I sought out just what I've become
Numb to trepidation, apposed to emotions
I choke on sensations, opening to oceans
Of blood soaked remnants I can't fathom
Begin to comprehend, or otherwise justify
To myself
And It's square on my shoulders
If I like it or not
Sating my lust for life, finding out how
To revel in spite, in spite of myself, honestly
Grating, the thoughts that haunt me through
Sleepless hours and all the mindless rambling I do
To myself
I wanted to change, and I did
I did change
Bought at the current rate
Life condensed to a price
I wanted everyone to pay
Besides me. Never me
I thought it free, until someone came around with
The promise that they'd take it all away
Breaking ground, like the words I said
What I say in my day to day
Breaking ground, foray into something
I'd call a grave mistake
Try to justify it, screaming at the sky
Trying hard to hide what I swear I left behind
Blame it on society. A scapegoat that never falters
Hurdles that I prayed would change, and yet
They never falter
So, I blame it on you, and then you blame it on me
I blame it on myself
...
I blame myself.
What it always comes down to
And I turned into what I had always planned to turn into
Go figure.
