sat in your lap
jealousy builds
like pressure
once a fissure

it now inches
its way across
my soiled soul
lather it on my body
like blood -
thick and treacly
dark, sticky
ever so sickly

tell me your lies
tell me your truths
trace them into my flesh
mark me

cast the runes
now they have spoken
clatter on the rocks
like my pride has
broken

my rage glowing
all I can see
forever growing

I embody entropy
A rule of disorder

hatred rises
through the flames
let it burn me
to ashes
like your touch
sizzles my skins frame

it's a crime scene
of blood swirling like ink
pills scattered
around me
like a ritual
I wonder what
my mother would think

you're a dream thief
knife in my
heavy heart
you've stripped me bare
and I stand
as you depart
with nothing but
at your mercy

I'm you're experiment V
the looking glass shows me
what's left
a withered mess
existing
for you to thrive
tired pile of crumbly bones and
shrivelling rotting insides
tossed aside

burn me to
oblivion

I want the skin
to stop sticking to my bones
melt it off
let the blood pool onto stone
let the fat droop and distend
mocking me, me mocking
never ever stopping
wretch and stretch
till I break
rip my organs out
serenade my limp body
with the liquid lava that drips
as you extract
my black heart
take a sip of my sublimity

I am all you will never be
because I don't think I ever was
do what you will to my material
never to extinguish my fire
that does
never
cease
limitlessly
increase
the
entropy

KG

Memories of that day
A seemingly endless moment in time
Still torturously haunt me
By captivating my mind

The things that were forcefully stolen
Can never be returned
Only replaced with sadistic images
On my soul, they are forever burned

The barrage of hits and touches
Grew invisible by the passing of time
Though the body does not forget
I was seared and branded by their heinous crime...

"**** it"
no
I refuted

I said,
"Bless it"

The world is enough a hell to be ******
Why curse it further?

Death befalls those ****** to wither
And as we are all flowers lacking that life inducing water
****** to death are we all

we call it love
our lips merge together in promises
steady heartbeats long lost
laying there hand in hand
keep mine if you want

i am struggling
my sense-seeking mind, reasons
with my confused, but forgiving heart...
to go, or not to go,
to do...or not to do,
go with traditions...or start a change,
to abstain...to be absent,
.............and...be ******

this battle exhausts me...though,
i know...at any time, whatever i do,
especially, this lenten season
God is everywhere, i so feel Him,
He is near me.....as i think of Him...

it doesn't make me less of a Christian
i just have less things to do
this thursday, friday and saturday...
for, i opted for something else:

in my solitude, i would have---

M-ORE time...........to reflect.....to
E-NGAGE in contemplative thoughts...to be strong, to
A-VOID all kinds of meat i so hunger for....to not be
T-ROUBLED, when tremors of the soul, seek to destabilize...

I know myself...i've come this far,
traditions may change, things may falter,
but, never...my Faith in Him.....


Sally


Copyright April 14, 2017
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan