I've known pain
I've known fear chilling than the harmattan air
Pain, fiercer and harsher than the whips of a thousand horsemen


My soul sank deep into the river of pain and fear


I sought refuge in the ***** of the younger dawns
I hid in their embrace and they comforted me
I dreamt of the rebirth of her garden in all its glory
I felt the healing miracle of the morning sun when Eva
bathed in her warmth; and I saw her inhabitants,
came alive with the songs of the birds, and fluttering flowers in the breeze
I've known pain;
Nameless, faceless fear


I sunk deep into their depths
And they hurt no more

Do I dare count the men
Who have slithered between my legs?
Is “What’s your number?” just a possible question
Or is it a question that begs?

Do I dare add merit to fluid actions
That ripples through life’s ebb?
Or will such an answer create disruption?
Will it wrestle with my head?

And if this is so, do I have a duty
To answer this knocking question?
Am I neglecting, truly,
A responsibility privilege presented?

Can I face this number without hurt?
Is it truly unimportant?
Or with it will I uncover a sting?
Will I unveil undue torment?

Curiosity rears its head
Maybe years from now I will face it
But for now I fear that I’m much too vulnerable
Granted its importance was merely created

I am just as curious as the man who created
The importance of such summing
But his legacy is much too strong for me
Through shallow eyes
Such as mine
It will endow me *unbecoming.

Fear me.

I fill all spaces.
I break all walls.
I convalesce in tight corners.
and piece all the pieces.

Such tiny things are goals.

Such a pitiful want is sleep.

Fear me for I fear nothing.

Run fast for I sprint forward toward the world,

And you are in my way.

It is not that I do not love you
It is not that I do not respect you
It is not that I have made wrong choices
It is not that you do not matter to me
It is not that I must always be isolated
It is not my "imaginary friends" and "voices"

It is that you are way to demanding of me, I have lost a lot of
My most precious dreams, and am only running on empty.
Sorry if this isn't an excuse to you, but you're not me,
"Ones trash is another ones treasure..." or something
Silly like that, thanks to your endless hustling at this time,
*There is no telling when I'll ever be free...

Thoughts running around her brain,
they hop on a train,
Trying to get away from those pain,
because the stabs are just too much to bear.
Her mind wants to go everywhere,
anywhere but here.

Voices echoes
New hellos
Strange faces
Pulled her back to reality,
Heavy heart,
to act her part.
First steps are always hard.

Dizzy, lazy,
her hair went almost fuzzy.
Thank Goodness she's not yet crazy.
Thank Goodness.
What would challenges be if they are too easy?

First time in my whole life
Over twenty years of my existence
Realizing how beautiful life is
Even there are many hardships
Visiting good memories with someone
Elevate my mind, heart and soul
Realizing no matter what happen in life
More and more good memories will come
On the right time and the right place
Raising my life to **God Almighty
Existence is my greatest blessing forevermore.