Staring into the mirror
Thats reflecting a face
But a void of emotion
An empty space

A hand upon the glass
As if this is really me
I'm not at all convinced
These eyes are screaming a plea

From deep within
This empty shell
This smiling mask
My own personal hell

I remember happiness
That once shone so bright
No traces have been left
No evidence of that light

Gazing back
At this hopeless form
This helpless girl
Lost within the storm

This storm that was brewed
A creation of my own
To which I blatantly accepted
Within it my loneiless has grown

Cold stream running down
The edge of my cheeks
A ghostly pale complexion
My resistance is at its peak

Hold the cool metal to a wrist
Desperatly finding a vein
Looking back at this pitiful girl
Perfect eye contact is made

Shaking with fear
Inhaling a deep breath
The blood trickling down
This girl can finally be at rest

Mirrored within the reflection
A young girl looking back
A smile etched upon her face
She had finally made her crack

Reflection

Over time you'd carved out space.
Your current eroding my toughest stone.
Gutting me for all to see.
For so long I'd forgotten what it was like to be without you,
But you put up dams and barriers, diverting your water;
and now, Colorado, you've dried up.
Sometimes it'd rain and I thought that you might return.
After so much time together we became synonymous.
How would I exist without you?

Now I know.
You may have cut deep into me.
Leaving your mark for all to see.
They still come for me, even when you're gone,
To look upon my beautiful layers and vibrant colors.


The pit you whittled out is vast but you could never fill what was.
I'm left with nothing but the dry, harsh heat.
Don't come back to this canyon.
There's no room.

I held scissors between my hands yesterday's night,
I cut a heart out of cardboard,
gave it a shower,
tucked it to bed,
sang to it a couple beats
and buried it in my chest.

I want to cut this
white
blank
canvas,
But I am too fearful of damaging the potential.
There are many things to do with this canvas.
I don't have to ruin it.
But I feel the need to.

"Never again"

The final words uttered by the already dead.
A sickly colored scratch scuffed porcelain skin
as fountains poured out glinting in the starlight.

And finally, I cried to the moon and dug deep.

"Never again"

As the rusty metal slides across my vein
I can’t help but cry out in pain
Not the pain of the sharp *******
The pain of my mental deviation
The red beads don’t pile up like they once did
I don’t hurt myself the same way I did as kid
Now I have more finesse and poise
I make art out of my injuries and treat my blades like toys
They itch after they bleed but it serves as a reminder
Yet to my destructive nature I’m just a little bit blinder
With each minor slice and crimson lined splice
I attempt to soothe my inflamed skin with cold ice
Always scarring even the smallest ones count
No matter if it’s a scratch or a **** in any amount
I choose to bleed and hurt myself
I hide them with hairbands in optimal stealth
I deserve the pain I inflict on my arm
There isn’t a day where I don’t think of self harm
Age has no impact when you’re willing to die
You don’t outgrow these tendencies and if you think you can that’s a lie
It haunts you when you’re awake and even more when you sleep
You count the cuts on your wrists instead of counting white fluffy sheep
Stripped of my childhood I was taken too early
Twelve years old when I started down this path surely
Not knowing how my life would have changed
Not understanding how my thoughts would become so deranged
I look at my scars and I smile inside
I remember every event because with each one part of me died
Six years later I’m still learning to cope
I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel but I do my best to hope
Because although it’s not visible that doesn’t mean it isn’t there
It’s like the sun caressing your face or the wind brushing your hair
Maybe one day I’ll make it out of this abyss
But for now I’m stuck with death’s kiss on my wrists