what have i become. .
what have you made of me, mother?
what have you sculpted, brother?

carved to perfection,
into an ivory soulless wreck,
a hopeless mess, high off morbidity and agony,

carved to perfection,
to attend to your lavish needs,
of a stripped youth,
hidden under a blood stained carpet floor,

and you do it so lovingly,
as i reach for air,
when you've buried me
six feet under.

take my secret
and bury it in
your chest,
you can visit it
every now
and then,
just don’t give
it too much
attention,
it feeds on and is
greedy for
grudges,
it will not hestitate
to steal the
spot light from
your heart.

there are days where I worry I have done nothing but tangle myself in regrets
I keep writing poems about my past hoping to cleanse it out of my system
because most days I feel more shame than growth and I forget what all of the rain was for
I was almost better, but almost doesn't count for much
I'm tired of watching the sun rise and fall from the same place hoping somone will save me from myself
my thoughts are so loud I'm burying myself in them
but something inside of me has survived all of the suffering and still wants to carry on
something in me knows that this is not the end

You buried it with your skeletons. Refused to show it. Why’d you hide it?
Bury it deeper, so I keep digging for it. Where’d you hide it?
Why you playing this game with me? Burying me with your skeletons. Cradling me in the grave you made.
Ten feet under. It is hard to move. Air is running low. No where to go.

You were my friend.
I was the only one at your funeral,
You didn’t have many friends.

I buried you myself,
In my own backyard.

I loved you so much!
I love you still.
I love you so much I wrote this poem for you.

Taken so soon,
It ***** you don’t live as long as we do.
I hope heaven is kind to you

I will never forget you!
You were there when I needed you!
I was there when you needed me too!
But now you’re gone.

I will join you again one day my friend,
But until then,
You can eat all the carrots that you want,
Hop around in all the fields that you want.
And when I arrive,
We can eat all the carrots that we want,
We can hop around all the fields that we want.

May you rest in peace.