Life’s unchanging surf
lulled me into idle sleep.
Then she hit my shores.

Causing them so much frustration
Wanting me to be their perfect little princess
But that's the one thing I'll never be

Why do they put pressure on me?
Expecting everything to be easy
And for me to be so oblivious to them
What they say
What they whisper
Behind my back

You should love me for being myself
Let me be who I am
It's torturing me
That I can't break free
From the expectations
Limitations

Not a stranger to the lies
When our eyes meet
I do not wish to be afraid
I do not wish to be a disappointment
Even though I already am

These scars wouldn't be so hidden
If you would just look me in the eye
I want to be safe in your embrace
Not threatened to  be caged
Far from all I know

I am alone
In this house
Barely heard
Tears that cannot drip
Yet crash like rain
A hurricane of pain

The violence causes silence
From it
The ashes stir
Who are we mistaken?

With their words
And their actions
And their lack of empathy
Another will is breaking
Heart takes over

Inside
They are writhing in agony
Bottling the truth
And giving it to the ocean
Forever lost
Yet always there
Waiting to be found

Their way
Or no way
Just keep quiet
They won't suspect a thing
When you disappear...

- Jay M
April 22nd, 2019

It’s amazing how
We break apart
We shatter into
A million bits
We hurt so much
But there’s something
So beautiful about it
A life full of smiles
Is not nearly as
Powerful as a
Life of smiling
Through pain
Heartbreak
Because that’s how
We grow and learn
To be stronger
Than we are now
There’s this continuity
Of emotions
And it is
Absolutely
Beautiful

you have to learn to outgrow things without it breaking you
you'll revisit memories and places like old friends
and the most beautiful thing will be the way you've changed, when other things have stayed the same
certain pieces of your life are only meant for seasons
certain people, too
there's a melancholy beauty in walking away
let them go, with a soft kind of ruthlessness
endings don't have to be tragedies

It's a script
It's a cycle
Like we're on repeat
The same words tossed around
Without missing a beat

I'm sick of this
I'm done
I don't even give a ****
I don't care about your opinions
I'll break them like a battering ram

You tell me I'm wrong
That I'm misguided, incorrect
But to be honest
Your words now have no effect

I tried to explain to you
I just wanted you to listen
But despite how much I try
It's like tuning out is your new addiction

So no more begging on my knees,
Pleading for you to understand,
******* and your deaf ears,
Obviously your mind is a wasteland.

Oh! The seas of negativity
Snickers, stares, and sneers
Lost and drowned, no opportunity
Trapped within our jeers

And (Look!) we swim and find our way
Confused when they get left behind
Worked twice as hard for no delay
Dismissed outright with (Never mind!)

Oh! Our eyes of pity stare
There with care, but not their friend
They not seen, only the chair
Proud to show the hand we lend

Yet they ignore those smirking eyes and brush those pity eyes
And proud they stand, work times ten: Knowing themselves the wise