written By Benji James