Within my mind are heavy thoughts,
They do not let me feel at ease.
Everything i'd failed to do
Is coming back to haunt me.

Body withered and my mind
Is trapped awaiting for relief -
Heavy duty machines above
Will serve as bridge to a new life for me.

Heavy brain is in the skull,
Drinking blood that flows in veins,
The blood is pumped by a heavy heart -
A heavy heart is all that's left of me.

LONG WAITED ΣXTRACTION OF BRAIN IS COMMENCING,
Heavy heart has been put to rest.
As narcotics put me to sleep i imagine
What future holds for me.

What was it that made me who i had thought i was?
Which parts of self will be put to rest?
After-****** life may just show me the secrets of who I am.
Is life within a machine equivalent to death?

Vivid images i had not seen
Yet imagined like they're real -
The brain is fed through metal tubes
With tar-like liquid that flows within,
The brain is speared by electric spikes -
They cut their way through every part of it.

THE DREAM STATE DISRUPTED BY A HEAVY DESTRUCTIVE SHOCK,
What are these sings i'm receiving? I can't make sense at all.
The feeling of dread is suppressed by machinery, i don't even feel any pain.
Yet heavy thoughts haven't gone away.
More than ever before i am wondering if a choice i had made was correct -
Eternal existence without a future or hopes and no right to be welcomed by death.

In the roaring twenty’s
In my boring twenty’s
I keep seeing glory
But still I keep snoring
So whose fault, is it really?

I’ll take one more nap
When my brain gets bad
The story has capped
With a curtain call clap
These dreams are silly

I’m always afraid of the worst
The fear just churns in my head
Fuelling more of my anxious thoughts
It’s an unfortunate cycle
That I’m desperately trying to break

uppers and downers
feed the human machine
popping tiny missiles to
launch at rocket spreed

It's funny when you go numb

You don't feel anymore.

You've been hurt so much in your life that everything goes away.

Not just your emotions, but your passion.

What you once cared about in life.

Whether it be writing singing drawing.... It's gone.

You eventually get to a point in life where you could watch somebody die right in front of your eyes, and not feel a thing.

Somebody could be going through the hardest time in their life and you would feel nothing.

When you get this numb, it's like an addiction...a way out.

A way of not dealing, the easiest way to say **** it.

Even in this numb state of mind you want to feel.

Humans aren't meant to be numb. We are meant to understand, we are meant to feel...

So now you're stuck fighting this numbness.

Driving yourself mad.

Your mind constantly fighting, but you give up... because now there is no way out....

So it seems.

i have half-moon circles
That sink my eyes into my skin
they reflect what's happening within

my skin folds up like a paper crane
trying to make space
for the stifling thoughts in my brain

it's never enough to stop
the spilling over because
a drop always sneaks out
leaks out onto the blacktop
let out a meaningless shout.
It makes me doubt
Want for a better, stronger mouth
to control what words come about.