It doesn't matter what I write
This all lives inside me still
Waiting around to strike

I think I've lost before I start
I think I've failed before I've tried
I think it's over before it could ever begin
I am my own worst nightmare

The music I've held so dear to my soul
Should shed light on what I feel
Do you give it a chance
Do you give me a chance
Before you cast you stones and cast your judgements on me

I think I'm fat when I starve
I think I'm ***** when I'm clean
I think that, I'm sure that you could never want me
I am my own misery

The fires I'm watching, so close in sight
Could burn even our sun
Could you come closer, ***
Oh, will you stay with me
This time I meant everything I said, I promise

I think that I'm worthless
I think I'm a prize
I think that I'm clueless
I think that I'm bright
I live in the darkness
But I hold the light
I could get out but there's nothing for me
At least in the cold I have myself

Of whether or not pain is even a feeling,
she’s not sure anymore.
And if it ever differs in some way from love,
she doesn’t have a clue.

As you held me I started to cry
                You didnt know what to do
  You were already holding me tight
                         Clueless
         So you watched my tear slowly drop
After awile it seemed as if the floor was flooded i had enough tears to fill an ocean
            You attempted to mop it up
                     But you failed
You couldn't handle me at my worst
     At the rate we were going
         You would never see my best
   You were the reason i was depressed

two shots of
tequila
a splash of
campari
soco
tanqueray
kalua
amaretto
vermouthy
chambord
lime concentrate
peache schnap-ps
triple sec
cheap-*** *****
malibu
top it off with
soda water
sprite
drink until it's gone

i could feel
the winds throughout the desert
but so am i like the changing gusts and tempests  
just as the blossoms once felt their petals fall away
when they wilted old and fragile in the fray
but now the leaves are calling out as they are whisked onward
my wayward miracles of life
and yet still i ponder
my life to wander
through those pebbles of time
for sand is far too fine
though these tears of mine
may be dried like summers sweet wine
on your lips
taken into that callous mouth of yours
which knows only how to spit words out
so vile to be heard
as i sit here yet again, unperturbed
for any emotion in this world
is absurd