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Broken Arpeggio Dec 2019
NO MORE am I confident in what this world has to offer
Its people are selfish and crazed
Chewing up and spitting out the meek and mild souls
Imprisoning an empath to suffering and pain

NO LONGER can I look upon life fondly
With that pure yet innocent gaze
I've been stripped of the wonderous excitement that curiosity can bring
And replaced it with an anxious but violent haze

NO MATTER the extent to which I try to recover
My mind keeps taking me back to those horrific days
Where a person or persons exorcised their demons
Placing those vivid memories on a continuous loop of play

NO DOUBT I'm broken and tainted
Which is quite short of filing it all away
I cannot condone or explain exactly why
Those that slaughtered my reality did NOT somehow pay
One single act, be it wonderful or horrendous, can change someone's world forever...
Broken Arpeggio Sep 2019
It starts with a blur
Then frightening moments of clarity
It flashes piece by piece
Then my mind changes polarity

An erratic heartbeat
Leads my consciousness away
Being frozen in terror
Leads all body movement astray

I smell things
When they aren't present now
I sense things
When I know there's nothing around

I see HIM
And then I don't
I feel HIM
And then I choke

If I ever remember it all
Maybe then, my mind will be at peace
With all the horrors out in the open
Maybe then, my body will finally get that coveted release
Memories can be beautiful and forever cherished; however, some scar us deeply...
Broken Arpeggio Aug 2019
When spoken by the timid
It evokes anxiety and fear
Ruminating over how to utilize it
And desperately not wanting to hear

The dauntless utter it overtly
Overconfident in prose and strength
Never contemplating the consequences
Keeps everyone at an arm's length

A sentence this precise shouldn't be so confusing
Nor open to the interpretation of its core
"No Means No", as a matter of fact
The brazen should use it sparingly, and the meek demand it more
This one word, yet complete sentence, has definitely created strife and fear within me!!!
Broken Arpeggio Jul 2019
A weight that crushes
With every exhaled breath
Leaves me helpless and hopeless
Creating an emotional death

I'm tired of hiding from feeling
And apologizing for who I am
Needing to depart from the shadows
Being that person, no one understands

Two parts of a self
That is conflicted but wishes to be whole
One yearning to please everyone
The other desperately trying to escape from web spun molds

This delicate silk
No matter how impenetrable the twine
Hopefully will start separating
And allow both sides to emerge combined
Broken Arpeggio Jul 2019
I believe you held my attention
From the moment our eyes first met
Desiring to emulate and follow you
In your hands, my world was set

An opportunity to help me flourish
By way of your tutelage and guise
I wanted to hold the title, "Daddy's Little Helper"
And witness the pride in those eyes

Your gaze seemed more of disdain than a satisfaction
Making me yearn to keep toeing the line
Always striving to be, just perfect enough
And worthy of anyone's time

When precision becomes routine, expectations are assumed
Leaving no forgiveness for not doing what was told
I did more than my share, freeing others from their burdens
And my childhood got lost within the fold

Lessons were handed out, on both sides of a wall
Built upon fear, stubbornness, and pride
Desperate and broken, I faded away
Creating an impossible divide

As time passed by, you moved on with life
Erasing our troubled memories with something new
That was never my thing, family loyalty was innate
So I choked on but buried deep, my feelings of you

Alienation gave cause, for my contentment in being hopeless
That we would ever, share the same breath of air
But out of nowhere, your heart falls suddenly on a sleeve
Now together, we are healing and attempting to repair

Thanks, Dad...
All experiences in life, be it good or bad, shape who we are. Therefore, the individual must decide whether or not those experiences define them! I am choosing to sift through the memories and wreckage in order to build something new...Thanks, Dad for making the same choice!!
Broken Arpeggio Jun 2019
A flaw or difference to one,
Is a pathway towards acceptance
For another...

...In a world that embraces and encourages
a "cookie-cutter" mentality,
Individuality should be celebrated,
Not chastised!
DARE to stand alone...Humanity NEEDS individuality!
Broken Arpeggio May 2019
You must not know
The pain I hide
So, I tuck it away
Until it burns me alive

It sears every cell
Of my weak and battered soul
Searching for a breath of air
To ignite a raging inferno

I conceal it to protect you
From a burdened and heinous fact
Past horrors are devouring me
Forcing my mind to reenact

Scenes and images I cannot fathom
Therefore, I am reluctant to share
Hoping for a bit of resilience
To save you from the crosses I bear
A desire to conceal atrocities, in order to protect, often creates more damage and does the inner-self harm! It also causes those we hold dear to feel hurt, confused, and shunned... Always keep fighting for resolution, acceptance, and peace; but remember no one should walk a long journey ALONE!
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