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I don't know what boundaries are
And where they lie
Between a friend and a lover
And to colleagues, I'm shy

Do I tell you deep things
That mean a lot to me?
Or should I save my depth
For those that truly see me?

do I need to explain
My entire life
For curiosity
Behind abstract eyes?

Intimacy is needed
In life to survive,
But what lines do I cross?
Which depth do I dive?

My emotions are deep
Can you empathise?
Would it hurt you as I explain
And make myself cry?

Is it worth it today?
Should I just stay shallow?
Talk about the TV
or something more mellow?

I just don't know when to go
I don't know where to crop
Images in my mind
And thoughts are just non-stop

I can't tell you everything
noone could understand
and I should reserve some depth
For myself, please understand

I need to learn and create
My own safe space
And respect all my boundaries
Make you reciprocate
Hoarding is a problem associated with
Loss
Loneliness
Deep sense of something missing something.
Or someone.
An emotional empty feeling.
Until we can face theses things
We will carry the excess baggage.
around in a physical way.
Only we can
Change
The things around us.
By sorting of the pain hurt.
We can let go
And release the things that we are attached too.
Then we can do a spring clean inside outside.
Johnny walker Nov 2018
Counselling Is the place
I went today so glad I did
met wonderful people all
with the same feeling of
loss
Almost frightened to go at
first told everyone might
be some time before I'd open
up
How wrong could I be, within minutes I was
talking opening up freely
I'm so glad I went, going
again next
week
Seeking help went to counselling today best
move I ever made
found myself talking
freely a great help
thelemonpolice Aug 2018
I didn’t want to talk about this
It feels cliché
Like a muslim boy
telling his parents he’s ***

No I didn’t want to write about this
Its not okay
I feel overused
As a song; overplayed

But the truth is I need to
I need to address
Address is the same place
I do rest my head

And my head isn’t rested
I have 20 thoughts
Or more when I’m resting
I feel so contorted

The truth is I have issues
And really who doesn’t?
If you talked to a counsellor
Would you feel confident?

But today I met friends
Who are doing just fine
said I wasn’t jealous
And that was a lie

Because this isn’t fair
How you grew up like this
How your home is your home
And you always felt safe

It just isn’t fair
That I didn’t get that
That I didn’t get
Healthy and positive chat

I don’t mean to be bitter
I mean no disregard
to your life, but it’s strange
How shuffled the cards

It’s scary how scarred
A person can be
From events that occurred
Not so recently

How do I accept love
If it is not in my nature?
I was brought up by a
Suffering, cruel creature

Who pushed everyone away
And twisted my words
And laid hands on me
Didn’t let me be heard

Friend, how do you date
And feel so secure?
I’m clingy, they string me
It never endures

And how do you talk
And feel like you mean it?
Everything I say
I feel so defeated.

And how do you dress
And act so confidently?
I feel like a fraud
It shows prominently

And how do you travel
And explore the world?
The anxiety I feel
Makes me want to hurl

but I know we are different
I know I feel deep
I know I have issues
I know that they creep

Up on me and I fall
Into states of despair
And replay my past
Takes me months to repair

You’ve not been depressed
You’ve not seen all the things
That honestly make me
Question everything.

Maybe I shouldn’t compare
My entire life
To your different hardships
and dealing with life

I just wonder how different
I would have been
If my parents just cared
A bit more about me

I said it was cliché
it feels crap to write down
But honestly that’s
What’s getting me down

But I guess I must end
On a positive spin?
I wouldn’t be me
If it weren’t for them.

I wouldn’t be writing
I wouldn’t be sad
But you wouldn’t be reading
So, I am slightly glad
I don't like this poem, I feel like it is laced with self pity, but it's how I feel sometimes, so I had to write it down.
****** violence isn’t a mistake, but it’s dealt with by an accident claims organisation.
ACC, you might think you’re right, but I disagree.
He did not trip and fall, that’s not an explanation.

****** abuse, for a while there, stole my ****** exploration.
I would go to a counsellor’s office and nervously drink herbal tea,
waiting to be seen, by ACC, an accident claims organisation.

They ask me my story, it’s quite the fixation.
It hurts for me to talk, you’re meant to help me.
A new stab in old wounds, is a poor medication.

They tell me they have to - ask about the *******,
they need to poke and **** me with questions of PTSD.
I need a mental injury, cos y’know, ACC is an accident claims organisation.

I tell them it hurts, it’s invasive. My frustration.
They tell me they’re sorry but it’s “necessary”.
I’m in pain and for what? A poor explanation.

ACC, we don’t deserve your mental mutilation,
You’re our only option, other counselling costs, we don’t have the money.
You’re meant to be a helpful organisation.
And hurting us to help us is a ****** explanation
Currently in New Zealand to qualify for ****** abuse counselling from ACC a counsellor or psychiatrist must find a “mental injury” as a result of the abuse.
Thomas Conlan Aug 2017
Man, the mountain tamer.
Explains to the erupted how their cores can be corrupted. Disaster avoided he can rejoice, until he hears another voice. Afraid of how their emotional erosion may cause the Earth's explosion. Lost, not just their home, but themselves.

Man, the mountain tamer.
Sweetly shouts serenades to the mounds who seek aid. Blissfully bringing back the molten from back before they knew when. Lava they've learned to live through now erupting from within you. The heart's fatal eruption will be their world's destruction.
I finally  reported  that man
in  Contact Point for inappropriately
Touching me.
It took a lot of courage
I feel  bad about doing it.
But fear stopped me .
Finally  I might be able to let go
And move on
Josh Jul 2017
I have a phone call tomorrow
To talk about my depression
They'll ask me questions
With clinical precision
While I'm just trying
Not to throw my phone
I'll do my best
But its terrifying
It'll be one less hour of silence
Sixty minutes closer to the void
I'm hoping, like ****, they can
Fix me up
I want to start living again
Cut me open
Tear out my soul
I can't seem to find the use
Of anything anymore


Everything just hurts


She tells me to allow myself to feel emotions I already feel too much
She tells me to accept what I've long ago accepted
That doesn't mean it hasn't still come to play inside my head
And that does not mean I haven't accepted reality
I accept it and try to get it to *******
It never really does though

And that's just me,
That's just me in my not so subsiding self-pity


You don't really have a clue how much I hurt
How much I feel
Bethany G Blicq Dec 2016
Don’t you worry about a thing.

Don’t you worry about a thing.

Don’t you worry about a thing.

Don’t you worry about a thing.

Don’t you worry about a thing.

Don’t you worry about a thing.

Don’t you worry about a thing.

Don’t you worry about a thing.

Don’t you worry about a thing.

Don’t you worry about a thing.



If I told you

that I would repeat this

over and over

until the very moment

that you stop

worrying,

would you stop?
Written in 2016.
Bethany G. Blicq

It can be stressful to me just knowing someone is stressed out. Please stop worrying. Instead, use all that focussed energy to do something wonderful. To find a solution or make a solution to your problems. To create. To love. That energy that you waste on stress could be used to solve all of your problems. If only it weren't wasted on stress.
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