Your fingers linger on the bruises
You put there just last night
Covering
Last week's addition with thoughtful convenience
Streaks of red and blue around my throat
A word too fast
A breath too short
I made you angry
You did not realize
This one time would be the last
A second too long
A lifetime lost
My body in a bag
A macabre sculpture you created like an artisan
Molding my face into a canvas of fear and pain
Into the blank face of death
You created art and like most artists
I(t) will haunt your sleepless night
With every memory of me

I woke up next to you that morning, with bruises and bite marks on my arms that proved you loved me the night before. You kissed them and I swear I heard them sigh.
But that same night, you left me again. What changed in you within that day I'm still unsure. But you told me I could no longer be a priority to you. And I felt all my importance disappear in an instant.
It all made sense to me after that, though. The bruises, I mean. You left a mark so I would remember you even after you left. You even kissed them goodbye.
And then you disappeared as well.


↠mndi➣

Blue and indigo lines.
Dark as ink.
Drowning in blood with pain.
With the pounding and drum of each heart beat, more pain is released into the system.
Flowing calmly but with intensity and pure passion.
The streams are in a tangled path. Leaving behind a strangled mess.
The throbbing continues with every breath.
Echoing against the very soul of your being.
The blues and purples reach the surface as each new tender bruise is revealed.

The child fell in mid-July
When he held three rings
Rippling out from his bones.
His knew smiled a toothless
grin that dropped guts & goo
While the child screamed
Hoping that mother would set
Down her dishes and break
In half her paint brush. He hoped
That mother would stitch him back
Together. A scarecrow wears a costume
Of a strong superhero three months
Later with the help of rubber bands
And metal barbs.
The child fell in mid-July &
Left a scar but not a bruise.

You left me a bruise
the kind you don't realize you have until long after the incident.
A purple tinged skin of a mistake
from pushing too hard and too far
searching for love,
love that would never come.
I cried and begged you for you to want me,
you said you did,
but I saw those messages to her,
and the other girls.
You lied.
You never wanted me.
You only wanted ***
when I wouldn't give it to you
you left.
Left me hanging
from a noose
choking for life.
I screamed for you to come back
I would have given you my all
I was too late.
I realized it
and so did my wrists
as a blade met them
blood ran down my hands
as I left blood soaked fingerprints
on letters
you would never see.

I've shredded those letters now
its been over two years
since I promised I would **** myself if you didn't love me.
I took the crumped notebook and rusty razor blades
out to the trash and threw them away
without a second thought
like you threw away my heart.
The bruise has faded now,
the bruise you left me
the purple has faded to a yellow
you may not notice it at first glance
but when I push on it just right
the same deep-throbbing pain
as when I first received it
shoots through my body
I bite my teeth and curse your name
If it wasn't for your big brown eyes
I would have never gotten myself into that mess.

Do you have any idea the pain you caused me?
or were you too blinded by your own scars to see mine?

you left a bruise on my lips
the first time we met.
                              A crash-and-burn type of
                                         introduction.

you left a bruise on my soul
the first time you left
                               before I realized I was leaving
                                                     too

those bruises all
            have yellowed
            and healed.
Sometimes
                   I still feel
your chaos clawing at my bones

You left a bruise on my lip where your teeth gnashed and you growled and you stared into my soul tasting me into being. I think you were infatuated with me and wanted to ingest me. You wanted to take me inside of you and let your biology break me down into the empirical parts of my whole but I didn’t know if that was possible, and I didn't know if you would understand.

You left a bruise on my lip where we touched for the very first time and it aches, but not from pain. It aches for when you will kiss me again, when our mouths collide in an explosion of wonder and wanting to know another person: something tangible, a sense of an idea in your mind, turned into a clamor of color and sound and taste and touch and I think I know you from some place different. Maybe I knew you when we were stars, before our particles were rearranged and we turned to ash and skin and dinosaurs and the world.