Union and Grand

I moved into this house less than a year ago
and already three gun related murders have occurred
within a three block radius; two of them involving children.
I'm not making this **** up.
Those numbers wouldn't be anything exciting for a population
hitting upwards of the millions,
but this is not a big city.
This is the heartland.
-
The city paid for a series of strategically placed dead ends,
forced turns, and surveillance equipment to be installed
in the area of about a mile surrounding my house.
No wonder they call this place "The Trap".
They keep changing the maze,
and studying us like rats.
-
They had a make-do memorial for the little girl who got shot.
They attached her stuffed animals, cards, and photos to a utility pole
on the corner of Union and Grand. The city had it taken down.
Some kind of city ordinance
from some dusty tome at the town hall.
Kids killing kids, and the shots keep firing.
-
Now don't get me wrong, I'm not what'd you call an activist.
But when bloodshed occurs within eye shot of where you sleep,
you start to get a little irked.
These kids have as much potential as me, and twice as much grit.
Their teachers barely even know their names,
let alone what it's like to be deprived of privilege.
-
I'll stomp this concrete until my feet break.
This labyrinth is my constant reminder and reality check.
I am here, and you are there.
This connection is suspended on silver threads and I am your puppet.
Mold me into your angst driven dreamboat.
Because tomorrow, I'm just going to wake up here. **Tyler.
-
This soul has been folded seven times
and I grow tired of this reality.
There was a time when I could scream loud enough to wake the dead.
I guess I'm showing the symptoms
of an accidental child
with a tongue that only tastes art as bitter protest.
-
I'd tear my face off
to know if this is really getting through to you.
The face in the photo is that of the goat; the false idol and deceiver.
A Knight of Pentacles, selling you gold plated garbage.
Odin-kin.
You always feel like I have a secret to keep; my fist is in the air.

The change in my pocket
Does God really want it?
Not much to give.
We all gotta live.
A sinner in the pew.
Just one of a few.
Searching for the truth.
Must we pay for the proof?
Money is the root of all evil...
I heard that in this very steeple.
Contradiction Strewn with fiction
No wonder I'm lost...
it comes at a small cost
The change in my pocket
Does God even want it?
Its confusion I bought
as I sit in the pew.
This is just a thought
just one of a few.

I try hard to pray
I'm waiting for you to say or at least display
that you are here
I volunteer and adhere to all they say I should every year
Even when others sneer
It's all unclear
But I'm beginning to loose my faith

I don't attend church
Just trying to search
In a holy building I won't find you
But the truth is overdue
It must be untrue
For everywhere I pursue
Leaves me blue
I'm just asking for a clue
Because I'm beginning to loose my faith

Some say you're in the air
I stare in despair
Beware of the lies
Some say you're in the sky's
Maybe it's just a guise?
A disguise which denies me my eyes
I was baptised
Does that mean I get to share your Celestial City?
What a pity
You see I'm beginning to loose my faith

Just come down and denounce your scripture
It's all just a contemporary mixture
I can't see the picture
Maybe you're in my mind
Created by an unkind humankind

I am suddenly no longer inclined,
I am suddenly no longer blind
Never mind

I have not lost my faith, I never had it
It was never innate, I must admit
There are no big pearly gates
Just our small debates

For I have truly lost my faith.

keep an eye
on her church
mouth, place
a kiss upon
liquor thighs
then remember
she'll make you.

Every time
A car saunters by
In the blistering heat
Breaking up the visible waves
And making my heart skip a beat
I think of how unholy I must seem now
Only because you simply
Cannot, will not
Just leave me alone.
I'm shutting myself in
In my house, in my mind
Because I am so afraid
Of confrontation with you
Of interrogation
Of your judging looks and incriminating comments
That make me feel even worse
I'm scared to go back
You have scared me out of religion
Out of believing
You have shut me in
Like you tried to shove me into the doors of your church.
Every time a white truck
Pulls into the driveway across the street
Of just how everyone is a sinner
How you have tied me down there forever
How lost I am, when I know right where to go
How you shut me in and secured the doors
Removed my comfort and injected paranoia
Just leave me alone
In my shut-in mind
Because I do not want to go back to your church.
*******.

STOP CREEPING

(Road signs in Australia thus remind us to keep to the speed limit)

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
William Shakespeare:  MacBeth, Act 5 Scene 5.

Creeping, seeping, peeping, sleeping,
What’s the common factor through these ‘eep’ words deeming?
Shakespeare calls them dusty and aligns them up with death.
Our world calls it shadow but it chokes you out of breath.
Churches cannot see them so they flout invisible.
Jesus calls them idols yet they sound so plausible.
Christians follow teachers in a roundabout way.
Teachers crave disciples which determines what they say.

But these are all poor players on a poorly structured stage.
Their stage gives way.  They tumble. They rise up in a rage.
“Life has not been fair,” they say, and “Where is God in that?”
Did they ask Him in the first place?  Did they call God up to chat?
The churches have no answers.  Now where do I go from here?
Go right back to the Bible, Friend.  The truth is written there.
Check it yourself. It’s relevant to eras far and near.
Like natural laws it cannot change with fashion year to year.

So do not mix the fashion in philosophies of life
With Truth that stands forever among raging seas of strife.
Counselling in modern terms can get you sympathy,
But will it give you backbone for the next antipathy?
Feminism needed to support the weaker staff,
But now of our humanity it rejects one whole half!
And money is too much an issue when it must be said
That what is not of love is valueless to Christ our Head.

Of all the thousands who are found in church each seventh day,
How many can indeed discern the right and faithful way?
How many put their lives on hold for truth and nothing less?
How many first set out their plan and build their faith round this?
Is there not one who will apply to God for his blueprint
So s/he can play the part of power for treasure in Heaven’s mint?
The Spirit of Truth cannot be found where ideas pull such weight.
He’s somewhere else you don’t suspect.  Chase Him, and don’t be late!