The knights of old around the table sat
One got fat
One got high
And the other had only one eye

They went to rescue the fair maiden
They thought she needed save'n
But when they got there
They were unaware
She'd married that **** dragon
It was something hard for them to fathom

The fat one right down he sat
Not looking, and in dragon **** went splat
The high one pulled out his pipe
He didn't see why all the hype
The one with one eye started to cry
He was such a sensitive guy

The maiden ask why all the fuss
But they looked at her in disgust
Then in unison they shouted out from their armor of rust

We weren't invited to the wedding!!!!

Once upon a time
a long time ago
in a land far away
there lived a princess,
a damsel in distress;
with a hope
that one day
her life would be made whole
with a kiss from a prince.

A prince,
a hero  of sorts.
He’s fought dragons and
monsters and
thieves.
He defended his kingdom
with all his might
with the hope
that his life would be made whole
with a perfect
damsel in distress.

At the center of the tower,
the one in which the princess lives
is a man,
of an unfortunate, horrible
evil.
And just like the princess,
and the prince,
the antagonist, the
king
is just as cliché as the rest
with a hope
That he will rule the kingdom.

The one guarding the girl,
the damsel in distress,
is the monster -
the dragon,
the one from childhood stories.
He shoots fire from his mouth
the color of blood
and he defends
the princess with all his might,
with a hope that one day
he’ll taste the prince’s blood.

To make a long, curious, story short,
the damsel in distress a while forgot,
her troubles, rescued him from the rot,
and in the process found her way out.

Tell the Queen, there is a King who will always care
Tell the Princess, there is a Prince who with another she will never share.
Tell the Servant Girl, there is Boy who will her burdens bear,
Tell that Damsel, that to see her cry will not be fair,
Tell the Countess, that for her beauty a Count will not seize to stare,
Tell that Woman, that You will love her from year to year,
And that if ever she feels lonely, there will be no need to fear,
For there will always be a Hero, who for her will shade a tear,
And a Knight who will ride through heat and cold for a creature priceless and rare.

I am not
a damsel in distress.
I need no saving
from the tower that I built.

and that's when i realized,

you will not come home to me, you never could.

i am not soft or flexible, i am all sharp teeth and rough tongue.
i am more carnage than compassion.
my jaw clenches to show i could be nothing but cruel, never will be kind.

and who wants to call a wild beast theirs?
the fairytales never end that way.

This is the part of the story
Where the hero and his damsel realize each other's feelings
But what if we change it a bit
The damsel loves the hero
But the hero already has another
Quite a shocker for a damsel
Though love finds its way
It cannot be the same
Knowing that there once was another
The damsel let go of the hero
And set off for her own story
This time
The part of this story is that
She is now the heroine

Classic fairy tales
Always start with once upon a time
Then somewhere a princess is put in danger
A little later her knight in shinning armor
Comes riding in
Saves her
They live happily ever after.

**** that.

I never enjoyed those stories
I never understood why the princess didn't help herself
I always resolved to never need saving
And yet, I never realized why they were always saved
Because humans need each other
I need to be saved.

Not in the knight in shining armor way
But I need someone to be there
I need someone to hold me
When night comes
At three am when I'm screaming at myself
At four am when I'm crying in my bathroom floor
At five am when I pass out and have nightmares
At six am when I wake up exhausted
At six pm when I come home and collapse

I never wanted to be that damsel in distress
But I never realized that in order to heal
Someone has to push me.

- r.y.s

A damsel, fair with braided hair,
Her beauty wild beyond compare,
Came bustling to the summer faire,
Her petticoats a-flowing;

She settled there, upon a chair
And watched the young men stop and stare,
But none of them would dare to dare
To coax her with a-wooing;

In her despair, she gasped for air,
No one it seemed would know or care,
Her beauty hid a deep despair
That she was not a-showing

And unaware how to declare
The secrets that she dare not share,
The damsel left to who knows where,
And no one is a-knowing

How came a damsel quite so rare,
With beauty fair and braided hair,
Alone with no one's love to share,
Her petticoats a-flowing