I feel you grab forearms
Same skin you lovingly kiss
Keep burning for that side of you
More and more it comes to this

Room with uneasy air lingering
I'll try to forget whichever fight
Had that led to all that noise
It's still going to be alright

I will convince myself to take the blame
Swallow down but it's stuck in my throat
Swear it's what I must deserve
The back of my mind knowing I don't

Telling stories to **** with conscience
Tempted to believe but know better
We can do this back and forth for a bit
This cannot go on forever

Arranging pieces to fix what we broke
Tangled with promises long overdue
Never have your attention for long these days
When I was young I mattered so much to you

To feel that again I'd give
My fears and sacrifice
Listened to your point-of-view
Then I realize we won't get that twice

Laughing and living in love each day
Was alive not just existing
I should have known it wouldn't last
I'm hurt and my body is constricting

Now I am broken by the one I love
I'm feeling betrayed
Know you are in pain yourself
Wondering if I should have stayed

To follow instinct was stupid
Should have been chasing my heart
I didn't have the stamina
Because I was falling apart

A good person what I was trying to be
Once thought I did the right thing
Didn't just hurt you with my decision
More like mutual suffering

I inhale unbridled woes
But part of you is dead
Swear to die so you can't **** me yourself
Bullet through both our heads

So you took a bite out of your own gun
Spit out the bullet and broke your teeth trying to chew the metal
You bared your teeth; twisted and shattered
But the threat was clear and your smile was sharp
Even if your canines weren't

And I know what you were trying to say
I felt your breath on my ear
And I heard you clearly when you promised me a taste
And I wondered if you were gonna break your teeth on me next
I wondered if you really were as terrible as you wanted me to believe
Or if you were just hiding

Something inside is
It's almost going to
There aren't words for the pull
about to Snap

Unknown explosion
Without explanation
Not sure how to loosen the threads
it's Breaking

What to do
Who's taking the bullet
My fault my bomb it doesn't turn off

sorry
It's going to hurt me
more then it already hurts you

Have you ever washed the blood of another off of yourself?

Standing under the shower’s rain,
Rinsing, and scrubbing the blood off your face and arms.
Staining the tile where you stand;
Swirling hypnotically down the drain.

I shot you;
I’m the reason you’re dead,
And the splatter of blood across my face proves it.

The gunpowder is still under my nails,
Black as ever as if I scratched my way out of my own coffin into yours.
I’m still coughing up dirt, I swear.

I stabbed you;
I’m the reason you won’t wake up.

The blade glimmered as I twisted it into you so fluidly.  
I was afraid to pull it out,
Afraid that a piece of myself was embedded in you too.
The dagger is a shade of red and brown as if you were ***** just like me.

I killed you!
Can’t you see? You can’t.
But, I believe, no, I know you feel it somewhere.
Somehow.

This water isn’t hot enough.
It’s not scalding enough to burn the feeling of you off of me.
But the blood,
Oh, the blood.
A never ending crimson sea, a deep bleeding river of you, slowly, but surely, disappearing from existence.

I run a bath,
The shower wasn’t enough.

I’m still stained.
I’m still tainted,
I’m still bleeding into someone who isn’t me.

The water swishes as I settle in.
Back and forth, up and down,
Over and under the sides of the tub.

The water won’t stop turning red,
A deep red.

A reminder that I killed you,
That I shot you,
That I stabbed you.
That I don’t regret it,

But regret isn’t guilt.
Is it?

It’s ******.

The only thing he was closed to was
             the bottle or his gun...
Caressing both gently as he lingered
on this chair..
He had thoughts of yesterday,
            The barrel still had that
         just used smell,
he sniffed the casing.

Smiling at the cold effortlessness
         for which he knew it was
going to be used once again.
As he leant back the front door opened,
             A gentleman strolled in,
turning his rooms dim lights on.
            Not even noticing me sitting
there, smiling as he walks past..
A head then pops back around.

The pistol pointing at his blank expression,
                I use the gun as a pointer showing,
him where to go.I can see in his eyes he want
to run, to do something stupid.

"Don't even think about it,
            as I wave the gun at him,
as I if I were gesturing him
                                               "No,

He sits there, calmly sweating.
              Eyes racing around his skull.
A hundred and one bad ideas of what to do...
But there is only one out come.
             Its ok, I tell him. if I were going to **** you,
I'd have put one in the back of skull outside when
you were concentrating on opening your front porch.

So we find ourselves in a predicament.

   My son found out about my past from you?
He's a version of  me, at a younger time.
But I wanted to bestow on him knowledge of
   my transgression at a moment of my choosing...

So when a parrot talks to much do you pluck its
feathers, or do you snap its neck?
       what you think!

What should I do, so many things my son now
                     thinks he knows...

Do we have an understanding here..

He nods in a hastily manner,

the next day I watch my son,
the **** of my heritage
                      go to the parrots cage,

He answers the door..

Words are spoken, Raised voices are spoken.
           Then the door slams in my sons face,
       he kicks the door,  
he has my temperament that kid.
As he drives off, I wait,
                  the parrot is flying the coop..

As he gets in to his car echoes bounce of the
surrounding as broken glass falls like broken
snow flakes. The interior now painted with
his mistake. Parrots should never talk...

I walk off, later finding my sons car.
     I smell the barrel, god that smell never
gets old.. putting it in his glove compartment.
     taking my gloves off I wonder in the house.
Asking him why there's a pistol in his car?
Running out he grabs it out, and now his prints
are on it.. lets see him betray his old man now..

Who is she anyway?



Crying at any movie whether it's sad or happy...

Sharing her passion for music, whether or not she has anything to do with it...

Doesn't complain because she always wants to put others first.

Goes through pain like a bullet goes through flesh.



This is who she is at her best.



Don't try to underestimate her or put her to the test.

Always know she'll win because she not only follows instinct, but her heart.

Her heart that aches was replaced with glass a while ago.

Not only did it shatter, but it turned to cold hard stone.



She was accused of being a hard-headed human.

She was told that she was selfish, arrogant, and a liar.

How could you know behind her closed doors?



When you finally let go and get the chance to pull them open;

Then you'll see...

It had absolutely nothing to do with me.