Chest full to the brim
Waterfalls spill over

You pick up the piece
There falls another

While bending to help
I see scissors on my lover
Laid in his hands
The blood provides cover

You cut out a piece
There falls another

With tired eyes
I look to you and say
"Thanks for putting me back together".

A weight that crushes
With every exhaled breath
Leaves me helpless and hopeless
Creating an emotional death

I'm tired of hiding from feeling
And apologizing for who I am
Needing to depart from the shadows
Being that person, no one understands

Two parts of a self
That is conflicted but wishes to be whole
One yearning to please everyone
The other desperately trying to escape from web spun molds

This delicate silk
No matter how impenetrable the twine
Hopefully will start separating
And allow both sides to emerge combined

I know you're hurting,
and it seems everything is breaking
apart from every angle.

You feel your thoughts,
and emotions are weighing
your mind and heart.

You feel the days
are dragging you along with it.
You want to be alone,
you push away everyone around you.

I know your contemplating
between giving up,
you feel there is no light.

You feel it's tough,
overwhelming and draining.
You feel the darkness in you
is growing, consuming you cell by cell.
and you just don't fight anymore.

You just want it to stop.
But, I just want you to hang in
there a little longer.

I want you to hold on to the people
who love you even though you feel
there aren't any.

You are loved.
You matter.
Even when you feel
no one can save you,
even when you feel
no one can reach you.

But there is hope as long as there is life.
I want you to breathe.
Just have faith.
Because there is
something greater within you
than the pain or obstacle
you experience and encounter.

It's 3 am,
everything feels like it's falling apart.
Self belief is fading,
heart is aching, mind is raging,
colors are fading,
self esteem is deteriorating,
and I am here expressing.

Writing to reunite the broken pieces
into words and art
so it feels like i am not break and falling apart.

Nothing was attached when we met
and I sure as hell
that you weren't the orchid
that I was searching.

The moon wasn't shining
when I first saw you walking with a bursting orange shirt and I promise you that I never felt that you were a meaningful poetry.

But for a few days, your face lit up my boring world, your jokes shined my darkest river, your smile was the sunrise that I was waiting to see,
and my mind was your place that you're always going to be.

But these past few minutes, your voice is the most unpleasant sound I've ever heard, your eyes are the most boring thing in the world, your face is the last thing I want to see.
I don't want to feel like this but I don't want myself to get hurt.
Go on, I'm not forcing you to love me, because I know, all your life, you've always loved her and not me.

I am out of control.

I feel it in my soul.

I'm tearing apart again.

Tearing apart just like then.


It hurts me so badly,

being stuck in a fake reality.

Not being able to write.

Not able to see the light.


This is all hard to comprehend.

Tell me; When will it all end?

I’m not ok
And I’m done letting that break my heart.
I’m going to forgive myself first this time.
I’m not going to add my disappointment to my situation.
I don’t want to add lightning to dark skies anymore.

And some days it’s ok to put makeup over it and dance.

And I will not let anyone make me feel bad about it.
About being pretty and broken.
About having a big heart but not enough to keep the beating steady.
About wanting your lips as clean up of this mess.
And your hands for grounding.
For needing the sun and coffee just as much as the moon and my pen.
About smiling and breaking at the same time.
About breathing and coming back together at the hands of myself again.