I'm so tired all the time,
wishing it was my bedtime
So uninspired and heavy
my thoughts push my head further into the pillow
gravity hooks its steel claws into my skin keeps dragging
my mind keeps lagging
my eyes sting and cry
perhaps I need a lullaby?

I'm so tired all the time,
my eyelids are in a constant fight
against the glowing light
i feel all this guilt as I sink further into my quilt

Why do my limbs feel numb and my limbs like they will collapse
perhaps I should get up?
I'm just so tired all the time,
yet why can I not sleep when I'm already in this deep


I'm so tired all the time,
perhaps this time if I close my eyes
sleep will creep upon me

there will be dozens
of people
who will take your
breath away
but the one
who reminds you
to breathe
is the one you
should keep
~c.p

You mean nothing to me anymore
I am no longer your *****
go and tie that noose around your neck
you bet I won't be there
I think about you and cannot remember why
why did I let myself cry
why did I let myself repeatedly die

You mean nothing to me anymore
even your name is just an eyesore
I walk with pride with each stride
no longer sunken and petrified
of your inner Jekyll and Hyde

You mean nothing to me anymore
and with that statement its the end of this cold war
I don't know what my future has in store
but I'm ready to go explore
I'm ready to walk this road alone

You mean nothing to me anymore
I know on this path i'll fall down and ask what's this all for
with disillusioned hopes and words- I miss you come back
I'll get back on track and realise
You may mean nothing to me but I mean the world to me
and its about time I became a ******* priority.

I would be lying if i said i wasn't thinking about you
when i awake up and go to sleep,
i close my eyes and just see these black sheep
when i'm lying down alone
where the hell is my backbone?

I would be lying if i said i wasn't thinking about you
even after i had seen him
i find myself wondering where you have been
finding myself dreaming in-between
his childlike charms and your arms

I would be lying if i said i wasn't thinking about you
that time we spent in bed all day and night
yelling **** the daylight and ***** the moonlight because we have each other and it will be alright

I would be lying if i said i wasn't thinking about you
that time you left me crying because you had better things to do
that time you left when i needed you the most
and you came back after like a really ****** ghost

I would be lying if i said i wasn't thinking about you
but i would also be ******* joking if i said i wanted you back
i've enjoyed this good old throwback
but don't confuse thinking with missing
you left and you stink of regret but you've become a memory, a silhouette

I would be lying if i said i wasn't thinking about you
but you'd always fall through
and i'm quite busy with someone who cares
because he hasn't caused me any nightmares
and i'm actually proud to be called theirs.

I don't want to walk in to a room full of strangers
have you even thought of the dangers?
Well I have at 3 am each night
they sure do bring me great delight

I don't want to walk in
oh my god give me some gin
They won't like me
I'm just a wannabe
Imposter syndrome
I just wanna go home

I don't want to walk in
They're looking at the white's of my eyes
I don't mean to dramatise
but I might die

I don't want to talk in
and I can feel my chest
I'm so ******* stressed

I'm walking in
Is this auto-pilot because this is your captain speaking and get ready for a crash and ****** burn
I've reached the point of no return

Walk in you big ******* baby
whats the worst that could happen?
I talk too fast with too much passion?
so what if they don't like me I already sound like banshee
At least try to be care-free
I can't make any guarantees
but step by step in to the room
it won't be all doom and gloom

Just walk in and see you might even make a friend in the end
who didn't want to walk in to too

I joke I make a great punch,
but if you knew me you'd have a hunch
something is very wrong,
when I am very gone.

I begin sinking in my chair
my emotions are very bare
I feel my heartbeat.

This liquid courage is a cheat
the after taste is not very sweet,
I drank a glass, or two
it's all gone a bit askew.

This liquid courage is a cheat
I still don't feel complete
I drank a glass, or two
maybe I don't have a clue.

I just wanted to talk without thinking
I didn't want to feel like I was sinking
everyone else in the room seems fine
maybe I should just grow a spine
but it's not even nine and my blood is half wine.

I think I'm drowning,
why is everyone around me frowning?

This liquid courage is a cheat
I just wanted to feel upbeat
maybe if I reapply my lipstick- wait, I'm going to be sick

This liquid courage is a cheat
it leaves you downbeat,
you need to find your own two feet

Get up the chair, brush your hair
and then everyone there will become aware.
Don't worry about what to wear,
because they'll all stare.

Be bare and share, you don't need this much liquid courage
but one small glass I won't discourage.

There is another chapter in your story
Discover your new territory
Don’t look back, become an amnesiac
These pages are your remedy
Forget the despair and the lost prayer look elsewhere
Start with the first page and dull your rage
This new chapter will be your sage

Put the old pages to rest on sundown
And at the break of dawn you won’t have drowned
Floating in bliss with your pages as a raft
Expel your craft
Release the ink bound in chains within your fingers
Rebound for fresh ground
The sea washes away the sand
Let it wash away your mind
Time will find you a place to stand and I will have your hand

Yesterday is dead; no more tears shall be shed
Abandon that past dread
The ink is being shed
Your new chapters wont go unread
Don’t look back, but look ahead.

I hope you know
How much I care
Although I may not show it
You mean more to me than air
When I don't speak to you it's such a scare
I hope you know
How much I care
I swear without you I would tear
You hold my world together dear,
You're my glue it's very clear
You've replaced my spear with something sincere
I just want you to be near
I hope you know
How much I care
You are the answer to my prayer
My love I just want to declare
My emotions I want to lay bare
Although I find it hard
With these bars around- I always have my guard
But please don't just discard me
I hope you know
How much I care
I could stare into yours eyes where I'd be lost wondering all day
Everyone else would just fade away
I close my eyes when you're not there
And I remember the memories we share
There's always something in the air
You may be unaware
But you have always been there
I treasure you more than the moon does the stars
Everything is ours
I hope you know
How much I care
I may be attached to you like a heart to a chest
But you treat what I kept suppressed like it was blessed
I just have one request
I hope you know
How much I care
Because for you, wise guy
I would even die.

I hope you know
How much I care.