They say,
It’s okay to cry
Because
You need to let it
All out.

And when I did,
It wouldn’t stop,
I couldn’t stop,
I had no control
And it burned.

Cloud full of tears
Planting seeds and
Growing thorns
Around my body twisting in knots
I couldn’t untie.

I knew
That being in this house
Was trapping me,
Boxing me up like old toys
Put away, tucked shut.

I felt cornered
With no way out,
No way to escape
All the feelings
Inside me.

I was short of breath,
Close to out of it.
Upset as I was,
I needed to turn it all off
And put an end to it, the agony.

So I took a walk in the rain
At four in the morning
Still dark out
But I had to get out
Of the house.

But finally,
Finally.
I felt release
Through
The fresh air breeze.

They call me no face, the one without a place. My emotions are hidden, there's not so much as a trace.

Blank slate, white face. You'll never know how I feel or even if that laugh was real.

This is not who I choose to be..I use to be a girl with a heart of gold, but now I'm just a ghost and the gold's turned to stone.

My smile stays in place but it doesn't reach my eyes, no matter how hard I try, it's drowned by the tears that I cry.

There's an ache in my chest that reminds me that I'm not the best, and for some reason I can get rid of the thoughts in my head that make me question if I should be alive or dead.

My heart spills to a blade on my hip and my brain with an ink tip.

I am constantly lost somewhere between depression and suicidal rage. Almost if my common sense was locked in a cage, gnawing at the edges of my brain but it's no use, my condition stays the same.

Blank slate, white face. You'll never know how I feel, behind a mask my emotions I do conceal.

I put my thoughts in a bottle
those I don't say
but one day the bottle will be shaken
and it will explode from the pressure
I can't wait for that day

Sometimes I create my own
Writer's block;
It sounds ****** up,
Dozens of us at any given
Moment
Genuinely searching for
Any single word at all,
And here I am,
Wishing my words away,
Creating every writer's
Nightmare
Simply because I'm a
*******
Coward,
Too scared to pick up
My fresh black ballpoint pen
And put it to my
Worn out notebook
Because I'm too
Scared to feel
The dark, painful,
Scary things I know
Will come in the
Free flow of my
Disturbing verses...
So yeah, I'm
That *******,
Creating writer's block
For myself
So I don't have to
Let it all go.

****, that's lame.

Emotions and negative feelings
people's poisonous barbs
attacks and regret
Shame and anger
become bottled up
into a prescription bottle
or better yet
one of those old
medicine cabinets that you drop your razors
into the slot it the back
more and more the rusty razors pile
up into the pit of unseen darkness

One day soon it will be
time to renovate and you will have to
deal with those razors in the wall

After all this hollowness, years of
Vain screams that's been unheard
By my beloved fallen angel
Now I realize, that's not worth it
Keep on fighting against something
That's gonna stay with me forever
the voices whisper in my ears
lying to me as I am fearing
I'll never be the same without you

This presence the spirit, who never leaves me
Alone, the one who whispers in my dreams
While I hide in the empty sanity
Chased me out, burned me down, lost my soul
Then ripped my all, then all that's left are
fuzzy dreams of yesterday, filthy ashes of myself

All  thats left of sanity, is breaking slowly
By the presence of your whisper
I'll forget you once again, silent my fears
Clear up the fuzzy dreams of yesterday
I'll say goodbye to hollowness

Living hidden, in fake smiles,that i never really felt
I wanna forget this, wanna feel quiet loneliness
Reborn in this dark quiet and beautiful  place
Leaving regrets behind me, burying all my fears
And feeling amnesia, won't remember that again

All  thats left of sanity, is breaking slowly
By the presence of your whisper
I'll forget you once again, silent my fears
Clear up the fuzzy dreams of yesterday
I'll say goodbye to hollowness

And I'll find myself get to feel eternal peace
Finish this game that drowns my life slowly
I'll give you my hand, follow you down this path
Stopping forever the presence, the whispers
That drove me inside my own doom
Saying goodbye forever, never felt this
Way before, dont worry I won't miss you
I'll just laugh in your grave, cause you never
Got the chance to fulfill your disturbed fantasy.