Tinkered lullaby
Pastel my waking life
Love notes, in melodies
Score my nights
Loop endlessly
Delicate feathers
Primal heartbeats
Serenade me into insanity  

You set the tempo
I lay the drums
You do that bittersweet color
My voice will ache, though
Catch it, mood-layer
Send it
Repeat, player

Green room,  your living room
Headphones, lie on the floor
Give me your most beautiful dystopia
Inspire me, please show me more

I can’t see you, so join me in the liminal place
Melancholy, ache
Love me through the waves
Plush vibration, touch my face
Float me through your dream
Whichever path it paves

When it crests over
Your eyes are the conductor
Make my skin reach, my body rise
with the orchestra swells
We haunt and torture
Layer upon layer
I’ll never truly sleep

Drift
I'll look for you
You'll look for me
Then I hope we land.

Sounds like a battle cry,
brother;
Shall i ready the armies,
For battle, then?

This will be an epic, remember.
A battle of fear and desire,
In moonless nights,
In the depths
Of souls of men.

Ready the armies please brother,
Our soldiers filled with love.
This epic, eternally remembered.
Our call coming from up Above...

In the midst of moonless darkness,
Light shall shine from within.
Our desires directed to the Oneness,
Fear cannot remain!

A bond of light

Finger strong

Yet soft as the touch of skin

A silken thread forged in the heat of breath

Milk fire

Burning souls

White Hot

Cool as midnight

Blue Calm

Smoky and intense

Joining hearts and minds

Passion-Bird

Flying free at last

Liquid Sunrise

A burning arrow

Of dragon flame

Between us

Big Art: The art of collaboration.

Big bouncing, cushioning,
resonating, in-phasing.

Small piece-by-piece-making,

patch-working, ingredienting,
combining, conjoining,
absorbing,

- collaborating.

more collaboration
     than competition
more compassion
     than callousness
more creativity
     than conformity

You were the smallest baby when you were born
How could we have guessed you'd be such a thorn?
You put the twinkle in our eye
It reminds me daily when I look at my thigh.

I hate moments we argue, hate when we fight
You have been so wrong but mostly you're right
Can't imagine giving birth to a child
You sacrificed lots to make sure I smiled

I dedicated life to my daughter
Little did I know that would stupidly start some slaughter
Now you go begin life on your own
I stand back watching how much you have grown
Very confident and bold
More valuable than silver or gold

I did not ask to be brought into this world
Hands tiny, innocently curled
So much time has passed since then
Now you're not just my mom, you're my best friend!

Raising you taught me so much
With more ahead in store
Every day that passes I
Love more and more

COLLAB. WITH AUSTIN DRAPER

It’s little more than a quiet thought.
The impending feeling that the loneliness
was a creation of my own imploding self-conscious.
I wouldn’t have hurt you voluntarily,
so what outside force could know my mind so well?

It’s little more than a spoken word.
The rumble of the oncoming storm could be felt
from as close as 1.6 miles away,
where the darkness of your room invaded the
not-so secret spots of your heart.

I’m prone, to the truth in your words.
I’m not used to the idea of confronting my thoughts
And sorting them out to you.
Is it that I spoke wrong words? Or I stopped before they meant anything?
You mean so much, and now you are out of my reach.

I hold on to everything  
yet I can't seem to let anything go
Broken shards of
memories  
that mock me
And fight my mind.

At night these thoughts  
destroy me and take over my soul
And suddenly,
I find myself
Quiet and all alone

"It's okay to tell me everything,
Yes,every single thought"
they say.
But how will that help when these
Troubling emotions  
Won't go away

So here I am again
at night  
Afraid of myself,
afraid of the light
And suddenly I find myself
Quiet  
And out of control

I feel like a lonely star
in the sky.
In this life I once
felt hope but
it became too
difficult
to repair from the
troubling emotions!

My smile hides these
tears,
and you only know
my cover,
But I just want something  
better,
to not feel this terror.

I get broken each day,
Keeping these  
emotions in my core,
I wish I'd find  
Myself very soon.

I won't practice  
my smile in the mirror
Or make my fake smiles
More clear
I'm  tired of living behind  the mask
With these TROUBLING EMOTIONS!

emerald linen edged with jade
a book titled with my name

and it’s heavy.

i flip through the pages
but they’re blank.

or maybe they’re written
in a way i cannot see

or maybe it was never written at all.

or maybe it’s a reflection,
an empty book, an empty me.

& maybe I’ll write it someday.