Hello Depression. It's nice to finally meet you. You've been apart of me for awhile, but I'm just now finding out about you. Depression you make me feel like I'm drowning. Like I'm drowning in a lake with a sheet of ice above me. I'm under the ice. I see people walk by. I'm banging on the ice but it's just not breaking. I'm screaming but the more I scream the more water fills my lungs. I'm desperate for someone anyone to notice I'm struggling. I want someone to notice and to react. I want someone to be scared to lose me. I want someone to break the ice. To reach down and grab me and help me breathe again. I want to breath again. I want someone to be my reason to breathe. Breathe.

slow down
take your time
and realize
that there's more here
for you
sit outside
in the grass
and the let the sun
taste your skin
sometimes it may feel like
you could fly
with the birds
but all you have to do
is breathe
and you'll be grounded
with the lilacs

If I've got only 86400 seconds
For my breathe to hold
& For my heart to beat,

I'll go onto the graveyard
Dig a hole for my body to be buried,
Then I'll Go to the textile
Get a piece of white cloth With my own money,

Then I'll come back home
Have a wonderful bath
Purify my heart and soul,
Dress beautiful as I've never dressed before,

I'll go back to mom and dad
Lay on mom's lap
Hug dad tightly,

Then put my footstep forward
To my Siblings
Kiss their forehead
Spell out all the best memories we had,

When My last hour has come,
I'll have a bath again
Wrap myself with the white cloth I've brought,

Then get a paper and a pen
My fingertips write out;
"To whosoever Reading this
Don't worry I'm gone,
I've just traveled to the
Most beautiful paradise,
So that I could ask God
To fulfill all your desires
I could hear from the earth
To the heaven I've come,
My grave is dug already
Go bury me there,
I've left my breathe
and my heartbeat happily,
I'm proud that I left my soul
Not giving hard bearings
To people around me,
Love yo'll
Good Bye
Stay Blessed
Take care"

Then I'll leave it besides my bed
Go to sleep under the shades of paradise.


Fathima Ruhee

the calm synth exhales.
i close my eyes as the rumble of the wheels turn.
palms face up on my lap, i pray.

señor, cuídame en este viaje.
estás conmigo.
inhala; exhala.

my stomach dips with the beat,
the bass picks up & so do we,
right on cue in perfect harmony.

i’m not scared of flying.
i found a peace in that moment
where the song, the sky & my soul
snapped into sync so smoothly
that i sighed in serenity.

i’m not scared of flying,
but sometimes of where i’m going,
& of what lies ahead.

but let me have this moment,
where daniel & kali
soar through the clouds with me,
where everything seems to click.

let me breathe,
despite the lack of oxygen outside.
& save a seat for Him.

~ pilot of life, perfect attendant & guiding wind.

And then I inhaled,
A deep earth quaking breath.
And exhaled
With an earth shattering roar!
Fire poured from my lips,
Smoke billowed from my nose.
I was no ones little lamb anymore!

It feels like I’m in an ocean
And I’ve forgotten how to swim
And all my fears are tied to my ankles
And I’m sinking, no drowning
Reaching towards the surface
But grabbing nothing but the air escaping from my lungs

I don't live within the walls,
I don't live between parentheses,
I don't grow towards the light,
I live underground,
Overwhelmed and dissatisfied,
Detached and fretful,
Still thinking my life is my own and my choices have meaning.