I hate writing
I confess
I detest words on paper
They never convey what I'm truly trying to say
So I've decided to keep on writing
Because I love the feelings my mind brings
It sometimes hits home and stings
But I guess my love and hate have to collaborate
I confess this doesn't make much sense
But make a story in your head
Take what you want from this

Not too big to weep,
not too slow to learn.
Not too old to dance
to a fresh new tune.

Never too late to jump
over my wrong conclusions,
to move at the speed of truth,
and outrun my grand delusions.

Not too proud to notice
the wonder of it all,
never dumb enough
to deny I feel so small.

Big enough to confess
I need to ask forgiveness.
Smart enough to kneel
and get down to business.

I speak the truth
But my eyes tend to lie
My heart beats louder
As I heard your goodbye

You know the truth
As you believe my lie
Smiled away knowing
I would be confused, why?

Is it that hard to confess
That you love me
And I love you
Or is it all meaningless

I guess it's best to let go
As I may be thinking wrong
Else why so much time wasted
Just to get along...


©sim

I      
                  where has this happened before?
                    leave your shoes on at the door.

at the beginning
my lips were cold,
smothered down by an impending hold.
too scared to sing a song,
wouldn’t dream to sing along.
come dress up with me
take me outside
and dangle me over
your favorite waterfall.
i will drink from its rays
until they freeze up my pipes
and you fix them for me
without being asked.

                                                behind the sky
                                                 is your house
                         and you invite me every day

II

but i will never visit you
because you are not really here
and your soggy smile
gets me upset.
by coincidence we made a bet
that was intangible for you.
although i should confess, Father,
even before the time capsule
cell eroded to the surface
and laid the past out as a hostage.

                                         i never felt for you.
                                          i never liked you.
                                          i hate to admit it,
                                        i always lied to you.
                                        get away from you.
                                         get away from me.
                                           don’t come back
                                       until i can come back.
                                     i know it’s ******* you
                                  but it’s crushing me whole
                                 and now i’m blowing away
                                              and the holes
                                                   in the net
                                      are too big to catch me.

III

some days we can make it a game.
some days we microscope our pain.
wrap it up like bday presents
show it off like the pretty pheasants.

no that's a peacock
the boys are pretty
will i be pretty?

even though
it feels ******

i want to move somewhere woodsy
but i can’t go alone, oh
turn up the boom box
        so it drowns out the
SCREAM
                 ING

I am a tough soul
that has no ego,
I let it all pour,
the drain overflows
I will never win,
adding up to the sin
Jugra sees me fled
the scene with
stained pen and
****** paper
and I thought
the moment I left
gone, already gone,
disappeared, diminished
finally freed
but for all that, I am still there.

I am at the tower
looking around
but the weather
will check on the ground
and betray me,
betray me,
weakened and hungry
for truth and honesty
one day you'll triumph
over my disgusting failure
childless, spineless
and I will miss
all the thousand words
that you have never confessed.

They will never set me free,
and they will always remember me.