the lamp
is a street away

i can see it
through the pouring rain

with every droplet
opens my imagination

the smell is rich
of regrettable decisions

the screen is a safety
from the rain to me

maybe if i just took it down
the history would shine through

the lamp goes out
another shameful mistake

the lamp
is two streets away

Even the best laid plans go wrong,
The unexpected comes along.
Before you know it, suddenly,
You are in new territory.

When that happens what do you do?
Do you give up or see it through?
'Tis a decision you must make...
To give up or a risk to take.

You may decide to take a chance,
To fly by the seat of your pants,
You might stick with it, come what may,
Just let the chips fall where they may.

Or choose to play it safe you may,
Retreat to fight another day,
Decide the risk is just too great
With too much left to chance, to fate.

Perhaps it is a hunch, your gut,
The weighing up of ifs and buts
That helps you reach a decision
That which for you is the right one.

You and you alone have to choose
And whether you win or you lose,
Your reasoning to you is known,
The decision but yours to own.

I climbed to the top of a mountain
And rolled back down in a barrel of oil

I threw a plastic bottle in the ocean
Just to see what would happen

I visited the tropics, both of them
And littered in each one

I am the creator of worlds
And I am the destroyer

I put makeup on
but not too much
I wore my favorite outfit
straightened my hair

I felt good
and pretty

I left my house
my home
my safe place
then
someone looked at me
a moment too long
a little too judging

today I look pretty
I thought
that's why people look at me
I thought
I am going to be okay

I met friends
and a lot of people
and I couldn't help myself
but felt all eyes were on me
but
not in a good way
in a way
that made me feel uncomfortable
in a way I wanted to sink in the floor
and never come back again
in a way
that made me reconsider
my decisions
of dressing up
of putting makeup on
of straightening my hair
of feeling good
and pretty

How many stars are in the sky
I tip the telescope and behind one there are thousands more
They're all bright
Some are closer and some are further away
They're all a mystery to me
As I reach out
Look deep into them
another pulls my gaze
and another

Have I made the best decisions
Have I done all I could
Have I used the judgement that I have
And used it all for good?

When needs aren't being met through expectation of a future that will be far away behind us ..
When times had flash before my eyes and there's was no turning back to the present time of tomorrow dust..

But my own back was wondering if i was always against leaving
when always grieving on how much to the existed moment feeling that there's  was also much more needing
without it or without you it would not suggested to be believing ..

Pointed where I had envy the moment of  how the way your carelessly cared for the moment we shared ..
But without a doubt, there's was nothing wrong on how we dare to shared about how we never truly believed that it something that would  left us despair ..

As it was only the time to be nearer was seeking to how much existing memories you were to me, but as a dream we were only reaching for the moment we hope to hear of meeting, yet it somewhere I liked to be ..
Yet it stills found greater thing to remember where it ongoing hours ago.. I can't help but wonder if it is that you've  wanted if said don't ever let me go..  

As small a stop sign it can be but it never stop impressing on how much you mean to me ..
When all I can see even if it isn't you and I when there isn't one moment like this I'm dying to tried ..

I’ll be here whenever you’re near because here is whenever it begins again.
Seeing this never ends is a time worth spending it all over as long when it’s over then.

I dont know what ive done
Was it right or Was it wrong?
Had me feeling so right
Now its wrong now youre gone

Cut my feelings off quick
While u were still hanging on

I'm scared that youll be done With us
When i realise the cost

I ******* miss u already
My ride or die forever

Just saying that word
Made you smile for the better

So i never let it off
Never gave u assurance
Not even hypothetical
To make you feel like i noticed

Ive been sabotaging us since
I knew you were too good for me

I know that im no good for u
And with me you'll be ruined - see

I tried to tell u from the start
But never had the courage.

Because i loved you like my baby
But now i put you through this.

This is not fair on you
Its terrible to do it

3 years of memories
Every second spent with you
I blew it.

Every holiday that passes
Is gonna tear me up inside
My emotions in a box
Kept locked up with chains of iron

When i feel the sadness bubble
I try to put it
to the side
Cause the only thing u wanted
Was to make me happy
Right?

The only thing you wanted
Was for me to try but i was too busy
Trying to prove a point
Or add heat to the fight

The only thing you wanted
Is our families be fine
When my mum went ******* you
And you still kept on a smile

No weight or obstacle could
Test you anytime
So I put on extra pressure
Because I didn't use my eyes

And shouted when you broke down
And left you when you cried.
Because im unworthy of your
Love, and it's killing me inside.

Now there's tears till my neck
While im thinking of you
And im thinking this through

Turning back to you has the simplest of truths:
Ill do the same thing
Out of interest for you

Because
I know you dont deserve a
Synthetic fool.

Though; Anything i could do
To savour a moment with you
I would do in a second
To see you enter the room.

If I could go so far back,
To send a note that bears a fact,
That my past self shouldn't crack,
That I said I liked you from awhile back.

But knowing that you liked me back,
Gives me joy that I could crack,
I forgot to tell you that I still like you back,
And now you're headed towards the arms of another girl,

And now I regret and wonder of the things I should've done before.
Until this day I realized that there is no end of this suffering,
Day after day it still continues my sufferings,