Constricted
Restricted
Bound
Helpless

Four fears remaining constant

Cradle upon the spooned arms,
And the sunken fetus lay at ease.

As the night sky yield a breeze,
And the illumination of dawn woken by the alarms.

Serendipitous actions peak with charms,
And all things calm to a breathless sieze.

The presence brought myself to a knelted knees,
For the shimmering fire showed no harm.

We can only glisten by the laughter it gimmer that all things are going to be okay!

They say that change is the only constant thing in the world,

If then,


*Can I be your change?
And you, my constant?

And you tell yourself you'll change.
And you don't.
And you push your hand through water,
turn upside down and watch the sun ripple.
And you stand in the shower-
No, you sit in the shower,
and you breath through the water,
and you imagine what it might be like to drown.
And it feels like air is hugging your lungs for the first time, curl upside down,
and pretend the water is rain.
You're walking home, because you have a home,
and it's raining.
And you didn't even think to grab an umbrella.
And you don't care.
When your hands are cold, always trust in a hot water faucet.
Flipping 36 times in a row, blowing air out my nose.
And I remember that.
Clouds are made of water,
so it makes sense to feel like you're floating on air.

I see.
This match in your hand.
With careful movements.
Meticulous.
Dodging the rain that fell.
Hand over humble flame.
The previous burns are still there.
Lingering.
And yet.
You push forward.
Hoping.
That not a single tear will wash away the light.
I witness.
The runaway train.
Horns blaring.
Muffling the words.
That never seem to come.
Mach three.
And still no signs of slowing.
I stare.
A bystander.
As the earth beneath your feet stirs.
Quaking knees.
The smile never left.
For your safety was never in the prompt.
I gaze.
At all the beautiful disasters in question.
This house of blades.
Tell tales of edges that are remnant still.
Whispers so loud.
That even the ghouls shy away.
And as I do all these things.
I have never left your side.
The past may haunt.
The winters cold indeed.
But let shine my love.
For a constant you have truly been.
One that I shall never faulter from again.

what is it called when you need constant reassurance of your importance?
what is it called when you require frequent contact and kisses to feel wanted?
or when you feel like you don't matter at all to the person who matters to you.
what is it called?
cause i cannot find any appropriate words to describe how i feel.
how i am intensely pathetic and miserable both with and without you.
what even does that mean?
i'm nervous for the fallout
for the day you look into me and say
that you no longer love me.
i feel it coming
i sense it with my whole being
i can already feel you leaving me;
how my chest caves in
my knees grow weak
and my cries go unnoticed
but you still walk away
until then you just turn your head.